Belated

I totally missed my one year anniversary of blogging. I thought that it was during Christmas break last year that I sat down one day and created this little blog of mine. So yesterday I went back in my archives to see just when it was. And guess what? It was November 4th. So it went by without even a mention.

I can remember that day, though. I was in the midst of a severe, long lasting panic attack. It was a Saturday and my husband was teaching his NIC class and so I was home alone with the boys. That's when my anxiety was the worst. When I thought that I was going to die and there would be no one to find me but Josh and Adam. The only way I could make it through those long days was to try to distract myself from the pain in my chest and the thoughts in my head. I had been thinking about blogging for a while and when I ran out of other diversions I went to blogspot and created "A Butterfly Moment." A butterfly moment is a moment of perfect peace. A moment when everything goes away except the beauty and joy of life. And that is so what I longed for at that time in my life.

Since then, my life has changed so much. I went from that darkness and despair to worse and then finally to help and healing. I gave it to God and with his guidance, which included counseling and medication, I am better. Oh, so much better. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the Lord for my life and my sanity...for him giving me the strength and health to get out of bed in the morning able to take care of myself and my family...for that peace that I couldn't quite reach during those days of darkness.

My blog helped me then. It helped take my mind off my worries. It gave me an outlet for my thoughts. It allowed me write. It was there for me through one of the toughest parts of my life so far. And so were all of you. All of you who stop by and read my ramblings. Those of you whose comments have given me strength and encouragement without even knowing it.

So thank you for being a part of my life for the past year. It's been a blessing and I hope it continues to be for a little while longer.