In The Corners Of My Mind

Guess what happened? For the first time in weeks, I had blog ideas over the weekend that had nothing to do with kids! I did, of course, have some about the kids, too. But it seems to be a big step for me post pregnancy and newborn to once again see the world without an overactive hormonal haze. At least for a few moments at a time. Now a few examples.

1. I saw two women and five kids who were perfectly able bodied, pile out of their Escalade that the driver had just parked in the very first handicapped parking space at Target. I knew from the swimsuits and beach hair that they had just spent the day frolicking in the sand and water. I always wonder about people who think it's okay to park in those spaces when they so obviously don't need to. And how do they explain to their children that it's okay?

2. Is it still legal for people to ride in the back of pickup trucks? I saw three teenaged boys riding in the back of a truck hauling hay up the highway. All I could think of was how fast accidents happen and what would happen to those boys if anything happened. I said a little prayer for them and hoped that they were almost to their destination.

But then yesterday after church and lunch and a visit with my parents, I went to lay down for a short nap. And this post happened. Of course, I had Julianna with me. She's my shadow, you know. As we lay on the bed (in the room where the air conditioner is), we were joined by my husband. And then Josh. And then Adam. We talked and laughed for a few minutes and then started to get quiet. The boys said that they weren't sleepy and didn't want to take a nap. But one by one we fell asleep. I'm only ever half asleep these days, so when I opened my eyes and looked over and saw my family all sleeping peacefully by my side, my mind flew back to 25 years ago. My family--mom, dad, sister, and I--lived on Front Street in downtown Coeur d' Alene in a little white house between 9th and 10th Streets. And I remembered, for the first time in years, how on summer Sunday afternoons, the four of us would pile onto mom and dad's bed and take a nap together. I'm sure that there was talking and laughing before the actual sleeping. I'm sure that my sister didn't really intend to take a nap. And as I lay there watching my husband and children all in a pile sleeping in the cool air, I wondered if my mom had ever done the same thing. Did she, like me, look at the faces of her family and smile at how sweet they looked? Did she, like me, wonder just when exactly she became this person who was 30 something and married and a mom? Did she, like me, say a prayer for this family of hers...for their safety and happiness and health? Did she, like me, wish the bed was just a little bit bigger so that she didn't have to have one leg hanging over the edge? And for a few minutes I was two people. I was the 11 year old girl who slept peacefully between mom and dad. And I was the mom and wife who looked at her family with more love than I knew was possible.

So now I have one more reason to love naps. Memories.