I remember the day Josh was born. He had this long, dark hair that stuck out every which way and this perfect little nose and long fingers. He was so beautiful and sweet and miraculous. And I knew that day, that my heart was no longer my own.
Since then, he has grown and changed and become this little person that I've known forever and yet learn more about every day. And since the day he was born, he has hit all the milestones that children should. I have a picture of the first time he really smiled. I can see as clear as day the morning he stuck my finger in his mouth to let me know about his first tooth. I remember his first word, his first step, the first time he waved and laughed and said, "no." I remember his first day of school and the first time he read to me and the day that first tooth fell out. There have been so many firsts with him as my first child. Not only for him but for me, too.
And last night we reached another milestone. He spent the night at a friend's house. When the mom asked me, I have to admit that I was hesitant. I am just a little bit of a control freak and like to keep a pretty close eye on things. I've known this mom and her two boys for a few years now. They go to our school and the youngest was in my kindergarten class two years ago. So I decided to ask Josh if he would even want to spend the night at their house. I was secretly hoping he would say no so that I wouldn't have to decide. But he said a very enthusiastic "yes." So I talked to Arrty and we decided that it would be okay. We packed his bag and dug his sleeping bag out of the closet. He was to be picked up after school so that gave him the school day to think about it. At lunch when he came into my classroom, I asked him if he was still okay with the plans. He said, "Mom, I'm not going to change my mind." I guess he knows me as well as I know him. So after school, he got his stuff out of our car and loaded into his friend's car and almost left without even saying goodbye.
Before I headed home after a few hours of shopping, I called to check on him. The mom said he was doing great. She told me that when they got in the car to leave he was talking and laughing and when she asked him if he was excited, he said, "I'm so excited I'm shaking." When I talked to him he said that their new house was really cool, and that they had lots of video games and a new dog. And, no, he didn't want me to come get him. (I had to try, you know.)
So I went home with only one child, who was extremely spoiled on the shopping trip and got to stay up late, by the way. I only had to make sure one set of teeth was brushed and pull up the covers over one little boy. And so far this morning there has been no fighting over what to watch on t.v. or what games to play.
But as much as I have enjoyed the time with Adam and the quiet of one child, I have to say that I am counting the hours until I go to get Josh. And I promise to try not to embarrass him with all the hugging and crying.
4 comments:
It's nice reading this post...at my age it helps me go back time and think how Mom would call me every now and then when I'm sleeping over at friends house...now I understand. It's Mom's nature... ;)
Get used to it...now. :D
I still can't believe you let him go or that he is even old enough for such requests. How did this happen?
Wow, that is a big milestone! I'm so proud of you, Jen. I haven't crossed that bridge yet with Katie, but it helps a little to see someone else go over it first!
Once when my boys were very young, we were down in southern Idaho visiting John's parents. John's cousin lived about a block down the road and has kids the same age as ours. They were enjoying playing together, and John's cousin invited our boys to spend the night with his kids. I hate to admit that my manners overpowered my maternal instincts and I consented. From the moment that John and I left their house and headed back to John's parents' house, my mind was filled with dozens of overpowering images of my precious boys in life threatening scenarios. The worst fear was that they would wake up in the middle of the night and try to walk down the street to find us. About an hour after we left them, I very coolly said to John, "Oh, Ian left his blanket here. We better take it to him or he will never go to sleep." So we walked down the street with our excuse in hand. When we got there, I lamely explained that Ian needed his blanket, but I also asked the boys if they were sure that they wanted to sleep there the whole night. PRAISE THE LORD! They decided to come back with us! John's cousin was not fooled, however. He made some comment about how the boys were doing just fine until their mom showed up wanting them to come with her. I did not care. At least I was able to sleep that night!
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