Achoo!

Saturday as we drove up to Arrty's mom's place on the north fork of the Coeur d' Alene River, he told the boys that he was going to drive them through the big city of Prichard. He also told them not to sneeze. Adam asked, "Dad, why shouldn't we sneeze?" "Well," he explained, "If you sneeze you'll miss it." They understood once we got there. It would be easy to miss the bar and two old log cabins that make up the town if you sneezed on your way through. They thought it was funny and we continued on our way.

Then, Sunday on our way to church, Julianna sneezed. Instead of saying "bless you," Adam said, "It's a good thing we weren't driving through Prichard!"

Busy-ness

Last week was one of the busiest I've had in a long time.

First our church was having Family Bible Camp (kind of like Vacation Bible School except for the whole family and in the evenings). We went to that Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. It was a great event and we all enjoyed it. The boys especially liked the treats at the end of the night--snow cones, cotton candy, and s'mores. We missed Tuesday because it was family dinner night at my parent's house. We celebrated my brother-in-law's birthday with lasagna and cheesecake. Family dinner night is a weekly event that we all look forward to.

Thursday we took the boys to motocross at the fair. They love to watch the races and always ask when they can get motorcycles. It was rainy and wet and muddy but we made it to the grandstands just in time and stayed mostly dry. I can't say the same for the riders.

Friday we went to "Fun Friday" at church. Our children's minister has planned these special days all summer and we have been to most of them. The boys have especially enjoyed bike day, tie-dyed tee shirt day, and chef day. This week it was movie/slip and slide day. I could hardly get them out of the water.

After that, we headed back to the fair. We spent the afternoon looking at the animal exhibits and eating fair food (Hawaiian shaved ice, hamburgers, fish and chips, corn dogs). Then we went to the rodeo with the whole family--a yearly tradition. After the rodeo we were all thirsty and stopped to get sodas. Josh saw a guy with nachos and wanted some but since we were getting ready to leave we didn't go for more food. Until we were on the road, that is. We ended up stopping at Taco Bell and getting a snack. Josh got nachos, of course.

Saturday we drove up the north fork of the Coeur d' Alene River where Arrty's mom lives and spent the day with her. The boys spent hours in the water finding all kinds of creatures including a snake, a frog, clams, and fish. It was a great time. And we saw two moose and half a dozen deer on the way home.

Then last night we went back into town for a church picnic. There was plenty of food and fellowship as usual, along with a jumpy house and face painting for the kids.

And in between all that, we started school. (A post all on its own.)

So for a full week we weren't home until 9:00pm or later. Poor Julianna was a real trooper through it all even though her schedule got all thrown off course. Josh and Adam were tired, but enjoyed it all. Arrty had fun, but is glad to be done with such a busy week. And me, well, I'm just glad to get back to normal. If there is such a thing.

Discovery

Today the boys and I attended our first Idaho Virtual Academy event. We went to Discovery Day. The boys went to separate classes with kids their own age and did a variety of activities and lessons. I went to the parent sessions with introductions, questions and answers, and expert speakers. It was very interesting. And a little overwhelming. It made me realize just what I was getting myself into. Almost everyone who spoke told us how hard it was going to be. Which I knew. But having someone else say it made me think.

Then a lady who has been homeschooling her children for 6 years shared some of her story. The way she described her relationship with her girls brought tears to my eyes. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, there will be tough days. Yes, I will be challenged in every sense of the word. And I will never regret a second of it.

By the way, everyone there looked absolutely...normal. There wasn't a squirrel skin hat to be found!

I love the Olympics. I can watch pretty much any event and enjoy every minute. Not only that, I love the stories behind the athletes. Like the swimmer who almost drowned as a child or the beach volleyball player who almost quit playing when she struggled to perfect the game.

Last night as I watched, I began thinking about in which sport I might like to compete. Swimming is out because, well, I can't swim. Gymnastics is out because I have never even been able to do a cartwheel. Beach volleyball looks fun but after the match you have to deal with all that sand. Boxing, ouch. Tennis, too much effort. Greco Roman wrestling...no. But then I discovered the perfect Olympic sport for me. Badminton. I was the 10th grade badminton champ in PE in high school. So it's perfect. Plus, the equipment is light and you get to say things like racket and rally and shuttlecock. And to avoid the pressure during the gold medal match, I can pretend that I'm playing in my front yard on a summer afternoon.

I have until 2012 to get ready. And I'll even make for a great story for the commentators. "40 year old Jen began her badminton career at the age of 36 after watching the 2008 Beijing games. Now she's ready to take on the world with racket in hand..."

32 + 1

I went to the dentist today and he told me that I have perfect teeth. "Well, almost perfect," he corrected, "No one's perfect." I brush twice a day but rarely floss and have never had any work done except for a few fillings and still have almost perfect teeth. Not bad.

He also commented on my extra tooth. You see, I have 33 teeth. Two #10s. That's the one right next to the left top front tooth. Most people have 32 teeth if all of them come in and none have been lost or pulled. I have been going to this dentist for over 20 years and he still comments on my extra tooth. At least he doesn't pull everyone in the office in to see it like he used to. Now he just comments to the hygienist about it. Every time. And he gets very excited about it. Every time. Maybe that's because I'm the only patient he's ever had with an extra tooth. And you know he's seen a lot of mouths full of teeth. (Just not as full as mine.)

So I'm pretty sure that I'm his favorite patient--almost perfect teeth and an extra tooth. You know he can't wait until February when I come back.

Ready?

It's mid-August and usually at this time of the year I would be spending most days in my classroom getting it ready for my new students. I would be planning lessons, organizing supplies, putting up posters, and making seating charts. I would be going over class lists and putting up little name tags on coat hooks and cubbies and tables. I would be tearing out workbook pages and writing names on them to get them ready for eager little hands holding brand new pencils.

But this year I am doing none of those things. This year I am spending my time in our basement setting up a very different kind of classroom. This year I will be homeschooling Josh and Adam. They are enrolled in the Idaho Virtual Academy. I am at once excited and hesitant about the prospect of homeschooling. It is wonderful (and challenging) to teach my own kids. I had them both in my kindergarten class. And I really am looking forward to doing the IDVA curriculum with them. It is a great program that provides families with all the supplies they need to homeschool. But I also know myself and my children. Josh is very smart and will be able to do much of the work on his own, but he is also stubborn and wants to do things his way or no way. Adam is above grade level, too, but can be silly beyond imagination and would often rather play than work.

We talked about this last spring when I asked them if they would like to be homeschooled. They were all for it. Josh said that he would be able to get his work done so much faster if there weren't so many other classmates talking around him. (I did not point out that he was the one doing much of the talking in class.) And Adam said that he wanted to homeschool so that he could be home with me and the baby. (This was before she was born and he still feels the same way about her.) So I talked to them about their issues and made sure that they realized that it would still be school and they would still have to do work just like always. They assured me that they would do what they were supposed to.

So that brings things to me. Now it's up to me to make sure that they have everything they need to succeed in this new endeavor. I have to combine all my mommy knowledge and all my teacher knowledge to give them the best education I can. I have to balance everything that mommies do at home while also teaching my children several hours a day. I have to be consistent to make sure that the boys learn what they are supposed to in school and what they are supposed to about life. And I have to do all this while taking care of their 2 1/2 month old sister.

I have a feeling that I just may be the one learning the most this year.

Natural Consequences

This morning when I asked Adam to get my magazine for me while I was nursing Julianna, he informed me that I make him do everything and I do nothing for him. Well, as consequences for his being disrespectful about it, I told him that for the rest of the day he will do everything for himself and whenever he asks for my help, I remind him of those consequences. As a result, he made his own lunch, did his craft project alone, and picked up all his own messes among other things. And we still have dinner, baths and bedtime to go. Maybe next time he'll just get the magazine.

Ramblings

Friday we went to a Spokane Indians baseball game. It was fun as usual. Except for the lady sitting behind us who was cheering for Yakima. Loudly. And who kept yelling, "Down in front!" to anyone who stood up in front of her anywhere in our section for any reason. She even yelled it if she thought someone was blocking someone else's view.

I made $73 at a friend's garage sale on baby stuff that had been given to me that I either didn't need or already had. I'll use the money to buy Julianna an entertainment seat.

Speaking of Julianna, she had her 2 month doctor's appointment on Friday. She is now 22 inches long and weighs 11 pounds 8 ounces. She also had to get shots. Poor girl. She did great though and was fine after a few doses of Tylenol.

Still speaking of Julianna, she has consistently slept between 6 and 7 hours for almost 4 weeks now. I didn't mention it earlier because I didn't want to jinx it. She has also moved from the bassinet in our room to the crib in her room. She is growing and changing too fast. Sigh.

Sunday we went to Art On The Green. It's kind of like having a garage sale. You have to do it every few years to remind yourself why you don't want to do it again. Too many people and too much money for a huge bun with a tiny piece of chicken. (Although the guy who stood in front of the speakers during the bluegrass concert and danced alone for a very long time was kind of entertaining.)

Shark Week on Discovery Channel is over. Never in my life have I watched so many shows about sharks as I did this week. The boys in my family couldn't get enough. Did you know that sharks are repelled by the smell of dead sharks? Or that bull sharks, not great whites, are considered the deadliest sharks? Or that if you are being attacked by a shark and poke it in the eye it will let go? Well, now you do. And when they have butterfly week, I'm totally making my family watch every minute!!

Summer Theater Fun

For the past few summers I have gotten CDA Summer Theater tickets with some of my sister-friends. We always have such a great time going to dinner and watching the shows together. It's something that I look forward to throughout the summer. I missed the first one this summer because Miss Julianna was only 12 days old and I wasn't quite ready to get "All Shook Up" with Elvis. The second show, "La Cage Au Folles" was funny, but a little over the top for me. But on Saturday, the girls and I were in for a treat. We went to Fort Ground Grill for dinner, a new place for us all. It was great. The food was really good and after tasting a bit off all the plates around the table, we decided that we will definitely go there again.

The show for the night was "Once Upon A Mattress" and none of us really had any idea about it except that it was based on the princess and the pea story. It turned out to be a whole lot of good, clean fun. From the obnoxious queen to the meek prince to the mute king to the lovable princess, every minute was completely entertaining. I knew from the second that we met the mote swimming Princess Winnifred that I would love her. And I did. At intermission I told the girls that we had to take her with us to dessert afterwards. She would fit right in with our little group. She was funny and fun and kind and sweet. And most of all, she was who she was and didn't care who knew it. My second favorite character was King Sextimus played by the always wonderful Jack Bannon. Poor King Sextimus is mute and must communicate with hand signs which makes for several moments of hilarity, especially when he's trying to explain to Prince Dauntless about the birds and the bees. Let's just say his stork impression is priceless! And as usual the actors were amazing, the music was perfect, and the story was entertaining.

So once again, I was not disappointed. It was a wonderful evening filled with great food, a terrific show, and my favorite friends.

We Need To Get Out More

One afternoon last week, the boys asked if we could make chocolate chip cookies. Why not? It is summer vacation after all. So here's how we make cookies at my house. Get the bag of cookie mix out of the pantry. Add a stick of butter and an egg. Mix. Bake. And eat. (The boys do know that there are other ways to bake and have seen baking from scratch on occasion for those of you cringing at my cookie mix.) Since I know that they like to help, I asked Adam to get the eggs out of the fridge and told him to take one out of the carton. He sat the carton on the counter and opened it. But as the top went up, the bottom slipped off the counter and dumped 11 of the dozen eggs on the floor. I looked at him and he looked at me and we both looked at the scrambled mess on the floor and I started to laugh. And then he started to laugh (relieved that I was laughing, I think). We got paper towels and a plastic bag to put the mess in and both got on our knees to start cleaning up. Josh then joined in and began picking up shells and yolks. It didn't take long for the boys to discover the squishy fun of squeezing the yolks through their fingers. They laughed and played and made the mess bigger than it was to start with. Then Josh said, "This is the most fun I've had all day!" And that's when I realized that we really should get out more often.

Word Of The Day

Yell heard down the hall from the boy's room:

"Josh! Stop telling me what to do! I am not your minion!!"

Minion?!?! Really?

Mush

As I looked back at my posts since Julianna was born, I noticed that they have all been very mushy and sweet. And while there have definitely been those mushy, sweet times, that's certainly not all that comes along with a new baby. So I thought that with this post I would share a bit of the reality that happens between those moments that I gaze into the face of my baby daughter.

One thing is that she cries. Loud. She only cries if she's hungry. Or tired. Or really needs a diaper change. And pretty much every time we put her in the car seat. But, she's not colicky, thank goodness, and cries less than most babies, I think. And we've learned how to soothe her pretty quickly, but last week in Costco when her screams were echoing throughout the warehouse, I realized just how anxious her crying can make me. Her crying doesn't usually bother me, but I don't want it to bother anyone else.

And then there's the diapers. Oh, the diapers. First of all, who knew that such a little person could make such a big mess. And so very often. It's a good thing I received so many diapers as gifts. It's going to cost a bundle when those run out. Secondly, I thought that with a little girl I wouldn't have to be so quick on the draw with the changing. But, guess what? Instead of wetting up like a fountain, she wets down all over the pretty pink outfit that I just put on her 10 seconds before.

Then there's the lack of sleep. I know that I need lots of sleep to function without getting grouchy, so I started praying for a baby who was a good sleeper a long time before she was born. But like all babies, her sleeping is inconsistent to say the least. For the first few weeks she and I spent most nights on the couch or in the rocking chair with me holding her. Then she slept in the bed with me for a while, but I didn't sleep well at all. Now she sleeps in the bassinet next to our bed most of the time and usually sleeps 3 or 4 hours at a time. Last night was great, though. She slept 6 hours straight! Woo hoo! (I hope I didn't just jinx it.)

This next one is something that I have to mention even at the risk of my "World's Best Mom" mug being taken away by the LaLeche League. Breastfeeding. It is one of my least favorite parts of the baby thing. I know that I'm supposed to love it. But I don't. I do it because it's best for the baby and for me. I nursed the boys until they were about 6 months old and plan to do the same with Julianna. But for the most part I find it uncomfortable, inconvenient (outside the house), and well...drippy. It does, however get bonus points for being free.

But besides the crying and the diapers and the sleep deprivation and the breastfeeding, everything in my life really is all mushy and sweet.

One Month

Yesterday Julianna turned one month old. And just as I suspected, time with her is flying by. I realized very early on with her that I better relish every moment because, just like with the boys, I'm going to blink and she'll be 8 years old. Those early days with her weren't easy. It seemed like all I did was feed her and hold her and change her and try to figure out which one she wanted me to do. On very little sleep. But here we are, a month into her little life. I know her a little better. She knows me a little better. We are both sleeping a little more. And I love her more and more every time I look at her.

And now, finally, she seems real. For so long it was like a dream. A long morning sickness, tired body, c-section, hospital room, weird nurse filled dream. I'd look at her and wonder when and why and how she became a part of me. And then a few mornings ago as she lay beside me looking so amazingly lovely in the dawn light, I realized why God sent her to us. It's for me. I need her. I don't know why yet. And I don't even know when I'll know why. But it hit me like a ton of bricks that God sent me this beautiful little daughter, not because she needs me, but because I need her. She is going to help me become a better person. She is going to teach me things that no one else can. She is going to play some part in my life that can't be filled by any one else. So now as I watch her grow and change, I will also be growing and changing.

But right now, she is calling me and it looks like the change of the moment is a diaper change.

In The Corners Of My Mind

Guess what happened? For the first time in weeks, I had blog ideas over the weekend that had nothing to do with kids! I did, of course, have some about the kids, too. But it seems to be a big step for me post pregnancy and newborn to once again see the world without an overactive hormonal haze. At least for a few moments at a time. Now a few examples.

1. I saw two women and five kids who were perfectly able bodied, pile out of their Escalade that the driver had just parked in the very first handicapped parking space at Target. I knew from the swimsuits and beach hair that they had just spent the day frolicking in the sand and water. I always wonder about people who think it's okay to park in those spaces when they so obviously don't need to. And how do they explain to their children that it's okay?

2. Is it still legal for people to ride in the back of pickup trucks? I saw three teenaged boys riding in the back of a truck hauling hay up the highway. All I could think of was how fast accidents happen and what would happen to those boys if anything happened. I said a little prayer for them and hoped that they were almost to their destination.

But then yesterday after church and lunch and a visit with my parents, I went to lay down for a short nap. And this post happened. Of course, I had Julianna with me. She's my shadow, you know. As we lay on the bed (in the room where the air conditioner is), we were joined by my husband. And then Josh. And then Adam. We talked and laughed for a few minutes and then started to get quiet. The boys said that they weren't sleepy and didn't want to take a nap. But one by one we fell asleep. I'm only ever half asleep these days, so when I opened my eyes and looked over and saw my family all sleeping peacefully by my side, my mind flew back to 25 years ago. My family--mom, dad, sister, and I--lived on Front Street in downtown Coeur d' Alene in a little white house between 9th and 10th Streets. And I remembered, for the first time in years, how on summer Sunday afternoons, the four of us would pile onto mom and dad's bed and take a nap together. I'm sure that there was talking and laughing before the actual sleeping. I'm sure that my sister didn't really intend to take a nap. And as I lay there watching my husband and children all in a pile sleeping in the cool air, I wondered if my mom had ever done the same thing. Did she, like me, look at the faces of her family and smile at how sweet they looked? Did she, like me, wonder just when exactly she became this person who was 30 something and married and a mom? Did she, like me, say a prayer for this family of hers...for their safety and happiness and health? Did she, like me, wish the bed was just a little bit bigger so that she didn't have to have one leg hanging over the edge? And for a few minutes I was two people. I was the 11 year old girl who slept peacefully between mom and dad. And I was the mom and wife who looked at her family with more love than I knew was possible.

So now I have one more reason to love naps. Memories.

Here Comes the Sun

Every time I'm tempted to complain about the heat, I remind myself about the miles and miles of snow that was in our yard a few short months ago. And I remember that at least I don't have to shovel the heat to get to my car.

Kids

Maybe it's sleep deprivation. Or maybe it's the fact that I spend my entire day solely taking care of my children. But I really can't think of a thing to write about other than the kids.

First, I just have to say that Josh and Adam are the world's greatest big brothers. Even after two weeks, they still can't stay away from their sister. They think she's the cutest, sweetest baby ever. They fight over who gets to sit by her and hold her and kiss her first. They help me any way they can and even go so far as to getting the diaper changing stuff ready (as long as they don't have to touch the dirty one). I just have to wonder how long this will last. I'm thinking that when Julianna is 6 and Josh is 14 and Adam is 13, there might not be so much doting. But maybe there will be. It will certainly be fun to watch.

And Julianna. It still feels like a dream that she's here at all. I wake up to her sounds at 2:00am and look down at this little girl with the face of an angel and lungs of an opera singer and wonder where in the world she came from. The whole journey with her has seemed somehow surreal--from the pregnancy to delivery to now. And I look forward to getting to know her and finding out just why God sent her to us.

So now we have to say "kids" instead of "boys." As in, "Are the kids ready for church?" And I get to play dress up with my little doll-faced girl in all her piles of pink. And I get to watch as my family, every one of us, changes a little each day. And I get to see, in the faces of my children, how blessed I truly am.

Today's Schedule

1. Change baby's diaper
2. Feed baby
3. Burp baby
4. Rock baby
5. Repeat 100 times

Five

Julianna is peacefully sleeping...on her brother's lap. Neither of the boys can get enough of her after a week of her being here. They are always wanting to kiss or hold or talk to her. And they even want to help change diapers, which before her arrival, they were determined to avoid at any cost. They are in love with this little girl that they have waited so long for. And I love that they feel nothing but love for her right now.

She is officially one week old. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just yesterday she was still in my belly hiccuping the day away. But she's here in all her lovely baby-ness. She is soft and sweet and beautiful. She is everything I knew she would be and more. She keeps me up at night and keeps me busy feeding and changing her, but I am loving it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do everything that I needed to do and that sleep deprivation would be the end of me. But I'm actually feeling pretty good and, since she will by my last baby, I am trying to soak in every second of being the mother of a newborn again.

She was born with minimal difficulty, considering the whole abdominal surgery thing. I admit that I was pretty scared as the morning went on with all the preparations and at one point had to give myself a little pep talk. I said something like, "She's in there and she's coming out. Say a little prayer and get in the operating room." Which is what I did. The anticipation was the worst part. The reality was tough, but I made it through and most importantly so did Julianna. And after two and a half days in the hospital, we made it home. What a relief to be in my own home without nurses poking and prodding at all hours.

So, here we are, our little family of five. And so far it's been good. The bonding and the planning and the loving. And I know that it will only get better.

She's Here

Julianna Grace was born Monday, June 2nd at 8:04am. She weighed 7lb 14oz and was 21 inches long.

And now she wants to eat. Be back later.

Ready Or Not

This very well might be my last blog as a mother of two. In a few short days, I will have three children. Two boys who I can't remember life without. And a new daughter who will, I'm sure, turn my life upside down once more.

Early in the morning, if I'm lying on my side in just the right position, it doesn't even feel like I'm pregnant. Then I try to roll over. And all of a sudden there she is. Sometimes during the day I'll be going about whatever it is I'm going about, and I'll look down and can't see my feet for my belly. And it hits me. I'm about to have a baby. Not, I'm pregnant. I know that. But, in less than 72 hours I will be holding my daughter. This child who has grown in my belly for the last 9 months. This child who has caused so much emotion. This child who must be a girl because she already has way too many clothes. This child whom God has sent to be part of our lives. She will be here so very soon.

The room is ready. She has a place to sleep and diapers to wear and books for her brothers to read to her. But am I ready? Am I ready for sleepless nights and a helpless infant? Am I ready to have my heart once again walking around outside my body in the form of this tiny little person? Am I ready to have enough of everything I need to mother three children? Well, here's the thing. It doesn't really matter if I'm ready or not. She's on her way. And in all honesty, I am ready for one thing. To see her little face and to see who she is and to see who I am with her.

We've been connected, she and I, for long enough. And I've enjoyed every second of it. But it's time to move on. It's time to step into the next phase of our lives together. My family's life with 5 instead of 4. Her life as a member of our family that everyone can hold and love. My life as the mother of three and of a daughter. As scary as it still is and will probably continue to be, I am ready. I am ready to hold my daughter and share her with the world. And pray every second that she is safe and healthy and happy in that world.