For Blessed Sunday this Mother's Day, I have had many ideas for the blessings I could write about. Obviously I could write about the blessing my children are. Or I could write about my mom or other moms I know. I could even write about the blessings of motherhood in general. But the blessing I decided on for today is what motherhood has taught me about God.
You see, for me motherhood has been the greatest catalyst in increasing my relationship with God. I feel like I know and understand him better. I feel like I love him more deeply since I became a mother. It started at the very beginning of my mom journey. I had a little bit of trouble getting pregnant with Josh. In my control-freak manner I prayed for a baby. My time. My terms. My plans. He said "no." Finally after a while I gave it to him. I literally prayed, "Okay, I'm giving it to you. Do what you want." Josh happened. That was my first lesson. One I still remember and am blessed by to this day. His time. His terms. His plans.
Since I became a mom I've also learned about God's love. The love I feel for my kids defies understanding. It's an instinctual, intense, amazing love. God's love for me, and you, is like that, too. Only his love is perfect in every way. Perfect and unconditional and so much more amazing than any love we can feel on earth. I also can finally understand a little better how God can love us all with that awesome love. When I was pregnant with Adam, I wondered how I could possibly love him as much as I loved Josh. And then I did. With Julianna I knew I would love her as much. I understood that love is in no way limited. There's always enough to go around. If I had 6 billion children like God does, I would love each and every one just as I loved the first. Each differently but equally.
And then there's grace. You know, when we're given something even when we don't deserve it. Over the last 11+ years I have learned a little more about God's grace given to me. And I've learned a ton about giving grace to others. I give of myself to my children 'til there's no more to give. And then somehow I find more. Most of the time they take it for granted. Most of the time they take advantage of it. Most of the time I don't mind. Beyond that, I sometimes don't give them something they do deserve. Like consequences or lectures or worse. That's grace, too. Just like God's grace. I don't deserve so much that he gives me. And I certainly do deserve so much that he chooses to not give me. Hallelujah! Amazing grace!
I truly count motherhood as one of my greatest blessings. For so, so, so many reasons. Honestly, I can't imagine how I could even begin to understand my Father if I weren't a mother. Josh, Adam, and Julianna are a part of me just as I am a part of him. The rely on me just as I rely on him. They are my greatest joy in this life. I pray and hope with all my heart that I can be a great joy to the one who gives all joy.