Wednesday, October 06, 2010

It's All In My Head

I have a head full of books. The thousands I've read, of course. But also 3 or 4 or 5 or a dozen half written in my brain. Among them are a couple of children's books, a couple of young adult stories, one or two short novels, and a book about overcoming anxiety. The thing is, I can't seem to get them on paper. I have scraps of paper and notebooks with ideas scribbled on them. And I have pages written here and there, but nothing substantial. Except for in my head. They are good ideas. Some really good. Some even inspired.

My dream is to be a writer. A writer who's work gets read by the masses. And who might even get paid for said writings. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid to fail. I'm afraid that what sounds so good in my head won't translate to the page. Afraid that my words won't be as treasured by others as they are by me.

But lately I've begun to feel like the servant who buried his talent in the sand to just get it taken away by the master when he returned. I don't want to be that servant. The one who's afraid to use his talent. I want to be the 5 talent servant. The one who takes his five and uses them and multiplies them and in turn glorifies his master. I've always felt able to write and been told I was pretty good at it. I remember often my favorite college English teacher telling me to not waste my writing gift. And I truly don't want to waste it. I want to use it and share it. I want to help and entertain and teach with my words.

So I guess the question is, where do I go from here? Do I step out in faith? Do I put in the work? Do I overcome my fear? Can I do those things? I think I'm ready to try. Wish me luck. Or better yet, say a prayer for me.

9 comments:

Ada said...

do it.
do it.
do it.

Alyson said...

Do it! Go for it!

First of all, I DON'T think you'll fail. I think you'll write a lovely story that everyone and their monkey will want to read. But no matter the outcome you'll learn something and do it again.

Do IT!!!!

Katrina said...

Yes, please! The world needs more Jen in it. You write beautifully, and anyone who reads you will love you. :)

Do it!

kathy said...

just don't make me a case study in your anxiety book. or at least change my name. call me....katrina.

Jen said...

Thanks girls, for all the encouragement. I expect you to all buy multiple copies of my first book.

Ada said...

ha ha ha kathy.

Sister Christian: Call me Katrina too.
Ha hahaaaaha hahaaaaa haaaa.

kathy said...

wow. that "katrina" person is going to sound like a real basket case.

Katrina said...

Well, you can use my real name if you write about me. Just be sure to work in the story about how I met Dick Van Dyke and saved the world from a poorly executed "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" sequel.

kathy said...

and all it took was one little restraining order.