"Don't give up what you want most for what you want now."--Benjamin Franklin

When?

Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to explore the flora and fauna of the hills. She watched "Happy Days" and "Laverne and Shirley" on TV and played "slap jack" with her grandma.

Then one day she woke up and she was sixteen and in high school. She loved to sing and read and write and was determined that she would never get married.

Then one day she woke up and was twenty and married. She loved movies and her new husband and wasn't sure if she wanted to have children.

Then one day she woke up and had a baby. She loved him more than she thought possible and was determined to be a good mommy.

Then one day she woke up and had two babies. And she loved that one just as much as the first one.

Then one day she woke up and those babies were going to school and reading and wanting cell phones. She loved to be read to and was determined that no eight year old boy needed a cell phone.

Then one day she woke up and she had another baby--a sweet, beautiful little girl. She fell in love again and knew that this little girl was sent from above.

Then today she woke up and looked around and wasn't quite sure when all this had happened. Just when did that little girl who loved to watch tadpoles and look for four leaf clovers become this woman with a husband and three children and a sink full of dirty dishes? And she wondered who she will be tomorrow.

Words

"The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug."--Mark Twain

Good advice for a wannabe writer like me.

Extra Time

Today is the day we "fall back" and therefore have an extra hour in the day. Most people talk about using that extra hour to sleep, but our family uses it differently. Every year on this day we get up at our regular time and go out for breakfast before church. We couldn't remember when we started doing this, but I think it began one year when we forgot to set the clocks back and showed up for church an hour early. Today though, all these years later, instead of just the two of us having breakfast out, all five of us did. How our lives have changed. And so today, when I really could have used an extra hour of sleep, I instead used my extra hour to make a memory...and enjoy french toast.

And today Julianna is 5 months old. Her personality is really starting to come out. Right now she is lying on her tummy (which she rolls to often) and "talking" up a storm. She is happy and giggly and cuddly and growing way too fast.

November

Today is November 1st and therefore the first day of Nablopomo, which stands for National Blog Posting Month. I have once again joined this crazy group of bloggers with the goal of posting on my blog everyday during the month of November. This is challenging for a few reasons. One, coming up with something to write about everyday is harder than it sounds. And, two, actually finding the time to write is even more difficult. So I will write everyday but I give no guarantees that everyday will be the brilliant and witty posts that you're used to. :)

Secondly, November means something else. It means that the holidays are just around the corner. Adam asked me this morning how many days until Christmas. 55. That's how many days until Christmas. And before that comes Thanksgiving. I love this time of year and am looking forward to it. I get a warm feeling just thinking about days spent with family and the yummy smells as I walk into my mom's house on Thanksgiving day and decorating the Christmas tree with my kids and sitting in the dark with a cup of hot chocolate watching the lights twinkle. And this year will be especially fun as I watch the whole thing through the eyes of my daughter as she experiences it for the first time.

So it's November. And November is good.

My Vote

I have voted in every presidential election since I was old enough to vote. That would be 1992, 1996, 2000, and 2004. So since I have been voting we have had two presidents. I voted for one of them. But this year I have been more interested in the election than I ever have been before. I am more knowledgeable about the candidates and the issues thanks to Huckleberries Online and John Stewart. Oh yeah, and I watched all the debates and read a few articles, too.

But I think I've had enough. I think I have seen and heard and talked about the election enough and here's why.

Last night I dreamt about Obama. He was at my house visiting like we'd known each other forever and were old friends. He kept talking to me like he assumed that I was voting for him. I felt guilty for not telling him that I wasn't voting for him even if we were friends. I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn't. I tried to change the subject. I tried to avoid him. I tried to make excuses but he wouldn't let it drop. I felt bad but I just couldn't tell him that I wasn't voting for him. I was instead voting for...myself (as a write in candidate, of course).

Milestones

We have reached two milestones at our house this week.

1. Julianna is rolling over from her back to tummy. She'll stay there for a few minutes until she gets tired of looking at the floor and then we take turns turning her back over.

2. Josh has begun to take showers without being asked. He even asks me if he can. My answer--"Uhh, yeah."

Lock Down

Did I ever tell you the story about how Julianna caused a lock down at the hospital?

Well, now a days when you have a baby at our local medical center, they put a little device on each newborn not unlike the security devices on expensive articles of clothing at department stores. It is on an anklet and is about the size of a quarter only four times as thick. This device causes all the doors in the maternity ward to lock if any newborn goes within so many feet of the door wearing said device. They had told me about this ahead of time so I knew what it was the first time I unwrapped Julianna from her blanket and saw it on her ankle. It seemed huge on her tiny little leg just above her long, skinny foot.

The night after she was born, the nurse took her from our room into the nursery for her hearing test. After a while (I don't know how long-- I was exhausted and on some really good pain medication) they brought her back all bundled up again, and put her into her bassinet. When she woke up and began to fuss, I put her in bed with me. Which is where she was the next morning when a nurse burst through the door and quickly scanned the room looking for our baby. "Do you have your baby," she asked frantically. "Uhh, yes," I answered at about the same time she saw Julianna lying beside me. "Okay," she said and hurried from the room. Arrty and I looked at each other and wondered just what that weird exchange was all about. A little while later we found out.

It seems that when the nurse had Jules in for her hearing test and changed her diaper, the anklet fell off and got thrown into the trash. The next morning when the janitor came to take out the garbage, the anklet, that was supposed to be on our daughter, caused a lock down on the third floor of the hospital from the inside of a garbage bag. They knew it was hers because of the computer program to which it was linked and were able to quickly solve the problem and let the poor janitor go about her business.

Soon after, the nurse came and took Jules to the nursery and put a new anklet on her. This time it was a little tighter than the first.

Update on Halfway

(Read Halfway--the previous post, before you read this one.)

Well, it seems I was wrong. I am not to the halfway point with Josh. Today as we were studying mammals in science it talked about how mammal mothers take care of their young until they are ready to care for themselves. And then it asked the question, "How long do you think it will take until you are ready to be on your own." Josh asked, "You mean without parents?" "Yes," I replied. Josh thought for a minute then answered, "32."

So, I am really only 28% finished with him. Phew! That gives me plenty of time.

(By the way, Adam's answer was 25.)

Halfway

Today is Josh's birthday. He is turning 9. NINE. I can hardly believe it. I remember the moment I found out I was pregnant with him. I remember the first time I felt him move in my belly. I remember lying on the operating table and hearing him cry for the first time. I remember the first time I fed him and changed his diaper and looked into his eyes. I remember the long nights standing, half asleep, rocking him in my arms trying to get him to sleep. I remember his first word, his first steps, his first birthday. I remember his first day of school, the first time he read to me, the first time he rode his big boy bike. And I remember the last bottle I fed him and the last night he slept in his crib. But I didn't notice the last time I helped him take a bath or the last time he called me mommy instead of mom or the last time I picked out his clothes for him. And I don't remember the last time he curled up in my lap to read a story. So, I hope that today, as he turns nine, I will remember to pay attention and notice those lasts because really, they are as important as the firsts.



Last week as I was thinking about his birthday and making preparations for his party, I realized that he is turning nine. And nine is halfway to 18. And 18 is when he is officially an adult and should be able to make his own decisions. And he is halfway there. And I am halfway there. I have used up half my time with him to help him become who he was meant to be. I have spent half of his childhood loving him and moulding him into the person he will become. I have to wonder if I've done justice to the gift that he is. To the soul that his not so little body contains. Have I been the mother I should be for him? The answer is no. I have failed so many times. But the answer is also yes. Because I have tried to love him and guide him as best I can. So today, as my firstborn reaches the halfway mark, I will pray especially hard that I will have the wisdom I need for the second half.

Ink

I saw this story yesterday about how Angelina Jolie has a tattoo showing the geographical locations where each of her six children were born. I think it's kinda cool. But if I were to have a tattoo like this it would be a little boring. All three of my children were born in the exact same location. In the exact same operating room, even. Not in Africa or Asia or fancy shmancy hospitals in France.

So I began to think, if I were going to get ink'd (notice how cool I am using the word ink'd) to represent my children, what kind of ink would I get. I could get their initials--JS, AD, JG. But that's boring and predictable. I could get their birthdays. Still not enough kick. I could get their nicknames. Yoshi for Josh, Bubba for Adam, Jujubee for Julianna. But when they get older they might not appreciate those names like they do now. Maybe something that represents their interests. A fish for Josh and a bug for Adam, but all Julianna is interested in is eating and I don't think I want that kind of a tattoo. What about some exotic foreign symbol that represents their names? Too cool for me. How about a cartoon character that reflects their personality? Bugs Bunny for Josh, Tasmanian Devil for Adam, Tweety Bird for Jules. I'm sure I would never regret that!

So I'm kind of at a loss. I'll just have to keep thinking about it. Because all of you who know me know that I'm totally an ink kind of gal.

Sleepy

Josh has a pet turtle. He got him for his 5th birthday to replace the one that ran away. His name is Leonardo (after the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, of course) and when Julianna was born he was banished to the basement since the play room where his tank was became her room.


Well, this morning when I went downstairs to get some of the boys' stuff for school, I didn't see him in his tank. I looked for any sign of him and saw nothing. There is no way possible for him to escape said tank and so I came to the conclusion that he must be hibernating. Turtles do hibernate in the wild during the cold months and since there has been no heat on in the basement I thought maybe he was buried in there asleep. So I poked around under the bedding a little and sure enough I soon felt his shell.


And then I thought about last night. About how I was up with Jules until 11:00 and then back up at 11:42 and 12:23 and 12:58 and 2:44 and finally at 6:23. And I began to wonder if hibernation is possible for humans. I could use a month or two of sleep.

Changing Seasons

I think I've changed my mind.

Forever I have thought that my favorite season is summer. But, now, today, I'm thinking that maybe it's fall. This weather that we've been having is perfection. Warm and sunny during the day. Warm enough for tee shirts and shorts, but not so hot that you have to hide in the air conditioning. And cool in the evening and at night. No more of those so-sweltering-you-can't-sleep nights. Perfect weather for me to enjoy this amazing place where we live.

In the last week I have taken the kids out for two field trips. Friday we went downtown and did the Mudgy and Millie walk. It was great. The sky was blue. The lake calm. The story and statues as good as I expected. I was also reminded of how much I like downtown. I remember when I was little, we lived on Front Street and spent a lot of time down at the lake and at the park. But now, during the summer, it's just too crowded for me to enjoy. Friday, though, there were just a handful of people here and there. Not enough to make any one area seem crowded. The boys especially liked the little stream that flows just above the steps that go into the lake at Independence Point. As I stood and watched them play in it, I was taken back in time to the early eighties when I was their age and did the exact same thing. I could picture so clearly summer days spent sitting along that stream with so many other children splashing and playing in the water. It was one of those moments that made me feel all warm and sweet with good childhood memories. So I once again fell in love with downtown Coeur d' Alene. I hope to spend a few more days there before the snow flies this year. And now I know that fall is the season to enjoy downtown.

And then yesterday we went to Carver Farms. The boys were able to spend some time with their friends from last year's school. We walked around the farm, picked pop corn, went on a hay ride, and picked pumpkins and gourds. All very fall-like activities. All very enjoyable. And once again the weather was ideal. Short sleeves and a cute little sun hat for Jules.

So I am enjoying this season even more than the last. And maybe I always have but am just now realizing it. Yep, I think that's it. I have officially changed my mind. My second favorite season is summer. And my very favorite season is fall.

Ugh...

I'm sick with that beginning-of-the-school-year cold. And I'm not even at school. What's the deal with that?!?!

More About Homeschooling

Every year when I start teaching a new class, I have to evaluate the personality of the class and the students in the class. I have to think about the year before and what worked and what didn't. I have to try different management techniques. Sometimes I'll start the year doing one thing but discover that that year's class may not respond to stickers or gummy bears or whatever. (M-n-M's rarely fail, though.) Time-outs may work for one student but don't affect another at all. It's all trial and error in a classroom setting.

And this year is no different. I have had to change some things that I had planned. I've had to add some things and take away some things. I've had to adjust my ideal to fit the reality of homeschooling Josh and Adam. We discussed this in detail before we made the decision last spring and they agreed that it's what they wanted to do and that they would do their part. I agreed, too, knowing that it was going to be hard. After all, I know my children. I know that Josh is stubborn and doesn't like to write. Getting him to write the most simple journal entry or paragraph is like pulling teeth. I know that. And I know that Adam is a perfectionist and can be silly beyond words. If he thinks he "can't" do something there will be tears on his part and mine before it gets done. And if it's not fun, he sees no point in it. I knew all that before I decided to homeschool them. I did, after all, have them both in my kindergarten class.

So, just like every other year, I have had to make some changes to the master plan. I have implemented a log where they have to sign in any time they complain or argue or call each other names. The worst part for them is that it sits on the counter and their dad sees it when he comes home. (Everyone needs a little help sometimes.) This has definitely made my life easier even though it was hard the first few days...lots of signing in and even more crying.

Another thing I discovered is that they would take all day to do their work if I let them. But unlike them, I have other things to do besides school. So we have started a "homework" file. Anything that they don't get finished in the time I give them goes in that folder and they have to do it on their own time.

Lastly, I have had to remember that they are only kids. Yes, they are getting to be almost as tall as me and can carry on a conversation with any adult, but they are kids. I had this idea that we would do school in the morning. Sit down and work and get finished before lunch. I failed to realize that they would need and want breaks. And I have discovered that breaks are good. For all of us. So we get up and go for a walk. Or watch an episode of Spongebob. Or go outside for PE. Anything to get away from math problems or spelling words.

So, really, this year hasn't been much different from any other year. Except that I only have two students. And there are no staff meetings. And I teach in my pajamas.

Call Me

I have a friend (Kathy) who is my "weird phone call" friend. I love it when I hear her ringtone on my phone because it's usually something interesting. She has called to tell me what the guy in front of her in the grocery store check-out line has in his cart (a 12 pack of beer and a pregnancy test). She has called me to ask me why in the world teenage boys wear their pants so baggy that you can see their boxer shorts. She has called to ask me how big her hallway bulletin board is. She has called to tell me about how she almost had to take out the cashier at Micheal's who didn't want to give her the clearance prices on what she was buying. Twice. She has called to ask my opinion on any number of given purchases and to talk her out of some purchases that she didn't really need but that were a really good deal. Most recently I got about a dozen calls about rats. And I loved every one. But my favorite all time call came when she was out of town and called to tell me that she was on a morning walk and saw something that made her think of me. She sweetly told me all about the beautiful weather and scenery and I was wondering what had made her think of me. A flower? A butterfly? A cloud shaped like a heart? Then she told me. It was a used pregnancy test lying by the side of the road. (I was pregnant with Julianna.) I laughed so hard. And let me tell you, it's not good for a pregnant woman to laugh that hard.

I hesitate to write this next part because I know that she will totally take this as a challenge and try to stay on top of the weird phone call list, but I received a pretty weird call from my sister yesterday.

Me: Hello
Her: How do you spell hearse? You know like the car they carry dead people in.
Me: H-E-A-R-S-E
Her: Yep. That's it. (Apparently she was on the computer spell check or something.)
Me: Why do you want to know how to spell hearse? (She works at a bank.)
Her: We just wanted to know how it was spelled and no one here knew.
Me: Ummm, okay.
Her: I knew you'd know how to spell it.
Me: Yeah, you should read more vampire books and you'd know, too. (She has been teasing me about reading "Twilight.")

So, 1. I'm glad that I know how to spell hearse. 2. I love weird phone calls. And, 3. I can't wait for the phone to ring.

Ramblings

I got a glimpse last week of shopping for a girl. I went looking for some long sleeve shirts for Julianna and all I could find were tiny little shirts with silly sayings on them. "Social Butterfly," "Daddy is wrapped around my finger," "Mommy's Little Angel," "Future Heartbreaker," "Party Girl," "Little Republican," "Sucker Club," "Your crib or mine?" Okay, I made that last one up but the rest are true. I don't want a message on my 3 month old daughter's chest. I just want a cute little pink shirt. It can even have flowers or butterflies. Just not "Diva." (One that was kind of cute though said, "What happens at Grandma's house stays at Grandma's house.")

We made our annual visit to Silverwood Theme Park on Sunday. We thought we should go when it was going to be warm since the boys love the water rides. It was a perfect day for it, too. Adam and Arrty went on the Aftershock and loved it. Josh isn't a big fan of rollercoasters so he and I hit Thunder Canyon a few more times. The best part for me was hearing the boys laugh and laugh on the rides. We got very wet and had a great time.

Julianna stayed with my mom while we went to Silverwood and it was the longest I had ever been away from her. It was hard. I missed her a lot. But when I went to pick her up she snuggled up to me and seemed to give me the biggest hug. I know she's too young to actually give hugs, but it sure felt like it. It was super sweet.

I am totally hooked on the "Twilight" books. Thanks, Katrina! :) I went to the Hayden library to check out "Eclipse," the third in the series and am ninth on the list. NINTH?!?! So I went to the Athol library (yes, there is one) and am next on the list. Woo hoo! I can't wait to read it. And to see the movie in November!

Aidan, my nephew, asked me yesterday if I would trade Julianna for his baby. (My sister is expecting a baby girl in January.) I thought he just didn't want to wait any longer for his baby sister. But when I told my sister about it, she told me that he knows that he will only have to go to school half days once the baby comes since she will be home instead of all day like he does now. And I thought it was because Jules is so cute! :)

Homeschooling is still hard. But it's getting easier since I have decided to relax. We don't have to do every single lesson every single day and that makes it much easier on everyone. And the boys are ahead in some subjects, especially math, so we are able to get through those lessons faster. So for now we are going to take it easy and catch up if we need to when we're snowed in this winter. (Yesterday they went in for IRI testing (reading) and are both reading well above grade level.)

I won Phil's book give away! The only thing better than books is free books! :) Thanks, Phil.

Home

Okay, I have about 4 1/2 minutes to write my first post about homeschooling. So here it is. Homeschooling is hard. The curriculum is great. The program is great. Our teacher is great. But teaching the boys at home is hard. There are lots of distractions for them and me. There are lots of other things we could be doing. It's hard to have a set schedule with a 3 month old baby. But we're trying. And doing okay I think. The boys are learning and sometimes having fun. And they are also learning that everything isn't fun. Writing spelling words. Not so fun. Writing sentences. Not fun. Reading when the sun is shining and the yard (or Spongebob) is calling. Not fun. But they also like a lot of it. Science and art and anything hands on they love. Taking a break and going for a walk whenever we want. Fun. Reading to their baby sister. Fun. Helping me make cookies. Fun.

All in all it's been okay and getting better. They've cried and I've cried, but the tears are getting fewer. We've had days when we only did two lessons, but today we got through everything plus a few extras. And I am home. With my kids. And it is hard, but good.

Growing

With all of the sighing I did yesterday about missing the first day of school, I forgot to mention that it was also the day that Julianna turned 3 months old. I know! 3 months already. She is growing so fast. Too fast. She has found her hands and therefore always has a toy nearby. She still sleeps 7 to 8 hours at night and wakes up smiling. She laughed out loud for the first time on Monday when Josh was making silly noises to her. She no longer screams during bath time and actually seems to enjoy it. She likes to "talk" to us when we're talking to her. She likes to be carried around in the baby wrap and usually falls asleep against my chest which is wonderfully sweet. She is so cute that strangers stop me in the store to admire her. (I know that all mommies think their babies are cute, but Jules truly is super cute. I would love to post pictures, but decided at the beginning of blogging to not post pictures of the kids.) And she amazes me everyday.

So my little girl is 3 months old and is somehow, though it seems impossible, getting sweeter by the day.

September

Today is the first day of school. And although the boys and I have been homeschooling for the last week and a half, today still feels like it should be the first. It has been bittersweet, this day. I woke up this morning with my baby daughter beside me and looked at the clock. It was time that I should be getting up and getting ready to go, but instead I was able to linger just a little longer snuggled next to my baby because I had no where to go. At 8:00 I felt like I should be meeting with my co-teachers for the first prayer meeting of the year. But instead, I was praying by myself for the day, theirs and ours. I could be, on this day, meeting a new class of fresh faced kindergartners and turning my own children over to their teachers. But I am here. Guiding the boys in their learning, rocking my baby, and wondering just how the day is going at the school. How long did Mr. D. go over time in chapel? Did all the students get to where they were supposed to be? How did Katrina's first day go in her way-cuter-than-mine-ever-was classroom? How did Mom do with her new class of pre-schoolers? How was Aidan's day with his new teacher that could have been me? Did somebody have chocolate for Kathy?

Sigh. I miss it. I didn't think I would. And I love where I am. But it's going to take some getting used to, this staying home thing. It will get easier, I know. I just hope it happens quickly.