10 things about today...
1. I forgot it was Thursday. Today is the first day I've worked this week and it feels more like Monday than Thursday.
2. Chris at Bistro on Spruce didn't know what day it was either when I called to make dinner reservations for tonight. Me: "Do I need to make reservations for dinner tonight?" Chris: "Ummm, what day is it?" Turns out I did need to make reservations with Spamalot opening tonight and lots of people going out for dinner. I also got a thumbs up on the play from Chris who saw a preview last night.
3. We are having dinner at Bistro on Spruce (in case you missed that). I've never been there and always look forward to trying new local restaurants. I'll give a review tomorrow.
4. Then it's opening night of Spamalot (in case you missed that). It's supposed to be pretty funny. It's based on Monty Python's The Holy Grail. How can it not be funny?
5. At school today, a little boy killed a grasshopper "right in front of" Julianna. She was traumatized. She screams like a little girl when she sees some bugs, but apparently grasshoppers rank right up there with puppies for her.
6. I signed up a new student for my class next year. I'll be teaching a combined 4 and 5 year old kindergarten class. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm going to try some new techniques to get them reading and writing quicker and better.
7. I pulled out the 7th grade science book since I will also be teaching middle school math, science, and history in the afternoons. I'm planning to do lots of hands-on, interactive lessons and wanted to see what I have to work with. One topic I get to teach is insects. Maybe Jules can help.
8. It's absolutely amazing the mess 10 kids can make in a matter of seconds. And even more amazing that it takes them forever to clean it up.
9. I am finding it bittersweet that summer vacation is about to enter its final month. It means that school will be starting in just over a month (bitter)* but it also means that this summer school childcare situation is about to enter its final month (sweet).**
10. I wonder if Bistro on Spruce has fish and chips on their menu. I could really go for some fish and chips.
*School starting is only bitter because of the getting up and going to work every single day. I really love teaching and am so blessed to spend my days in the same building as my own children.
**I love teaching, but I don't so much love unstructured childcare. May sound weird, but they are two totally different jobs.
A wife, mom, and teacher's look at the world and the mostly good moments in life.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Lake Pend Orielle Adventure...In Pictures
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As soon as we got out of the car, Jules got into the water. She tucked her dress into her shorts and went for it. |
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Check out the view behind the swimming cutie. |
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More of the gorgeous view of the Blue Monarch Mountain Range. |
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Adam and Pappy discussing fishing plans. |
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Jules telling Grams a story. (Poor mom had carpel tunnel surgery last week. She's been one handed since. Funny, though. She does more one handed than most people do with two.) |
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Ahhh.... |
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Pappy took Jules and I on a boat ride Friday morning. She got to drive. She kind of loved it! |
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We saw this castle above the lake. It is crazy big and fancy. Who lives there? |
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View from the boat. |
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Jules fishing for the first time. Pappy is a great teacher! |
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The pole weighs as much as her, but she had to do it all by herself anyways. |
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Jules first catch!! |
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I saw this on the privately owned island in the middle of the lake. Dad told me it was how they said "no trespassing" in the days before printed signs. |
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The island from afar. |
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The island from up close. Can you imagine owning an island?! Even a small one. Too cool! |
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Again. Who builds this in North Idaho?! I would really love a tour! |
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Back to camp after the boat ride and fishing. Jules was looking for "special rocks." |
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Here are the "special rocks" she found at the boat launch. |
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And here are the "special rocks" she found by the dock. I'm pretty sure all of these came home with us. |
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The aftermath of the storm. Everything was soaked. Including the campers. |
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But mostly it was like this. Now where else can you see a view like this. And we get to live here! |
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Apparently collecting rocks is tiring work. |
Thursday, July 12, 2012
10 Things Thursday
10 things about my husband as we begin our 21st year together.
1. He DOES read my blog! He said last night, "So for 10 Things Thursday are you going to write 10 things about me?" Why, yes. Yes, I am.
2. He still surprises me. Every once in a while, he'll say or do something that I don't expect.
3. On the other hand, I often know what he's thinking before he does. A few weeks ago, he ordered honey mustard dressing on his salad. He hates mustard. But I knew he would order it that night. Weird.
4. After 20 years we can say one word and the other understands completely a whole conversation.
5. His dna + my dna = cute, smart, amazing kids.
6. He'll always choose vanilla.
7. He's loyal to everyone and especially to me.
8. He is a wizard when it comes to grilling ribs. Mmm...I'm going to the store to get ribs for dinner tonight.
9. He is competitive when it comes to games. And he's unfairly good at most of them.
10. He very well may be the only person in the whole wide world who could love me like he does.
1. He DOES read my blog! He said last night, "So for 10 Things Thursday are you going to write 10 things about me?" Why, yes. Yes, I am.
2. He still surprises me. Every once in a while, he'll say or do something that I don't expect.
3. On the other hand, I often know what he's thinking before he does. A few weeks ago, he ordered honey mustard dressing on his salad. He hates mustard. But I knew he would order it that night. Weird.
4. After 20 years we can say one word and the other understands completely a whole conversation.
5. His dna + my dna = cute, smart, amazing kids.
6. He'll always choose vanilla.
7. He's loyal to everyone and especially to me.
8. He is a wizard when it comes to grilling ribs. Mmm...I'm going to the store to get ribs for dinner tonight.
9. He is competitive when it comes to games. And he's unfairly good at most of them.
10. He very well may be the only person in the whole wide world who could love me like he does.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
A Girl and A Boy
Once upon a time there was a little girl with braids and a little boy on a bike. They were in the same class at school even though he was a year older. They played foursquare and tether ball. And dodge ball, but he never threw the ball at her. Then one day there was a note asking her to "go out" with him. Because that's what you called it in the early 80's. She checked the box next to "yes." Then there were puppy-love notes passed and shy smiles given, but very few words spoken between the two. For a long time this continued. Well, at least a long time in pre-teen time. Until one day there was a "break up" that she doesn't remember.
Then he went off to high school. And a year later she did, too, but to a different school. They crossed paths at church and occasionally went to the movies with the same bunch of kids. She still remembered the notes he had written her and wondered about him. And maybe he did the same. She had a crush on the football quarterback and the drama guy and that tall guy in science class. He went out with a girl or two from school. But there was still something there between them.
Then over Christmas vacation, they both went to a youth event and all the kids stayed up all night in the church building watching movies and playing games. And these two, this girl and this boy, talked a little. And the next day, he called her! For the first time ever! And she thought she'd die with nervousness and thought maybe he was a little nervous, too.
And so began their "going out" for a second time in their short lives. She rode next to him in his big, noisy, red truck. They went bowling and to the movies and out to eat fast food. And one night, as they stood on the front porch as he was leaving, he kissed her. And she wondered how she had made it sixteen and a half years without being kissed by him.
They finished school, she at hers and he at his. They worked. They started college. They talked on the phone about all the things that kids talk about. They went on dates. And after a while, they talked of the future.
In May of 1992, he took her to the movies and to eat at their favorite restaurant and for a walk on the boardwalk. And when they got to the middle of the boardwalk, he got down on one knee and, with the moon and stars above, asked the girl to marry him. She smiled and said, "yes."
With their parents' blessing, they planned a July wedding. It was long enough to wait for these two who had been sweethearts for as long as they could remember. So, in eleven weeks, they planned a wedding.
And on July 11th, 1992, the girl married the boy. They stood there, both in white, before their families and friends and made a promise that they had made to each other long before. And she knew it was right when he sweetly comforted her after hot wax dripped on her hand from the unity candle lighting. The day was perfect and they were happy.
For many years after, the two of them lived and worked and grew. They were young and in love and spent time together becoming for each other what neither knew was even possible.
Then after seven and a half years, their world changed. Another person entered their lives. A tiny little person that was half him and half her and wholly theirs. And they had to learn all over what this life was all about.
And a fourth person joined their family 19 months later. And yet another 7 years after that. And with each new person, the girl and boy learned and grew together.
But through it all, this life they lived, they remembered their promise to each other. They survived the poorer and sickness and rejoiced in the richer and health. They loved each other and worked together to honor that vow.
And today, 20 years later, they will rejoice once more as they celebrate that day that forever changed the lives of a girl and a boy.
Then he went off to high school. And a year later she did, too, but to a different school. They crossed paths at church and occasionally went to the movies with the same bunch of kids. She still remembered the notes he had written her and wondered about him. And maybe he did the same. She had a crush on the football quarterback and the drama guy and that tall guy in science class. He went out with a girl or two from school. But there was still something there between them.
Then over Christmas vacation, they both went to a youth event and all the kids stayed up all night in the church building watching movies and playing games. And these two, this girl and this boy, talked a little. And the next day, he called her! For the first time ever! And she thought she'd die with nervousness and thought maybe he was a little nervous, too.
And so began their "going out" for a second time in their short lives. She rode next to him in his big, noisy, red truck. They went bowling and to the movies and out to eat fast food. And one night, as they stood on the front porch as he was leaving, he kissed her. And she wondered how she had made it sixteen and a half years without being kissed by him.
They finished school, she at hers and he at his. They worked. They started college. They talked on the phone about all the things that kids talk about. They went on dates. And after a while, they talked of the future.
In May of 1992, he took her to the movies and to eat at their favorite restaurant and for a walk on the boardwalk. And when they got to the middle of the boardwalk, he got down on one knee and, with the moon and stars above, asked the girl to marry him. She smiled and said, "yes."
With their parents' blessing, they planned a July wedding. It was long enough to wait for these two who had been sweethearts for as long as they could remember. So, in eleven weeks, they planned a wedding.
And on July 11th, 1992, the girl married the boy. They stood there, both in white, before their families and friends and made a promise that they had made to each other long before. And she knew it was right when he sweetly comforted her after hot wax dripped on her hand from the unity candle lighting. The day was perfect and they were happy.
For many years after, the two of them lived and worked and grew. They were young and in love and spent time together becoming for each other what neither knew was even possible.
Then after seven and a half years, their world changed. Another person entered their lives. A tiny little person that was half him and half her and wholly theirs. And they had to learn all over what this life was all about.
And a fourth person joined their family 19 months later. And yet another 7 years after that. And with each new person, the girl and boy learned and grew together.
But through it all, this life they lived, they remembered their promise to each other. They survived the poorer and sickness and rejoiced in the richer and health. They loved each other and worked together to honor that vow.
And today, 20 years later, they will rejoice once more as they celebrate that day that forever changed the lives of a girl and a boy.
Thursday, July 05, 2012
10 Things Thursday
10 things about yesterday...
1. It was the 4th of July...Independence Day...America's birthday.
2. We hosted our 8th annual 4th of July BBQ Extravaganza.
3. It was full of food, fun, and friends.
4. Only two families besides ours attended...we totaled 16. But the ones who came are two of my favorite families ever!
5. We had all the all-American foods...hot dogs, watermelon, corn on the cob, and apple pie...plus a whole lot of other yummy stuff.
6. One family brought their visiting Chinese exchange students and one translator. But the kids discovered that there is no language barrier when it comes to water gun fights and Foosball!
7. Julianna wanted to know which "Chinese" they came from. "Is it the one where we go to eat noodles?" Ummm...no.
8. Apparently they don't have screen doors in China. Ours got walked through...twice.
9. I learned that you never know when the topic of "chicken diapers" will arise.
10. There's not much better than a fun day that ends with fireworks.
1. It was the 4th of July...Independence Day...America's birthday.
2. We hosted our 8th annual 4th of July BBQ Extravaganza.
3. It was full of food, fun, and friends.
4. Only two families besides ours attended...we totaled 16. But the ones who came are two of my favorite families ever!
5. We had all the all-American foods...hot dogs, watermelon, corn on the cob, and apple pie...plus a whole lot of other yummy stuff.
6. One family brought their visiting Chinese exchange students and one translator. But the kids discovered that there is no language barrier when it comes to water gun fights and Foosball!
7. Julianna wanted to know which "Chinese" they came from. "Is it the one where we go to eat noodles?" Ummm...no.
8. Apparently they don't have screen doors in China. Ours got walked through...twice.
9. I learned that you never know when the topic of "chicken diapers" will arise.
10. There's not much better than a fun day that ends with fireworks.
Friday, June 29, 2012
When Did This Happen?!
Last night I was driving Josh and Adam into town to my parents' house so that they could spend the night and go fishing early this morning with my dad. I've driven into town with them hundreds, even thousands, of times. And many of those within the last year or so with Josh in the front seat next to me. This trip was the same as all the others. Air on, music up, chatting mom and boys.
Then I looked to my right and had to stop myself from slamming on the brakes and pulling over to demand that the young man sitting next to me get out of my car. It was like looking at a stranger. All of a sudden, my little boy, my firstborn, my baby, is a young man. Instantly. Seriously. His face changed from one second of me looking at him, then to the road in front of me, then back. Instant change.
It brought tears to my eyes and took away my breath for a moment. When did this happen?! When?! How? Why? It's too soon. Way too soon. I remember noticing as all my children changed to kids from babies. Even Julianna in the last few months. But this. This change has caught me completely off guard. I have accused him of becoming a teenager a few months early. And have overlooked some of his moodiness that has come along with that.
But that face. That little boy face. The one that I've kissed every night for the past 12 years, 8 months, and 19 days has begun to disappear. It's becoming the face of a half grown adult. Stronger somehow. More mature. Grown.
And I'm not sure I like it. I'm not sure I hate it either. But I'm pretty sure I don't like it.
He's a handsome boy and has the nicest eyes and great hair. Which is nice...and scary as all get out. Because he kinda likes the girls. Always has. And they like him. Always have. And it's seriously causing me to have a panic attack. Really. Like right now, as I type, I'm breathing my way through one.
This wasn't supposed to happen so soon. This change for him...and for me. This whole growing up thing. I don't want it. I DON'T! I want to snuggle him on my lap and rub his hair and keep him there forever. I want him to call me mommy and need me to make his chocolate milk. I want him to stay little, stay little.
And yet, that young man sitting next to me in the car is kind of amazing. It's like a new friend. A new person to know and understand and love. One of those people that you feel like you've known forever, and yet are just getting to know.
In one way, I know him better than he knows himself. I know what he needs before he does. I know what he's going to say and do before he does it. But on the other hand, we're learning together, who this person is. This brown haired, blue eyed boy who is growing up. This boy who drives me crazy and amazes me in the same breath. The one who can both make my heart sing and infuriate me within minutes. The one who I had to bribe with five bucks to hold my hand for family pictures but then promised to kiss my cheek forever. Who is this person, and what has he done with my baby?
Wait. There. In his eyes. I can see it. It's him. It's my Yoshi. My sweet baby. My little boy. My young man.
Then I looked to my right and had to stop myself from slamming on the brakes and pulling over to demand that the young man sitting next to me get out of my car. It was like looking at a stranger. All of a sudden, my little boy, my firstborn, my baby, is a young man. Instantly. Seriously. His face changed from one second of me looking at him, then to the road in front of me, then back. Instant change.
It brought tears to my eyes and took away my breath for a moment. When did this happen?! When?! How? Why? It's too soon. Way too soon. I remember noticing as all my children changed to kids from babies. Even Julianna in the last few months. But this. This change has caught me completely off guard. I have accused him of becoming a teenager a few months early. And have overlooked some of his moodiness that has come along with that.
But that face. That little boy face. The one that I've kissed every night for the past 12 years, 8 months, and 19 days has begun to disappear. It's becoming the face of a half grown adult. Stronger somehow. More mature. Grown.
And I'm not sure I like it. I'm not sure I hate it either. But I'm pretty sure I don't like it.
He's a handsome boy and has the nicest eyes and great hair. Which is nice...and scary as all get out. Because he kinda likes the girls. Always has. And they like him. Always have. And it's seriously causing me to have a panic attack. Really. Like right now, as I type, I'm breathing my way through one.
This wasn't supposed to happen so soon. This change for him...and for me. This whole growing up thing. I don't want it. I DON'T! I want to snuggle him on my lap and rub his hair and keep him there forever. I want him to call me mommy and need me to make his chocolate milk. I want him to stay little, stay little.
And yet, that young man sitting next to me in the car is kind of amazing. It's like a new friend. A new person to know and understand and love. One of those people that you feel like you've known forever, and yet are just getting to know.
In one way, I know him better than he knows himself. I know what he needs before he does. I know what he's going to say and do before he does it. But on the other hand, we're learning together, who this person is. This brown haired, blue eyed boy who is growing up. This boy who drives me crazy and amazes me in the same breath. The one who can both make my heart sing and infuriate me within minutes. The one who I had to bribe with five bucks to hold my hand for family pictures but then promised to kiss my cheek forever. Who is this person, and what has he done with my baby?
Wait. There. In his eyes. I can see it. It's him. It's my Yoshi. My sweet baby. My little boy. My young man.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
10 Things Thursday
10 things I would do if I could go back to high school.
1. Study more and better. So that when I got to college, I wouldn't be rudely awakened and have to learn to study.
2. Sing more. Like High School Musical and Glee sing. Like break out in song in the halls and in the cafeteria and in the classroom sing. And have so much fun doing it that the other students and teachers joined in! (What?! That's what happens on tv!)
3. Be braver. Speak up and speak out. Stand up and stand out.
4. Wear a coat and boots. In the winter. Like a person with half a brain.
5. Join a team. Any team. Perferably something like volleyball or softball or chess. Okay, maybe not chess.
6. Make more friends. And not be afraid to make friends.
7. Write everything down. Everything. So I could look back when I'm old...like 40..and remember what it was like to be young.
8. Get a jacket to put my letter on. Even though I lettered in choir.
9. Attend more sporting events. And cheer like a crazy person.
10. Say thank you to my teachers. They deserved it when I was really there. And they would deserve it if I went back. Especially since I would be interrupting their classes everyday with my singing!
1. Study more and better. So that when I got to college, I wouldn't be rudely awakened and have to learn to study.
2. Sing more. Like High School Musical and Glee sing. Like break out in song in the halls and in the cafeteria and in the classroom sing. And have so much fun doing it that the other students and teachers joined in! (What?! That's what happens on tv!)
3. Be braver. Speak up and speak out. Stand up and stand out.
4. Wear a coat and boots. In the winter. Like a person with half a brain.
5. Join a team. Any team. Perferably something like volleyball or softball or chess. Okay, maybe not chess.
6. Make more friends. And not be afraid to make friends.
7. Write everything down. Everything. So I could look back when I'm old...like 40..and remember what it was like to be young.
8. Get a jacket to put my letter on. Even though I lettered in choir.
9. Attend more sporting events. And cheer like a crazy person.
10. Say thank you to my teachers. They deserved it when I was really there. And they would deserve it if I went back. Especially since I would be interrupting their classes everyday with my singing!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Stories
I've been thinking a lot about stories lately. I love a good story whether it's on pages, on a screen, or being told aloud. I can get lost in a good story and become so attached to the characters that they become part of me. The really good characters help me learn and grow and see something about myself. I can picture them in my imagination and take them with me when I move on to a new story. Like, if Katniss and Cassia and Katsa all worked together, they would be unstoppable! And certainly any one of them could take pre-vampire Bella and maybe even vampire Bella. But the thing about my favorite characters is that they are only interesting and only come alive because of their stories.
My favorite stories are true stories. Stories told to me about my ancestors. Stories told by my family and friends. Stories from history. And especially Bible stories. The story of a little boy who picks up a handful of stones and kills a giant. The story of a million people crossing the sea on dry land. The story of a reluctant queen who saves her people. Amazing stories! And what about those left untold. Can you imagine the stories Eve could tell? Or Mrs. Noah? Or Mary, mommy of Jesus? Oh, how I can't wait to hear those stories! As I read these stories given to us by God, I try to gather what He wants me to learn. What can I learn from the man in the belly of the whale or the sleeping apostles in the garden? The lovely, wonderful thing about Bible stories is that what I learned from those stories as a child is not what I will learn if I read them today and that's not what I'll learn in ten years. God's stories are everlasting and everchanging. Leading us to Him from whatever path we may be traveling. His stories have that power. And I think He allows other stories to do that, too.
One on screen story that I experienced recently was the story of the Hatfields and McCoys. I knew a lot of the story before watching the miniseries because I had done a presentation about the feud for a college class a few years ago. First let me say that I've seen pictures of Roseanne and Johnsy and they weren't nearly as pretty as they were in the movie. And secondly, I find it interesting that the Hatfield/McCoy feud was not the last, longest or bloodiest feud in the south. But the story! Fascinating! And hard to watch. All the hate and anger and senselessness. It made me consider forgiveness and the role it played in this story and all stories...including mine. I found it most interesting to watch the women in the story. The mothers especially. They wanted all the fighting to stop, but felt that they couldn't go against their men. Perhaps so true to the time. I couldn't help but to think of my great grandmothers. They all lived very close to where this story took place and could have very well known one or both families. And they most certainly were well aware of the story as it happened. What did they think? How did they feel? Did they take sides? Did they have to stand back and quietly watch as their men did things they didn't agree with? Were they as quietly submissive or were they able to speak out? See how this story on the small screen led me to part of my own story. A part that I so wish I could know.
A written story that I just lived was Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore. It's a story about a young queen who has taken over the kingdom after her evil, evil, EVIL father was killed. She must deal with the aftermath of a destroyed kingdom. Destroyed subjects. Crushing memories. She must find her own way to repair herself and those around her and still reign as queen the best way she can. It's fantasy and couldn't be farther from my life if it tried. But by the end I was thinking about how I, we all, must take our past and embrace it. Know it. Feel it. Let it be a part of us, while at the same time moving forward. There's a scene in the book where Queen Bitterblue is helped to see herself for who she has been and who she is. She sees in her mind the girl crying in her rooms over all that's been lost and the girl searching for the truth in her library and the girl running across the roofs of her city and she, the strongest part of her, the real her, embraces each of those girls and brings them all together to be who she really is now. That's what we all have to do.
I have to, I will, remember the little girl that I was. So painfully shy and afraid. So unable, or unwilling, to raise my hand in class. And the teenage me, still so shy and naive, still afraid. And the newly married me who still wanted to call my parents every time I went to the movies to tell them when I'd be home. And the new mom me who was terrified of doing something wrong. And the yesterday me who wondered if for the last 12 years I've done it all wrong. And I even have to embrace the today me. The one who should be doing dishes instead of writing but wants so, so badly just to write every minute of every day. Would I have looked back and told my 8 year old self that it was okay that I cried on my birthday or my 17 year old self to have no regrets if I hadn't met Bitterblue? Probably not. That's the power of stories.
So here's the truth of it. We all have stories. My story is not your story and your's isn't mine. And that's the glorious part. We can only live and tell our own stories. Our stories with our supporting cast of characters and our chase scenes and our bad guys and our trials and our triumphs. Our stories that are being written, by us and by God, today and everyday. Our stories that make us who we are and who we'll be to the end. Our stories to live. Our stories to tell.
My favorite stories are true stories. Stories told to me about my ancestors. Stories told by my family and friends. Stories from history. And especially Bible stories. The story of a little boy who picks up a handful of stones and kills a giant. The story of a million people crossing the sea on dry land. The story of a reluctant queen who saves her people. Amazing stories! And what about those left untold. Can you imagine the stories Eve could tell? Or Mrs. Noah? Or Mary, mommy of Jesus? Oh, how I can't wait to hear those stories! As I read these stories given to us by God, I try to gather what He wants me to learn. What can I learn from the man in the belly of the whale or the sleeping apostles in the garden? The lovely, wonderful thing about Bible stories is that what I learned from those stories as a child is not what I will learn if I read them today and that's not what I'll learn in ten years. God's stories are everlasting and everchanging. Leading us to Him from whatever path we may be traveling. His stories have that power. And I think He allows other stories to do that, too.
One on screen story that I experienced recently was the story of the Hatfields and McCoys. I knew a lot of the story before watching the miniseries because I had done a presentation about the feud for a college class a few years ago. First let me say that I've seen pictures of Roseanne and Johnsy and they weren't nearly as pretty as they were in the movie. And secondly, I find it interesting that the Hatfield/McCoy feud was not the last, longest or bloodiest feud in the south. But the story! Fascinating! And hard to watch. All the hate and anger and senselessness. It made me consider forgiveness and the role it played in this story and all stories...including mine. I found it most interesting to watch the women in the story. The mothers especially. They wanted all the fighting to stop, but felt that they couldn't go against their men. Perhaps so true to the time. I couldn't help but to think of my great grandmothers. They all lived very close to where this story took place and could have very well known one or both families. And they most certainly were well aware of the story as it happened. What did they think? How did they feel? Did they take sides? Did they have to stand back and quietly watch as their men did things they didn't agree with? Were they as quietly submissive or were they able to speak out? See how this story on the small screen led me to part of my own story. A part that I so wish I could know.
A written story that I just lived was Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore. It's a story about a young queen who has taken over the kingdom after her evil, evil, EVIL father was killed. She must deal with the aftermath of a destroyed kingdom. Destroyed subjects. Crushing memories. She must find her own way to repair herself and those around her and still reign as queen the best way she can. It's fantasy and couldn't be farther from my life if it tried. But by the end I was thinking about how I, we all, must take our past and embrace it. Know it. Feel it. Let it be a part of us, while at the same time moving forward. There's a scene in the book where Queen Bitterblue is helped to see herself for who she has been and who she is. She sees in her mind the girl crying in her rooms over all that's been lost and the girl searching for the truth in her library and the girl running across the roofs of her city and she, the strongest part of her, the real her, embraces each of those girls and brings them all together to be who she really is now. That's what we all have to do.
I have to, I will, remember the little girl that I was. So painfully shy and afraid. So unable, or unwilling, to raise my hand in class. And the teenage me, still so shy and naive, still afraid. And the newly married me who still wanted to call my parents every time I went to the movies to tell them when I'd be home. And the new mom me who was terrified of doing something wrong. And the yesterday me who wondered if for the last 12 years I've done it all wrong. And I even have to embrace the today me. The one who should be doing dishes instead of writing but wants so, so badly just to write every minute of every day. Would I have looked back and told my 8 year old self that it was okay that I cried on my birthday or my 17 year old self to have no regrets if I hadn't met Bitterblue? Probably not. That's the power of stories.
So here's the truth of it. We all have stories. My story is not your story and your's isn't mine. And that's the glorious part. We can only live and tell our own stories. Our stories with our supporting cast of characters and our chase scenes and our bad guys and our trials and our triumphs. Our stories that are being written, by us and by God, today and everyday. Our stories that make us who we are and who we'll be to the end. Our stories to live. Our stories to tell.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Chasing Butterflies
Chasing butterflies in our house means getting easily distracted. It comes from when Adam, the future entomologist, was little and would literally chase butterflies...or ladybugs...or ants...or whatever bug crossed his path. Even if it meant going in the wrong direction. I had to watch him every minute when we went on a walk. Or even when he was playing in the yard. He would be oblivious to everything but the little creature that had caught his attention. He still loves bugs, but has worked hard to learn to not chase butterflies in other areas of his life.
But today, I did a little butterfly chasing of my own. Literally. The boys have a summer job mowing our neighbor's lawn. Today was Adam's turn, but he'd never done it without Arrty nearby and wasn't quite ready to fly solo yet. So Julianna and I went over with him. We sat and talked and played and finally decided to see if we could catch some butterflies. (She was prepared with a net and bug box.) So off we went to see what we could find. Right away we saw a few, but they were fast. Faster than me, at least. I knew I'd have to kick up my butterfly catching game if I was going to catch any for my butterfly loving daughter. So the next time I saw one, I took off after it. I ran. I ran after a little butterfly through the tall grass with a net stretched out in front of me. All I saw was those little orange wings in the green grass with the blue sky above us. And guess what. I caught it! I caught that little butterfly. And it made me happy.
For one moment I wasn't a 40 year old mother of three who's been married almost 20 years. I was a little girl with a net running through the field chasing after a butterfly. There was nothing but me and the wind and the butterfly. Just for a moment. Then I turned around and saw my sweet little girl looking at the net and heard her say, "Mommy, did you get it?!" I smiled and was back. And was able to share my joy with her. This sweet girl who was the inspiration for the chasing in the first place.
We ended up catching one more, a blue one. And seeing at least five other kinds. We put flowers in the bug box with them and watched them with a magnifying glass. Fascinating and beautiful. Easily one of God's most perfect creations.
So today I chased butterflies. And I loved every minute of it.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
10 Things Thursday
10 things about my summer vacation.
1. It's only half vacation. It's half teaching day camp at our school.
2. It's filling up. I sat down with a calendar last night and wrote down some of what we have planned so far.
3. One thing is an Indians baseball game this Saturday. Julianna is the most excited about it. She can't wait to see...the mascots!
4. Another is summer theater. The first show is tonight and I can hardly wait until then. Hello, Dolly!
5. I have yet to make my chores-to-do list. I guess making a list should be the first thing on the list.
6. Josh and Adam are playing baseball this summer. With practices and games, that should keep us busy.
7. Whenever I ask Jules what she wants to do this summer, she says, "Catch butterflies!" A girl after my own heart.
8. I have a stack of about 50 books to read before fall. You think I'm exaggerating. I'm not.
9. Oh, another thing on the calendar is to see Brave. I am way more excited about this animated movie than I probably should be. But, c'mon, a red haired, blue eyed, Scottish heroine? Perfect.
10. But in spite of the part time work and the full calendar and the long to-do list, it's still SUMMER VACATION!
1. It's only half vacation. It's half teaching day camp at our school.
2. It's filling up. I sat down with a calendar last night and wrote down some of what we have planned so far.
3. One thing is an Indians baseball game this Saturday. Julianna is the most excited about it. She can't wait to see...the mascots!
4. Another is summer theater. The first show is tonight and I can hardly wait until then. Hello, Dolly!
5. I have yet to make my chores-to-do list. I guess making a list should be the first thing on the list.
6. Josh and Adam are playing baseball this summer. With practices and games, that should keep us busy.
7. Whenever I ask Jules what she wants to do this summer, she says, "Catch butterflies!" A girl after my own heart.
8. I have a stack of about 50 books to read before fall. You think I'm exaggerating. I'm not.
9. Oh, another thing on the calendar is to see Brave. I am way more excited about this animated movie than I probably should be. But, c'mon, a red haired, blue eyed, Scottish heroine? Perfect.
10. But in spite of the part time work and the full calendar and the long to-do list, it's still SUMMER VACATION!
Monday, June 11, 2012
New List
So you know I love to read. But saying just that I love to read seems like such an understatement. I LOOOOVE to read is a little better. I have a book with me at all times. If it's not in my hands, it's in my bag just waiting to be in my hands. Lately I've been reading a lot of young adult fiction. I like young adult lit because I don't have to wade through all the language and graphic scenes to get to the story. And the stories I've been finding are good...really good. I love a good story and one of the reasons why is because...
I am a writer. At heart if not in print (yet). I have all these stories floating around in my head just waiting for me to stop being afraid of them and pick up a pen. But until then...
I will read. I have discovered that reading the blogs of my favorite authors comes in a close second behind reading their books. They are writers after all, so their blogs are interesting and entertaining and often funny. And the only thing I love better than a good story is a true story. Blogs are true stories. And when you throw in good writing and people from whom I can learn how to write, it's even better. So over the last few weeks...
I have discovered Ally Condie's blog. She is the author of Matched and Crossed and Reached (to be released in November). She has a recurring blog post called "love right now" telling about things that, well, she loves right now. I may steal it.
Then there's Kristin Cashore's blog. She wrote Graceling, Fire, and Bitterblue. This blog is where I found this quote...
And last night I found Brodi Ashton. She is the author of Everneath. Which I haven't read but am on my way to get tonight simply because I laughed and cried and dreamed after reading some of her blog posts. How did I not know about her?!
Because of these lovely ladies and their wonderful blogs, I created a new list on my side bar called Author Blogs. Check them out. And watch for additions. Because there will be additions.
I am a writer. At heart if not in print (yet). I have all these stories floating around in my head just waiting for me to stop being afraid of them and pick up a pen. But until then...
I will read. I have discovered that reading the blogs of my favorite authors comes in a close second behind reading their books. They are writers after all, so their blogs are interesting and entertaining and often funny. And the only thing I love better than a good story is a true story. Blogs are true stories. And when you throw in good writing and people from whom I can learn how to write, it's even better. So over the last few weeks...
I have discovered Ally Condie's blog. She is the author of Matched and Crossed and Reached (to be released in November). She has a recurring blog post called "love right now" telling about things that, well, she loves right now. I may steal it.
Then there's Kristin Cashore's blog. She wrote Graceling, Fire, and Bitterblue. This blog is where I found this quote...
"Then, at last, sitting on her stretcher-bed, she took from the very bottom of her pack an old peacock-blue scarf folded around a heavy, square book. She unwrapped it and opened it very carefully, as if guilty secrets might fall from between its pages like pressed flowers. This was Harry's secret. She was a writer." -from The Tricksters, by Margaret Mahy
I knew after reading that, that this was somewhere I needed to be. And last night I found Brodi Ashton. She is the author of Everneath. Which I haven't read but am on my way to get tonight simply because I laughed and cried and dreamed after reading some of her blog posts. How did I not know about her?!
Because of these lovely ladies and their wonderful blogs, I created a new list on my side bar called Author Blogs. Check them out. And watch for additions. Because there will be additions.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Blessed Sunday
So, so many blessings!
Summer vacation
Healthy family
Successful school year
End of school year
Wonderful church family
Amazing extended family
Summer job
Love and laughter
Summer theater plans
Answered prayers
A promotion to a new, better, perfect job for Arrty!
God is good! So very good!
Saturday, June 02, 2012
Miss Julianna Turns 4
You'd think I'd be used to it by now. I've been through this twice. This growing up of my children. Josh will be 13 in a few months and is so, so close to being taller than me. Adam just turned 11 and is barely a half inch shorter than his brother. I know how fast it goes. I've seen it and felt it and watched it happen. In the blink of an eye.
But with my sweet daughter it's just so bitter sweet. She's my baby. My no doubt about it very last baby. And in the last month or so she has changed into a little girl right before my eyes. No more babies at my house. Sigh. That's okay, though. Because as much as I loved having babies, I adore having older kids. In the last few days, I've been able to plan a party with her. And believe me, she helped in the planning. She has some opinions, this daughter of mine. And she's not afraid to share them. We've been shopping and made invitations and picked out decorations. We've made cupcakes and frosted cupcakes and re-frosted cupcakes after she stuck her little fingers in half of them to sample the frosting. And it's been so much fun. Fun that we haven't had before.
So, yes. My baby is growing up way, way, way too fast. But the growing is so incredible to watch and be a part of. It's amazing that four years have passed so quickly and yet it seems like I've known Julianna forever. I can barely remember a day without this precious girl in my life. But maybe that's because I think she has been in my heart forever. God just waited until the perfect time to put her in my arms. And it was well worth the wait. She is funny and sweet and smart and so, so adorable. She is a gift and blessing in every way.
So happy, happy, happy 4th birthday, sweet Julianna. Mama loves you more than words can say.
But with my sweet daughter it's just so bitter sweet. She's my baby. My no doubt about it very last baby. And in the last month or so she has changed into a little girl right before my eyes. No more babies at my house. Sigh. That's okay, though. Because as much as I loved having babies, I adore having older kids. In the last few days, I've been able to plan a party with her. And believe me, she helped in the planning. She has some opinions, this daughter of mine. And she's not afraid to share them. We've been shopping and made invitations and picked out decorations. We've made cupcakes and frosted cupcakes and re-frosted cupcakes after she stuck her little fingers in half of them to sample the frosting. And it's been so much fun. Fun that we haven't had before.
So, yes. My baby is growing up way, way, way too fast. But the growing is so incredible to watch and be a part of. It's amazing that four years have passed so quickly and yet it seems like I've known Julianna forever. I can barely remember a day without this precious girl in my life. But maybe that's because I think she has been in my heart forever. God just waited until the perfect time to put her in my arms. And it was well worth the wait. She is funny and sweet and smart and so, so adorable. She is a gift and blessing in every way.
So happy, happy, happy 4th birthday, sweet Julianna. Mama loves you more than words can say.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
10 Things Thursday
10 of my favorite "words of the day" from www.mirriamwebster.com.
1. cachinnate: to laugh loudly or immoderately
The lady in front of us at the movies cachinnated through the whole thing, which was rather surprising considering it wasn't a comedy.
2. lunette: something that has the shape of a crescent or half-moon
The boy who threw the rock got in big trouble after it left a lunette bruise on his classmates forehead.
3. bon vivant: a person having cultivated, refined, and sociable tastes especially in respect to food or drink
Considering that my idea of fine dining is soup and salad at Olive Garden, it's no surprise that I've never been accused of being a bon vivant.
4. menagerie: a place where animals are kept and trained especially for exhibition
My kindergarten class is often turned into a menagerie on show and tell day.
5. agog: full of intense interest of excitement; eager
A forty year old mother of three should not be agog while waiting to see The Hunger Games.
6. tranche: a division or portion of a pool or whole
The huge watermelon will be doled out in tranches to the guests at the bar-b-que.
7. shanghai: to put by trickery into an undesirable position
I was shanghaied into teaching Bible class this summer because someone said, "I'll do it if Jen does."
8. hypnagogic: of, relating to, or occurring in the period of drowsiness immediately preceding sleep
Why is it that my best writing ideas occur while I'm hypnagogic and I have to get out of bed to write them down so I don't forget by morning?
9. argot: an often more or less secret vocabulary and idiom peculiar to a particular group
Part of the argot I share with my sister is the word "daugherty."
10.maffick: to celebrate with boisterous rejoicing and hilarious behavior
On June 7th at exactly 12:00, the CCS staff will maffick as the last student exits the building!
1. cachinnate: to laugh loudly or immoderately
The lady in front of us at the movies cachinnated through the whole thing, which was rather surprising considering it wasn't a comedy.
2. lunette: something that has the shape of a crescent or half-moon
The boy who threw the rock got in big trouble after it left a lunette bruise on his classmates forehead.
3. bon vivant: a person having cultivated, refined, and sociable tastes especially in respect to food or drink
Considering that my idea of fine dining is soup and salad at Olive Garden, it's no surprise that I've never been accused of being a bon vivant.
4. menagerie: a place where animals are kept and trained especially for exhibition
My kindergarten class is often turned into a menagerie on show and tell day.
5. agog: full of intense interest of excitement; eager
A forty year old mother of three should not be agog while waiting to see The Hunger Games.
6. tranche: a division or portion of a pool or whole
The huge watermelon will be doled out in tranches to the guests at the bar-b-que.
7. shanghai: to put by trickery into an undesirable position
I was shanghaied into teaching Bible class this summer because someone said, "I'll do it if Jen does."
8. hypnagogic: of, relating to, or occurring in the period of drowsiness immediately preceding sleep
Why is it that my best writing ideas occur while I'm hypnagogic and I have to get out of bed to write them down so I don't forget by morning?
9. argot: an often more or less secret vocabulary and idiom peculiar to a particular group
Part of the argot I share with my sister is the word "daugherty."
10.maffick: to celebrate with boisterous rejoicing and hilarious behavior
On June 7th at exactly 12:00, the CCS staff will maffick as the last student exits the building!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Adam's 11th Birthday
Adam has, from the day he was born, been the kid that I look at and wonder just where he came from. He was the most adorable baby with his blue, blue eyes and blond hair. So cute and sweet. An easy baby to care for and an even easier baby to love. He was a good eater and sleeper. His smile would, and does, light up a room. He has always been so charming and sweet and funny. But he can have a temper and we called him Jack-Jack when he was little because when he got mad he would turn red like that character from The Incredibles. He is wicked smart (can I get away with using wicked right there?) and hilariously funny and has been for as long as he's been able to talk. He's a thinker and continuously surprises me with his insight. He has a keen sense of right and wrong and the wrong sincerely bothers him whether it benefits him or not. He worries about me, sometimes too much, and cares about my feelings. He is silly and mischievous and excitable. He can be extremely quiet or extremely loud and is rarely anything in between. And all of that, and much more, is why I often wonder just where he came from. But I really don't need to wonder. Because I know. He came straight from above. He's just an amazing kid. And I'm blessed to call him my son.
Happy birthday, Adam D. Mama loves you more than words can say.
Happy birthday, Adam D. Mama loves you more than words can say.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
10 Things Thursday
10 things that make me happier than they probably should.
1. Free chai lattes. The free ones taste so much better than the ones I buy for myself or make at home.
2. A gift of flowers. I love flowers. Love them. But I, nor they, should be happy when I am in charge of them. I can kill a cactus. Can and have.
3. A brand new box of crayons. They are so perfect and lovely. I almost hate to let my students use them.
4. Clearance sales. I have to repeat to myself over and over, "Just because it's cheap doesn't mean you need it."
5. Clearance sales on things I'm actually shopping for. I found a great deal on a camera for Josh for his last birthday. It was what I was shopping for and I got a $200 camera for $40. And then a few weeks ago I found a $150 camera for $30 for Adam's birthday. I know! Happy!!
6. Reality tv. It's one of my guilty pleasures. Survivor, American Idol, Pawn Stars, Deadliest Catch...
7. Movie trailers. I pay $9 to see a movie and my favorite part is the trailers for movies I'll have to pay $9 to see later.
8. Comfy shoes. I haven't worn heels since 1991. And gladly so.
9. Someone else taking the garbage out. Anyone. Anyone at all.
10. A whole Diet Coke. A whole one. One that I don't have to share with anyone.
What makes you happier than it probably should?
1. Free chai lattes. The free ones taste so much better than the ones I buy for myself or make at home.
2. A gift of flowers. I love flowers. Love them. But I, nor they, should be happy when I am in charge of them. I can kill a cactus. Can and have.
3. A brand new box of crayons. They are so perfect and lovely. I almost hate to let my students use them.
4. Clearance sales. I have to repeat to myself over and over, "Just because it's cheap doesn't mean you need it."
5. Clearance sales on things I'm actually shopping for. I found a great deal on a camera for Josh for his last birthday. It was what I was shopping for and I got a $200 camera for $40. And then a few weeks ago I found a $150 camera for $30 for Adam's birthday. I know! Happy!!
6. Reality tv. It's one of my guilty pleasures. Survivor, American Idol, Pawn Stars, Deadliest Catch...
7. Movie trailers. I pay $9 to see a movie and my favorite part is the trailers for movies I'll have to pay $9 to see later.
8. Comfy shoes. I haven't worn heels since 1991. And gladly so.
9. Someone else taking the garbage out. Anyone. Anyone at all.
10. A whole Diet Coke. A whole one. One that I don't have to share with anyone.
What makes you happier than it probably should?
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mother's Day
This year Mother's Day was much like it's been the last few years. Lunch at Mom and Dad's with my family and my sister's family. The kids are bigger this year and the dad's are slightly wiser and the moms are a little grayer. (Well, at least I am, the only one who doesn't enhance my natural color.) But still, to sit around a table with the Delicious Dozen of our family is just as sweet as ever. If you know us, you know that there is a lot of laughter and stories and food...oh, the food. But to see us all together is more than all that. Twelve people. Three generations. Seven boys and five girls. All loving each other. It's kind of amazing. I hear about families that are estranged or don't see each other for whatever reason and can't imagine it. We all get along. We all support each other. We all share so much that sometimes it's too much. And all of that happens a midst cooking and cleaning and diaper changing and toddler tantrums and dirty hands and muddy feet and video games and go carts and hyper dogs and sibling/cousin spats and lots and lots of popsicles.
And yesterday was one more of those days spent with my two favorite moms in the whole wide world, their kids and mine, and the dads that made it possible. And really, what is Mother's Day about if it's not about watching kids play, eating food grilled by dads, and drinking Diet Coke while sitting on the porch swing in the shade on a sunny day? It was as close to perfect as it could get.
And I have to add that all of this is only possible because of my mom. Many years ago I realized that she is our rock. Our glue. Our north star. Without her we would not be who we are or where we are or what we are. She gave birth to my sister and I and I'm sure she would agree that that was the easy part. Through all of the ups and downs and trials and joys of all these years of mothering all these people, she still is, and will ever be, the very best of the very best. I adore her.
And yesterday was one more of those days spent with my two favorite moms in the whole wide world, their kids and mine, and the dads that made it possible. And really, what is Mother's Day about if it's not about watching kids play, eating food grilled by dads, and drinking Diet Coke while sitting on the porch swing in the shade on a sunny day? It was as close to perfect as it could get.
And I have to add that all of this is only possible because of my mom. Many years ago I realized that she is our rock. Our glue. Our north star. Without her we would not be who we are or where we are or what we are. She gave birth to my sister and I and I'm sure she would agree that that was the easy part. Through all of the ups and downs and trials and joys of all these years of mothering all these people, she still is, and will ever be, the very best of the very best. I adore her.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Wanna Hear A Ghost Story*
I know you do. So here it goes.
It was a dark and stormy night...or a bright and sunny morning. Whatever. The children and teachers were all gathered together in chapel listening quietly to the day's lesson...or wiggling and whispering and not listening at all. Whatever. The school administrator, Fearless Leader, was leading songs, sharing scripture, and telling ridiculous stories just like usual. All of a sudden he told the kids to turn around and look at the back of the auditorium to see the spirit reading the prayer cards covering the whole back of the room. Well, I assumed that it was more of his silliness. But I warned him he better be careful. Kids sometimes see things we don't. Just as I finished saying that, the little boy in the seat in front of me turned around and without hesitation and with big eyes, said, "I see his wings flapping!" My friend, and preschool teacher, Lynelle heard, too, and we looked at each other with surprise. I turned around quickly to see what he was talking about. I saw nothing. But have wondered ever since what he saw.
Fast forward to this morning. I asked Fearless Leader if he heard what the little boy had said that day. He said no, but went on to tell me the rest of the story. While standing in the front of the chapel, he noticed that the prayer cards taped to the wall in the back were fluttering as they hung on the wall. Moving enough that he noticed all the way across the huge room. It was weird, he said, since they hadn't done that before. He had stood in that same spot every single day with the same cards on the same wall for weeks and weeks. No fluttering. Until that day. "It must have been the fan or the heater vent," he suggested. "Or the flapping wings!" I countered. After chapel this morning I did a little investigation. There is only one vent anywhere close to the mysterious site. And it blows in the opposite direction. And the heat and fans are never on during that time of the day. It wasn't the fan or heat. It couldn't have been. It was the flapping wings. It was. I know it. I just wish I would have seen them, too.
*Okay, so it's more of an angel story. But isn't that better, anyway?
It was a dark and stormy night...or a bright and sunny morning. Whatever. The children and teachers were all gathered together in chapel listening quietly to the day's lesson...or wiggling and whispering and not listening at all. Whatever. The school administrator, Fearless Leader, was leading songs, sharing scripture, and telling ridiculous stories just like usual. All of a sudden he told the kids to turn around and look at the back of the auditorium to see the spirit reading the prayer cards covering the whole back of the room. Well, I assumed that it was more of his silliness. But I warned him he better be careful. Kids sometimes see things we don't. Just as I finished saying that, the little boy in the seat in front of me turned around and without hesitation and with big eyes, said, "I see his wings flapping!" My friend, and preschool teacher, Lynelle heard, too, and we looked at each other with surprise. I turned around quickly to see what he was talking about. I saw nothing. But have wondered ever since what he saw.
Fast forward to this morning. I asked Fearless Leader if he heard what the little boy had said that day. He said no, but went on to tell me the rest of the story. While standing in the front of the chapel, he noticed that the prayer cards taped to the wall in the back were fluttering as they hung on the wall. Moving enough that he noticed all the way across the huge room. It was weird, he said, since they hadn't done that before. He had stood in that same spot every single day with the same cards on the same wall for weeks and weeks. No fluttering. Until that day. "It must have been the fan or the heater vent," he suggested. "Or the flapping wings!" I countered. After chapel this morning I did a little investigation. There is only one vent anywhere close to the mysterious site. And it blows in the opposite direction. And the heat and fans are never on during that time of the day. It wasn't the fan or heat. It couldn't have been. It was the flapping wings. It was. I know it. I just wish I would have seen them, too.
*Okay, so it's more of an angel story. But isn't that better, anyway?
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Blessed Sunday
I was blessed to have a movie date with my favorite 12 year old today. He finished reading The Hunger Games last week, so I kept my promise to take him to see the movie. I don't know who was more excited, him or me. Even though I'd already seen it, it was like seeing it for the first time through his eyes. He surprisingly had some opinions about things they left out of the movie that he thought it needed from the book. What fun to share this book and movie with him.
On the way home from the movie, Josh requested Domino's pizza. I obliged (even though it's my least favorite pizza). After we picked up the pizza, he said, "Thanks for taking me to the movies...and for the pretzel and pop...and for the pizza...and for giving birth to me." Well, it's about time he thanked me for that!
On the way home from the movie, Josh requested Domino's pizza. I obliged (even though it's my least favorite pizza). After we picked up the pizza, he said, "Thanks for taking me to the movies...and for the pretzel and pop...and for the pizza...and for giving birth to me." Well, it's about time he thanked me for that!
Saturday, May 05, 2012
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