Saturday, June 13, 2009

3:36

I don't really have anything to say. I just wanted to post since it is now 3:36 AM. Julianna woke up about an hour ago coughing since she has a little cold and decided that it was time to play. She is now back in bed, but not sleeping and obviously neither am I. I'm off to rock her back to sleep. Hopefully. And get back to bed myself. I have an early morning meeting with Kathy...and the book man.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Friendship

Can I just say that I love my sister friends? They are the best. They make me laugh. They let me cry. They understand me like few others do. They know that what happens with sister friends, stays with sister friends.

Yesterday we spent the evening together celebrating Marci's birthday. As a change of pace from our usual dinner and a movie, she suggested that we go downtown and walk the Mudgy and Millie trail. We are always up for something new, so off we went. We read the book as we went starting with the oldest reading first and then continuing in order of descending age. I won't list the order, but I will say that I was next to last. :) So, there we were, five grown women standing on Tubbs Hill reading a children's book and then taking pictures with a moose statue. And loving every minute of it. We walked the whole trail without even cheating by walking through the baseball field. As part of that, we walked around the boardwalk where I mentioned that on the southwest point of the boardwalk is where Arrty proposed to me. Ahhh. I know. Very sweet. Well, if you know Marci, you know she loves a good story, so on her suggestion, we sat down at one of the little tables and all shared our proposal stories. By the way, we pretty much did whatever Marci said because it was her night. We even took our shoes off and waded in the lake. Which was cold. And wonderful!

The trail ends at Independence Point which is one of my favorite spots downtown. But the last few times I've been there it has been overrun with teenagers. Now, I'm a little afraid of teenagers. I often joke that I didn't even like teenagers when I was a teenager. I'm trying to like them more by getting involved with the youth group at church more, because as much as I try to deny it, my children are getting closer to that stage by the day. But I couldn't help thinking things like, "Didn't your mama teach you that if you wear a belt, people won't be able to see your underwear?" And, "Aren't you too young to be holding that girl's hand?" And, "Do you kiss your grandmother with that mouth?" And, "Do you know what that tattoo is going to look like when you're 50?" I thought of my own kids and sighed. And prayed.

After our walk, we were going to dinner. Because that's what we do. We had planned to go to a little coffee/sandwich shop that was having open mike night. But when we got there we found out that they stopped serving food at 4:00. So we went to The Beacon, a pub on Sherman, that none of us had ever been to. No one told us, however, that it was a sports bar and that the basketball finals were on. It was a little loud. Okay, it was a lot loud. I thought that we should cheer for the team that everyone else was cheering against, but it turned out that both teams had a pretty good group of fans. So we just ate our food (fish and chips for me) and drank our Diet Cokes (tea for Marci). And laughed. Because that's what we do. I have to admit though, that when the Lakers tied it up in the last few seconds of the game, our table of 30 and 40 something moms, cheered just as loudly as the 20 somethings that filled the rest of the room.

After dinner, we discussed dessert. Because that's what we do, too. Gooeys, 351, Chili's, Applebee's? Someone mentioned Blizzards at DQ. Which is what we decided on. Just so you know, DQ closes at 10:00. It was 9:25 when we got there. If you get there at 9:25 and the girl behind the counter has a too tight ponytail and no smile, be prepared for grouchy to be served with your ice cream. "Can we still get Blizzards?" "Uh, I guess. I was getting ready to clean the machines." "Okay, can I get a chocolate Heath Blizzard?" "SIGH." And so it continued for the other four of us. When I ordered I was especially friendly and overly nice. You know, heaping burning coals and all that. The ice cream was good, though.

It was a great night filled with laughter and fun, just like always. And so much better than sitting in a dark theater not being able to talk. Because, talking, well, that's what we do.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 of Julianna's nicknames. Yes, she has more than 10.

1. Jules
2. Julesie
3. Jujubee
4. Juje
5. Junebug
6. Juma
7. Snuggle Bug
8. Shnooka
9. Punkin
10. Angel girl

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Big 1


In case you missed it, Julianna turned one last week. On Saturday, we had a birthday party for her. It was lots of fun. Here are a few pictures.

The birthday girl eating lunch.

1st birthday cupcake. She wasn't so sure about it.

Jules wanted to share with Aunt Ada. Aunt Ada decided to get her own instead.

Getting ready to open the presents. I just wanted her to keep this little candle
headband on for a picture, but she ended up leaving it on for a long time.
Cute, huh?
It was a good time spent with family and friends. And Julianna was such a good girl during it all. But as soon as all her guests left, the birthday girl took a well deserved 2 hour nap. And her mommy took a well deserved 20 minute nap. So, until next year, happy birthday sweet girl.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 places I've been in the last week...

1. in the presence of greatness
2. at the slowest restaurant on the face of the earth
3. to Costco...twice
4. at the center of the universe
5. 900 feet underground in a gold mine
6. in the oldest standing building in Idaho
7. panning for gold
8. hiking on Tubbs Hill
9. to Stickman's house
10. at peace

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Happy Birthday, Julianna!

If you look at the ticker just to the left, you will see that my daughter, my sweet, funny, adorable, amazing daughter, is one year old today. One year ago she officially entered our world and it hasn't been the same since. She is a complete joy. She has been such an easy baby to care for. (Which was my deal with God, if you remember. "Okay, God, if you want me to have a baby at advanced maternal age, she better be an easy one." Yeah, that deal.) And she is so easy to love with all her cuteness and silliness and smiliness. So today, after one year of knowing her, I can't imagine my life without her. She has made my heart, and our family, complete.

In honor of her birthday, I'd like to tell you a little about Miss Julianna.


She is a dancer. Even when I was pregnant with her, I called her my little dancer. Josh was a kicker, Adam was a roller, and Jules was a dancer. Right after she could stand holding on to furniture, my mom asked her if she was going to dance. And she did! I didn't even know she knew that word. And now, whenever she hears music of any kind, she dances.

She loves buttons. Not the kind on the front of a shirt. But the kind on electronic devices. Buttons like you find on a remote or cell phone or dvd player or stereo. And she gets a little irked when she's not allowed to play with those buttons.

She is cute! And it's not just me. Since the day she was born, I have been getting stopped by perfect strangers to admire her in all her cuteness. People always comment on her eyes. They are big and blue and sparkly.

She is funny. She reminds me a lot of Adam. She loves to play and make people laugh. And she has that fun, silly, personality that charms the socks off all who know her.

She is active. She is only still when she sleeps. She loves to explore and move and play and does so all day long. (And sometimes at night.)


She speaks! She says mama, dada, hi, Adam, woof-woof, and meow. (But she only speaks when she feels like it. Not when I ask her to.)

She loves animals. She is fascinated by any kind of animals and loves to look outside at Jake and chase the cats (much to their chagrin). And she loves to hug her stuffed animals. It is sooo cute.

She loves books. Which I love. I'm hoping she'll be my book buddy since the boys would rather be, well, pretty much doing anything besides reading. I'm already saving some of my favorite books for her.

She is a gift. Not only that, she's the best kind of gift. You know when someone gives you something out of the blue that you didn't even know you needed but once you have it you use it everyday. Julianna is that kind of gift. I didn't even know I needed her. But now, after only a year of being her mommy, I don't think I could make it through the day without her.


So, today, as I think about the last year and smile with the memory of those early days, I will also look forward with great anticipation to those to come. Filled with even more love and laughter and wonderfulness with Julianna.

Happy birthday, baby girl. I love you.


Monday, June 01, 2009

Faith

I spent last weekend with some of my favorite people...my mom, my sister, my sister-friend Kathy...and Sandi Patty, Steven Curtis Chapman, Mandisa, Luci Swindoll, Patsy Clairemont, Marilyn Meberg, Sheila Walsh...and 7,000+ sisters in Christ. And I made some new friends. Like Lisa Whelchel (yes, Blair from the Facts Of Life), Henry Cloud, and Lenah Kavata (more on her to come).

You see, I spent the weekend at Women Of Faith. A conference for, well, women of faith. The first year I went was 2006. The Friday four days after my car accident. My back and neck and shoulders and heart hurt. I was scared to death to drive, so I rode with a friend. I didn't want to go...but I did want to go. By the first three notes of the very first worship song I was in tears. And not like quiet running down you cheek tears. Big, sobbing, wish I could sing but I can't tears. Because at that moment it hit me. I had been saved again. I felt His arms around me and remembered that I had felt the same thing four days earlier as my car flip-flopped off the road. So there I stood, with my body aching and my heart beginning to heal.

I've gone every year since and love it. Each year brings forth a different response. But no matter what the topic. No matter what I hear. I am inspired. Inspired to be a better person. And this year was certainly no different. Each person who spoke shared their story and how God was with them through their darkest hours. And even if my darkest hours seem like the middle of the day sun compared to theirs, my darkest hours seemed like midnight with no moon at all dark to me. And so I thought about those times and how now I can look back and see that there was always a glimmer of light. And I realize who that light was. And is.

Okay, now let me say that I want to sit on the porch. Every year that I go and see those amazing women sitting on the "porch" I want to be one of them. I want to travel around and inspire and touch other Christian women. I want to be a part of what is surely life changing for some. And I want to be friends with such an amazing group of sisters. Wait...I just realized that I have a porch. And I have some amazing sisters. Hmmm, stay tuned for more on that thought.

I was struck as usual at Women of Faith, by the goodness of God. Not only by the speakers, but by the mere fact that thousands of Christian women can sit for two days straight and do nothing but praise Him. And by the fact that He is there, working in the lives of each and every one. Wow. But this year, the most amazing and inspiring moment for me was seeing Steven Curtis Chapman perform. It's true that he is an amazing songwriter and performer. It's true that he does wonderful things for God's kingdom. It's true that he supports and advocates for adoptions of God's children. All these things are inspiring on their own. But what got me most was that even though a horrible accident one year ago took his baby girl, Maria, he was able to stand on that stage and sing of the glory of God. That, my friends, is a true testament to faith. And faithfulness.

So another Women of Faith has come and gone. But the wonderful thing is that it's not gone at all. I will ponder what I heard. I will use what I felt. I will move closer to my Lord because of two days of spending time with him. And 7,000 of his daughters.

And just so you are prepared, I have about 100 more posts about my weekend running through my head. Get ready...

Thursday, May 28, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 things I will do each day before I turn on the computer...

1. Pray
2. Read one chapter from the Bible
3. Kiss my husband
4. Hug my children
5. Read to Jules
6. Spend time outside
7. Clean one room of the house
8. Cross two things off my to do list
9. Drink at least two glasses of water
10. Eat at least one piece of fruit

This list came from the fact that over the last few weeks I have realized how much time I spend on the computer and it is entirely too much. Some of the things on this list have been getting neglected because of it. So each day I will do the 10 things on this list before I even turn the computer on. And I will limit my computer time. And have two days a week that I am unplugged with no computer. All things in moderation. Even blogging.

Numbers 6 and 8 on the list led to this today. My little rock garden.

There are flower seeds planted in the pots. Not just dirt. :)

And this one is for Marmie.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Cat Name Update

Last night, the boys had pretty much decided on Jack and Socks for the cat's names. Then Arrty mentioned that Jack sounds an awful lot like Jake, the dog's name. Adam agreed, so he started again to think of names since he had the job of naming the boy cat. This morning he asked me for ideas so I told him to think of book or movie characters that he liked and maybe that would help. Right away he thought of Luke (as in Skywalker). Then he said, "Luke and Leia. We should name them Luke and Leia!" I thought those names were perfect and told him so. He was very excited, but we still had to get the okay from the rest of the family. Arrty liked it, but Josh was reluctant. He was determined that the girl cat should be called Socks because she has white paws. We discussed it and he agreed, but not happily. I told him that we wanted everyone to be happy, so to just think it over. Arrty later reminded him that Luke and Leia in the Star Wars Movies were orphans and had to be adopted. Just like we had adopted the cats. Josh is very sentimental and family oriented and so that fact sealed it. He then happily agreed that Luke and Leia were perfect names.

So there you have it. Our cats are named Luke Jack and Leia Socks. (Yes, our cats have middle names.)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Today in the news...The demise of Moleville.

First, let me say that I am not a cat person. Frankly, I'm not an animal person. Don't get me wrong. I love, well at least like, Jake, our huge chocolate lab. He is sweet and loves the boys and barks when strangers come. I just don't want him to lick me. Or jump up on me. Or chew on my shoes. Or get hair all over the house. So Jake lives outside. He comes in some during the winter. But he is definitely an outdoor dog. And I tolerate the turtle who lives in the basement. He's quiet and doesn't eat much. And I don't even really mind the mealworms who are metamorphosing into darkling beetles in the hall closet or the snail and centipedes and caterpillars in bug boxes in the living room. And I even kind of like the minuscule sea monkeys just beginning to grow in their tank on my bookshelf.

But still, I'm not an animal person. And I especially don't like the moles who have taken over our yard. When the snow melted this spring, it was discovered that last year's moles were still around and had brought friends. Lots of friends. They had all begun transforming our yard into Moleville complete with malls and condos and trails leading to each other's houses. So we decided that we should get a cat to roam around outside and catch the moles. Or at least chase them to the neighbors' yards. We have been talking about it for weeks. So yesterday when Arrty got off work, I convinced him to take us to the local shelter. So we went in and there in cages, were all kinds of cats. Old cats, kittens, sleeping cats, active cats, friendly cats, hissing cats. Now, we have never owned a cat. So we had no idea about anything to do with them. I fully admit that the kittens were cute and the boys were instantly drawn to them. But I had to remind myself why we were there. For a mouser, not a lap cat. So I avoided the kittens and looked at the older cats.

There were a few that had signs that said "sensitive stomach." I didn't think they would be very fond of moles and mice. There were a few with signs that said, "caution." Not good for my animal loving children. So I looked for help. One of the ladies who worked there asked what we were looking for and I told her. She then took us to meet Ronnie. Ronnie is an 11 year old, big orange cat. He was owned by a family that she knew. The wife had died and the husband moved to Alaska and couldn't take Ronnie. He is an outdoor cat who had lived on a golf course. His story made me sad. To see him there in the cage probably missing his owners. But as much as I liked him, we still needed a mouser, not an old cat to lay on the porch. (If you want a cat, go get Ronnie. He needs a home.)

So we kept looking. As we walked down the aisle, Julianna was looking at all the cats and pointing and talking to them. When we got to one cage, she leaned in and was especially vocal. The cat in that cage came right over and put her paw up for Jules to touch. I was sold. She had sweet eyes and meowed quietly at us. So I asked the cat guy about her. He told us that she had come in as a kitten with her mother and 10 siblings. The price to adopt her was discounted which I took to mean that her time was almost up. There were two of her brothers left, too. One in the cage under her and one in the cage to the right. "Well," I told my reluctant husband, "If we get two, they would have company outside and could catch twice as many moles." He gave me "the look." But he looked at the brothers. One was gray and very hairy and kind of fat. The other looked much like his sister except with longer hair.

We looked some more. I went back to see Ronnie. Then back to the sister and brothers. Then back to Ronnie. Then to a few others. But we kept coming back to White Sox, the sister who liked Jules, and Yankees, the brother to the right. Arrty said that we couldn't get Yankees because, well, he was named Yankees. (The other brother was Astros. Apparently they had all been named after baseball teams.) But even with that name, Arrty seemed to like Yankees. "What should we do?" he asked me. "Well," I said, "we've been talking about it for a while. We might as well do it today." Mostly because I knew that the boys would be so disappointed if we didn't go home with a cat that day. So we made a decision. We were going to adopt White Sox and Yankees. The boys were thrilled. Even though they weren't cute little kittens. They were cats after all, and they've been wanting a cat for "years" as Josh said. So I went up to do paperwork and they got the cats ready to go complete with an identification chip.

It cost $42.50 each, reduced from the normal $65 fee. But taking into consideration that they have had all their shots, have been spayed/neutered, have the chip, and come with a free vet visit, that's a pretty good deal. Still, as I filled out the pages of paperwork, I thought, "Cats? Really? Cats?" But then, I saw the paper that said "adoption price reduced." And I got this warm feeling about saving these cats. Rescuing them after 11 months of being in the shelter. I admit that it felt good. So good, in fact, that I felt bad about not taking home more pets. Like Ronnie. Or the other brother. Or the cute little black lab puppies in the next room. But two cats was already more than we had planned on.

So we came home last night with two cats. So far they have mostly hidden under chairs. But I keep reminding the boys, and myself, that it must be hard for them to leave the only life they've ever known. To move into a house with people. To not being in a cage surrounded by other cats and barking dogs. We'll give them a few days and hopefully they'll love us as much as we, yes, I said "we," love them.

So, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to our family mousers.



And to keep with family tradition, they do not have names yet. It's down to these options. Bonnie and Clyde, Fred and Ginger, Jack and Jill, or Jack and Socks. The boys get to pick and they are leaning toward Jack and Socks.

I never thought I'd be an animal advocate, but if you are thinking of getting a pet, please visit your local shelter. There are so many animals who need good homes. And if you live in North Idaho... GO GET RONNIE!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

10 Things Thursday

The last 10 songs heard on our cd player...

1. Don't Stop Believin'--Journey
2. Does Your Mother Know--Mamma Mia soundtrack (Christine Baranski)
3. Big Ol' Truck--Toby Keith
4. Holy, Holy, Holy--Mark Tindle (mountain dulcimer)
5. In The City--Eagles
6. We'll Burn That Bridge--Brooks and Dunn
7. The Difference--Rescue
8. Again--Brooks and Dunn
9. Can't Get This Stuff No More--Van Halen
10. Winter--Antonio Vivaldi

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Busy Bees

This past weekend was a busy one. Very busy. Here's what happened.

Friday morning I made breakfast for the family (eggs, English muffins, bacon, sausage, strawberries). Then I frosted 20 cupcakes and finished gathering birthday party stuff. Then I got myself and all the kids bathed, dressed, and ready to head in to town. And wrapped two of Adam's birthday presents. And cleaned the kitchen. And then it was time for lunch. Fed the family lunch (leftover Chinese food). Skipped lunch myself to finish getting ready. Cleaned the kitchen--again. Loaded the van and headed into town.

Friday afternoon we dropped off the lemon bars that I had made for the school auction and while we were there, I laminated the Pokemon bingo cards for the birthday party. Then we went to the park to set up for the party. When people started arriving, the kids played on the playground until everyone got there. Then we played a few games, ate cupcakes, and watched Adam open his gifts. Then some more playground time. I love park parties because there is very little clean up. And the kids have a great time. The weather was good, too, which was great. A little breezy, but warm enough. Which was good, because last October at Josh's party we all froze. Which is not as fun.

Pokemon cupcakes Party fun.Make a wish!

After the party, we went directly back to the school for the auction. We ate dinner (fish and chips) and started checking out the silent auction stuff. They had tons of great stuff. Josh spotted a sports basket right away and asked me to bid on it. (Actually, he asked me what our number was so that he could bid on it. I knew that could be trouble, so I had to set some bidding ground rules. Rule #1--ask mom first.) Adam found two toy dragons that he liked and asked me to bid on them. So I bid on those two things along with a few others, but auctions make me a little nervous with all the outbidding and rebidding. Luckily there wasn't too much of that going on with the items I was bidding on. Here's what we went home with. The sports basket for Josh, the dragons for Adam, a polar bear basket for Jules, a box of sugar cookies (which I unknowingly outbid my sister on but shared with her later), two movie tickets, a Mexican food gift card and free babysitting for me, and a certificate for working with the fish and game department to catch, tag and release ducks and other water fowl (thanks to Adam and Ada). The auction was a success for the school and fun for everyone there. We got home that night at about 10:00pm.

Mirror Lake

Saturday was the day of the First Annual Family Fishing Derby. The boys had gone home with mom on Friday night and they had all headed up to Mirror Lake early to get a head start on the fishing. Pappy, Grandma, Josh, Adam, and Aidan had caught 6 fish by the time me, Arrty, Julianna, Ada, Adam, and Abby got there at lunch time. We ate sandwiches and chips and Gogurts and string cheese and strawberries and sugar cookies. The boys looked for snakes and frogs and turtles, but only found turtles. We laughed the first of the many laughs of the day. Ada, Adam, and Aidan then decided to take the boat out to try their hand at fishing. After a while they came back with a sleeping boy and a picture of one fish. (Not the real thing because that would have meant that Ada with her sleeping cutie, would have had to get off the live well to put it in.) Then it was my boys' turn to fish. To be fair, they were out on the lake much longer than anyone else. And they were all three fishing. And Josh could happily fish all day from dawn to dusk. So, they came back with the six fish caught earlier in the day and 13 more. So, we were the winners of the Family Fishing Derby 2009. (I hear next year there are going to be tee shirts.)

Mirror Lake is where they filmed part of the movie Dante's Peak. They built this cabin for the movie and then gave it to the lady who owns the property and still lives there.

Pappy and Abby

And since my sister handed out her own awards, I thought I would do the same.

Best catchphrase--Pappy (all you need to know is that it started out, "hoochie coo, hoochie coo."
Best future use of catchphrase--Adam R.
Funniest without meaning to be--Grandma
Stickman in the making--Arrty
Most determined fisherman--Josh
Best fisherman without really trying--Adam D
Best reading material that never got read--Jen (so what if I like vampire books)
Best heart attack inducing moment--Ada
Best nap of which the rest of us were jealous--Aidan
Cutest legs ever--Abby
Best at staying awake even though she really needed a nap--Jules

And a special award goes to Pappy for being the Memory Maker Extraordinaire

Catch of the day!

Julianna was here.

We got home that evening at about 6:00. The boys cleaned the fish while I put the picnic stuff away. Then I fried the fish and they ate the fish. Then I cleaned the kitchen and got Julianna ready for bed and the boys showered and ready for bed. Then I sat down on the couch and sighed. And watched SNL that we had dvred.

Sunday was Sunday with church and lunch at KFC. (Free dinners for all of us. I love free stuff.) We then went over to mom and dad's to pick up Adam's new gorilla Webkinz that he had left there the day before. Which had led to tears the night before. They were working in the garden and invited the boys to stay and help. Which they readily agreed to. They love working in the garden. I think it's mostly because it's actually more like playing in dirt. We picked them up Sunday evening and went back to church for a showing of the movie Fireproof. We had seen it before, but wanted to go anyway to support others. We got home a little after 8:00 to turn on the tv and see that we were missing the season finale of Survivor. Luckily the dvr caught it and was recording. So we stayed up until after 11:00 watching that. I love it when the person I want to win wins.

Then all of a sudden it was Monday. I gave the boys the day off from school for Adam's birthday. Then we took him to dinner at Red Lobster (his choice). He had snow crab legs. They sang Happy Birthday to him and gave him a caramel sundae complete with a candle. I think he loved the attention even though he pretended not to.

The birthday boy.

Mmmm. Crab legs.

Julianna knows the camera has buttons. And she loves buttons.


So it was a busy weekend (and Monday). Busy, but wonderfully so. It made me look forward to lots of other summer weekends full of family and fun.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Happy Birthday, Adam D



Today my baby turns 8. When I called him my baby yesterday, he reminded me that he isn't a baby. And I know that. But then I informed him that he will always be my baby. Even when he has his own babies, he will still be my baby. So today my middle baby turns 8.

I remember like it was yesterday the day he was born. His delivery was scheduled so I slept some the night before, got up and took a shower, and headed to the hospital feeling nothing by excited to meet my new son. We were checked in at about 5:30 am and he was born at 7:50. The first thing I asked after they said, "He's out," is, "Does he have hair?" Not, "Does he have all his fingers and toes?" Not, "Is he okay?" But, "Does he have hair?" Arrty said that he did. But when I finally got to see the top of his tiny little head, he didn't. At least not a lot. Just some very blond fuzz. No hair.

I fell in love with him the moment I saw his blue eyes and sweet pink cheeks. (Actually I had been falling in love with him for nine months.) Those first few days with him in the hospital were amazing. He was so little and cuter than cute. He slept and ate. And slept and ate. He liked to eat. One of my very favorite memories with Adam came in those first days. I was nursing him when all of a sudden, he froze. I looked down at him and his eyes were huge. Then all of a sudden he started nursing faster. My milk had come in that very moment and he seemed happily surprised. The look on his face is something I will never forget.

Since that first day, this little person has grown to be almost as tall as me. He has made me laugh more than anyone else. He has made me wonder where in the world he came from and how I got that kid. You know. The kid who is silly beyond measure. Who loves fun more than anything. Who can go from laughing to crying in a mere instant. Adam is unexplainable. I can tell you that he is generous. He is a mediator. He is a thinker. He loves his family. He is very smart and very, very funny. He is, and always has been, cute as a button. But he is also someone who you have to know to even begin to understand. And if you do know him, you are blessed. And I am extremely blessed to be his mom.

So today, on his 8th birthday, I am going to watch him and smile and remember all the days leading up to this day. And look forward to all the days to come.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 (of the bazillion) things on my list to do today...

1. teach school to the boys...
2. ...while trying to keep up with Miss Julianna who has begun taking steps!!!
3. make 2 batches of lemon bars for the school auction
4. artistically arrange those lemon bars on pretty plates so that they sell for a million bucks
5. make cupcakes for Adam's birthday party which is tomorrow
6. decorate cupcakes to look like Pokeballs
7. gather all the stuff for the party which is at the park
8. cook a turkey that has been thawing in my fridge
9. then make hot turkey sandwiches for dinner
10. watch the 2 hour season finale of Grey's Anatomy

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama. You are supposed to write about things that you did NOT do (but you totally did) over the last week.

It was NOT ME who bought six really cool baskets at Sears that I really don't need but bought anyway because they were on clearance. (Who can pass up a $15 basket for only $2.50?!?!)

And it was not me who then went back the next day to buy two more baskets for my mom and sister for mother's day instead of giving them the ones I had already bought.

It was not me who suggested that since we were 15 minutes late for Bible class that we skip it and go to the park instead. And then it was not me who forgot a disk for my camera and had to run into Target before church to get one and made us get there just in the nick of time anyway.

It was not me who judged other mothers for the behavior of their daughters at an event I attended. I would never judge other mothers. No, not me. But if Julianna ever acts like that, I'll...

It was not me who let my sons have McDonald's ice cream cones for lunch on Saturday. Furthermore, it was not me who ate one, too.

It is not me who didn't yet tell the boys that we aren't homeschooling next year. Because it's not me who is afraid they will declare mutiny. And because it's not me who is dreading leaving my sweet daughter for only a few hours each day even though she will be with my sister and equally sweet niece.

It's not me who scheduled Adam and Julianna's birthday parties after declaring to my husband that I was planning them without trying to consult everyone about when they would be able to come like I did last year which did not cause me a huge headache. And it's not me who now feels guilty because some people can't make it to Julianna's very first birthday party.

And last, but not least, it was not me who let my adorable daughter crawl around wearing her pajamas like a cape because she wouldn't sit still long enough for me to get them all the way on. And then it was not me who laughed at her when she got her pajama leg stuck on the foot rest handle of the lazy boy when she tried to crawl between it and the end table. And I would never ever consider putting her back in that uncomfortable spot just so that I could take a picture. Nope, NOT ME!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. As I sat in the park this afternoon with my mom, and my sister who is a mom, watching our kids play in the sunshine, I couldn't imagine anywhere I'd rather be. Or any blessing greater than being a mom. I was thinking about how I was never one of those girls who planned my family and picked out names for my children. (Which is good, otherwise my children would be Fonzie, Richie, and Pinky Tuscadaro.) I was married for six years before I even thought of having kids. When I was pregnant, I was thrilled and loved every minute of it. Well, almost every minute. Then I was pregnant again and had two babies. And I loved that. Then all of a sudden I had two school aged boys. And I loved that. Then, out of the blue, I had another baby in my heart. And then in my belly. And then in my arms. And today she crawled around on a blanket in the park and walked around and around me holding on to my shirt and danced to the music being played by the orchestra. And as I took pictures of her sweet face and the sweet faces of my sons and my nephew and my niece, I thought of what a blessing they each were today. And the blessings they will be in all the years to come.


And in honor of Mother's Day, I thought I would introduce you to the ones who call me "mommy."

This is Josh.
And this is Adam. And this is Julianna.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

10 Things Thursday

Ten reasons why I'm getting a new microwave today...

1. The old one quit working yesterday. (It's only the second one I've worn out in 16 years of marriage.)

2. I am having to reheat things in the oven which takes so much longer.

3. Adam thought that we could only eat cold food from now on.

4. I never remember to thaw things ahead of time and always have to use auto defrost.

5. I had to make the kid's quesadillas on the stove last night and burnt the first one. That never happens in the microwave.

6. Even though I darned socks last week, I'm not so good at channeling my inner Caroline Ingalls by having to cook the old fashioned way. (I know, I know. My flat topped stove and self cleaning oven are not the old fashioned way, but you get the point.)

7. You never know when you might have to suddenly heat up leftover pizza.

8. Someone else in the family might want seconds at dinner after I've already put the food away and he'll refuse to let me use the oven to heat it up. (Not naming any names.)

9. So that I can remind Arrty yet again that, "If it involves heat, it IS cooking."

10. Microwave popcorn. Enough said.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Aha!

Things I've learned today...

Julianna thinks that when she is done eating, her leftovers go on the floor.

Little chunks of banana hitting the floor make more noise than you'd think.

The diaper I changed this morning was worse than the one daddy said was the worst one he'd ever seen...according to Adam.

Two little boys who are homeschooled will work twice as hard when they aren't allowed to watch tv, go outside, or play video games until school is done. (It only took me 147 days to learn this.)

You can bid on something on ebay and be instantly outbid. Don't these people have jobs?!?!

Julianna likes ketchup. Especially when she finds it on Adam's plate after lunch and no one notices her little hands in it until it's all over her, the floor, and daddy's chair.

Ketchup is hard to clean off daddy's chair.

You can reheat mac and cheese in the oven...when you have to because your microwave IS NOT working.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The More, The Merrier!

Yesterday I had three new commenters on my post. It was really exciting to know that I had new people stopping by my blog thanks to Not Me Monday. So, this morning I went to my stat counter to see how many people had visited yesterday. The answer...153. One hundred fifty three!! That easily triples my previous highest number of daily visitors! Now I know that there are bloggers, even some I know, who get that many every hour or minute, but to me 153 is very exciting. Now I just hope a few of them keep coming over.

In other news, Happy Cinco de Mayo. Which means, to this Irish girl, that we are eating Mexican food at family dinner tonight. And it means that I am attempting to make enchiladas to contribute to said dinner for the very first time today. Wish me luck. Or maybe you should wish my family luck. They'll be the ones eating them. :)

Monday, May 04, 2009

Not Me Monday

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama and I've wanted to do it for a long time but have never tried it. You are supposed to write about things that you did NOT do (but you totally did) over the last week. So here goes my first attempt.

I did NOT make sloppy joes this week for the very first time in almost 17 years of marriage. And my family did NOT love them.

I did NOT spend my time in Bible class yesterday making a list of possible blog ideas. And the whole list of ideas did NOT revolve around my children.

I did NOT take a nap yesterday afternoon instead of cleaning the kitchen. And I then did NOT spend the rest of the afternoon playing with my kids and still not clean the kitchen.

I did NOT venture for my first ever visit to ebay on Saturday and then spend 2 hours looking for Pokemon stuff for Adam's upcoming birthday.

I did NOT then spend another hour on the computer playing Chuzzle and Zuma.

I did NOT rock Julianna to sleep in the cry room at church and then, instead of going back in to listen to the sermon, sit there with my chin resting on her little head enjoying the feeling of my almost one year old snuggled on my lap.

I did NOT let Julianna pull a dozen wipes from the pack and I certainly did NOT then let her play with them for a lot longer than I thought she would. And there's is NO way that I then put one on my head and let her pull it off over and over and over just to hear her giggle.

I did NOT let the boys go fishing with their Pappy on Friday instead of doing school and I did NOT try to figure out what I could count that for in their curriculum. So of course, I did NOT give them an hour of science time for said fishing trip.

I did NOT buy People magazine just because it was the 100 most beautiful people issue. And I did NOT wonder how Jane Doe* made it into the issue. (*Name changed to protect the innocent.)

I did NOT, nor would I ever, let Julianna taste my Diet Coke. (Settle down, it was just a tiny taste and to be honest, I think she backwashed. That'll teach me.)

Share your own "not me" in the comments if you want. Or...

You can participate in Not Me Monday on your blog. Just follow the link to MckMama to find out how.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

11 and counting

If you notice on Julianna's birthday countdown ticker to the left, she is 11 months old today. Which means a few things.

One, she's almost a year old! For almost a year I have had a daughter. I have watched her change from this tiny little stranger into a sweet, funny, active, baby who I feel like I've known forever.

Two, she's on the move. She is starting more and more to let go of the furniture or her brothers and stand on her own for a few seconds or take an unaided step toward me.

Three, I haven't taken nearly enough pictures of her. There are lots, but is there really ever enough?

Four, I need to make some hair decisions for her. Bangs or none? Part or no part? Short or long? I need help here. I never had this problem with the boys.

Five, I have officially decided to give up on her ever using a pacifier. I have tried every kind they make and she just swings it around or hits it on things or chews on the wrong side or throws it behind her crib. At least I won't have to worry about getting rid of it.

Six, I need to start letting her feed herself with a spoon. She prefers finger foods that she can eat by herself, but eventually, like by her first date, she will need to know how to properly use silverware.

Seven, it's time to go through her clothes again to see what she's outgrown. Hopefully she can wear the especially cute outfits one more time.

Eight, birthday party details need to be completed so that I can begin the task of preparation for the all important first birthday.

Nine, I really have to find what I want to get her for her birthday online since I can't find it in town. It's one of those dolls with the button and zipper and shoe to tie. You know the one. Oh, and don't tell her what she's getting. :)

Ten, she is starting to talk. She says "mama" and "dada" and "Mother, could you please ask your sons to refrain from exasperating me." Okay, she really doesn't say the last one, but you know she thinks it!

And eleven, Julianna being 11 months old means that time is going too fast. Just way too fast.

Friday, May 01, 2009

10 Things...Friday

10 things that made me smile yesterday...

1. Julianna reaching her little arms for me when I went to get her out of her crib first thing in the morning
2. Josh saying, "Thanks for teaching me how to make scrambled eggs, mom."
3. Adam reading 120 words per minute when the highest scale for his grade level is 92 words per minute.
4. my dad's email about his new birthday socks
5. sunshine
6. Jason Mraz songs
7. seeing a 12 year old girl wearing two different color shoes...on purpose
8. being told by perfect strangers how beautiful my daughter is
9. tiny, little jeans with butterflies embroidered on the pocket
10. Mallo Cups

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Make A Wish

A few days ago I mentioned the birthday card I got from Don Johnson. It was 1986. Just at the height of Miami Vice mania. I watched that show every week and had a huge crush on the star. I loved his pink shirts and rolled up jacket sleeves and loafers with no socks. I loved his fast cars and even faster boats. I loved that he had a pet alligator. He was cool. Very cool. Well, very cool in 1986. I even bought his record when it came out.

That year I was turning 14. We had moved away from all of our extended family and when my birthday came and went without even a card from anyone, I was disappointed. I told mom and dad this. But what could they do? Call grandma and ask her where my card was? So I resigned myself that I was out of sight, out of mind. Oh, well.

But a few days later I got three cards in the mail. I don't remember if there was any money in them. It's obviously long gone if there was. (Probably spent on the Don Johnson record.) But I still have the cards. The first was from my grandma and grandpa complete with gram's shaky handwriting. The second was signed by all my aunts, uncles and cousins. There was even little messages from each one saying just what they would say if I saw them. And the third, oh my goodness, the third was from DON JOHNSON. How did he know it was my birthday? How did he know my address? What was I going to wear on our first date?!?! I remember being so excited. Not just about the Don Johnson card, but about all three.

I'm not sure how long it took me to figure out that the cards, all three, were sent by my dad. He had gotten three cards and taken the time to sign each one. He even disguised his handwriting and used different color pens. He had addressed them and stamped them and mailed them. At the time, once I realized what had happened, I thought that what he had done was such a nice thing. He cared that I was disappointed and did what he could to fix it. And now, after all these years, I still have those cards. Not because of whose names are on them, but because of who really sent them. And because of the love behind them. What he did was so amazing and wonderful. Those cards represent 37 years of all the things dad has done for me to make me smile and encourage me and heal my broken heart. 37 birthdays that he has wished me happy birthday in ways that no one else could. And even more than that, it was just one example of thousands that I've gotten from him of how to love my own children. One of these days, when Josh or Adam or Julianna are hurting, maybe I'll remember those three cards, that simple, sweet act, and do something for them that they will remember always like I remember this.

So, yes, I got a birthday card from Don Johnson. I couldn't sell it for the autograph, though. Not because it's not real, but because it is priceless.

Thanks, dad. And happy birthday. I love you.

Friday, April 24, 2009

And the winners are...

I feel like I should tell you before I announce the winners of my amazing Avon giveaway, that I have mastered the skill of rigging drawings. I acquired this useful talent over my years of being an elementary school teacher. There are some things that need to be manipulated just the tiniest bit. For example, my second year of teaching I had a hamster for a class pet. She was a sweet little tan and white teddy bear hamster named Madeleine. At the end of the year I decided to give her to one of my students. So I told them that if they brought a note from their parents, I would put their names in a drawing to win Madeleine. The next day, three of the boys in my second grade class brought in their notes. Now I knew that if she went home with two of them, poor Madeleine only had a slim chance of surviving the night. But the other one I completely trusted to take care of her. So, when it came time to get ready for the drawing, I wrote especially hard when I wrote his name so that I could feel the indentations through the paper. And surprise, surprise, he won! He got to take Madeleine home with him.*


Over the years, I have used this skill a few more times when it was called for. But I want you to know that this drawing is totally legit. I am pretty sure that you can all adequately care for lotion and lip balm. :) And to insure complete honesty, I even had Julianna draw the names.


So, with no further ado, the winners are....



Allison

Kathy

Katrina

Congratulations, girls. I know where to find you to deliver your prizes. And thanks to all who commented. It was really fun. I'll surely do more giveaways in the future.

*Even with my meddling, Madeleine did not make it through the summer. She escaped from her cage and was found weeks later under the dryer. Oh well, I tried.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

10 Things Thursday

10 things about me that you might not know...

1. I don't like cucumbers.
2. I do like sugar on my mac and cheese.
3. I said (until I was 16) that I would never get married.
4. I always eat fries two at a time.
5. I try to make sure the two fries are the same size.
6. I lettered in high school.*
7. I got the third place prize for "Best Speaker" in my college speech class.
8. I graduated 17th out of a class of 317.
9. I once got a birthday card from Don Johnson from Miami Vice.**
10. I write stories in my head. (Now if I could just get them down on paper!)

*The first person to guess what I lettered in gets a prize!
**I'll have to blog about this soon.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Cute

Yesterday I was driving into town and glanced in my rear view mirror and saw the faces of my three children. I said, "You know, I think I have the three cutest kids in the whole wide world." To which Adam replied (because he always replies), "Julianna is cuter than Josh...and I'm cuter than both of them." Typical Adam. :)

Thanks to all of you who have commented on my giveaway post. If you haven't commented yet, you have until Friday at noon to be entered in the exciting Avon gift bag giveaway! Keep commenting!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Who Are You People?

I have this little stat counter thing on my blog that tells me how many people visit my blog each day, where each viewer is, how they found me, and lots of other information about my blog. Well, last week I had an average daily page view of 36 with the highest being 50. (Thanks for front paging me, Dave.) That might not seem like a lot in the world of a million page views, but to me it's something. But even with my staggering numbers of viewers, my weekly comment average was only 1.2. My question is, "Who are you people?" In an attempt to find out, I am going to have a giveaway. I've noticed that when other bloggers give stuff away, they get tons of comments. So I'm going to try it. Here's what you'll get if you win:






A sample of Avon Bubble Bath,










A tube of my favorite Avon lip balm,











A purse size Avon spring lotion,






along with a few other Avon surprises and a book from my extensive collection.
You don't even have to really comment. Just say "hi" and you might win a fun little Avon gift bag. I'll randomly choose three winners on Friday. Good luck! And thanks for stopping by.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Announcement

My sister has started a blog! Actually she started two! Check them out here and here. And add them to your favorites, because they are going to be good.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Today

There are days in my life that are turning points. And when those dates come around each year, I think of those times and how my life has changed. September 16, the day I was baptized. July 11, the day I got married. October 10, May 18, June 2, the days I became a mom of one and two and three children. And of course, there are many others.

Today is one of those days. April 17 was the date of my car accident. Three years ago. It seems like a dream sometimes. Like it didn't really happen. Or like it was a scene in a book I read or movie I saw. Those few seconds of rolling over and over in a metal box. Those few seconds of wondering what was happening and what would happen the next moment. Those few seconds of praying like I've never prayed before. Those few seconds changed my life. That evening in the ambulance and hospital room and the painful days that followed were just the beginning. That event caused me to look at life in a whole different way. I've always felt that I have to learn things the hard way. And that day was the beginning of a long, painful journey to where I find myself today.

A lot of bad things happened because of those few short minutes in my life. Physical pain like I'd never felt before. Fear of cars and driving and loss. Long hours of physical therapy that left me physically and mentally drained. Months and months of severe anxiety and panic attacks and depression. Sadness, guilt, worry, doubt, pain inside and out. I wasn't getting better no matter how hard I tried. No matter how much I cried. No matter how much I prayed. It was, in fact, getting worse. It finally got bad enough that I had to finally face it and fix it. So in January of 2007 I got help. And the good news is that I'm better. Not back to "normal." I'll never go back to who I was before. I've hurt too much. I've felt too much. I've thought too much.

But what I've very slowly learned is that this bad thing that happened has helped me grow. I've grown in my faith. I've grown in self awareness. I've most definitely grown in my compassion toward others. When before I'd think, "Why don't they just get over it? Why can't they just move on?" Now I understand. It's not that easy. It's a brain thing, not a heart thing. I've also learned a whole lot about post traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks and anxiety disorder. I have been able to use what I experienced and learned to help others. I can't count how many people have told me that they went through the same thing or who have come to me to share their own struggles. That has been a blessing for me and for others. It took a long time for me to see it that way. For a long time I couldn't get past "why me." But once I did, I could see the whole thing more clearly.

Other good things have come from this one bad one, too. I started this blog to distract myself from the panic attacks. (At least I think that's a good thing.) I pray more. And I pray for strangers more, especially if I see an accident or hear a siren. I am able to see what is really important in life. And that life is short. Too short to waste it.

I don't want to pretend that I've always been okay with what happened. I wasn't and still have days when I'm not. I've been angry. So angry. And I've had times when I haven't been able to see any light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, I was lost in a very long, dark tunnel for a long time. I did not get better on my own. I had help. A lot of help from above and some from here on earth.

So, am I glad it happened? Absolutely not. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. And absolutely. There is a reason. I've seen part of the reason already. And as hard as it was, and is, to deal with, I know that God has and will use what I have learned to help others. So, today, on this day, I will praise him. I will be thankful that I am here and healthy and whole. I will thank him for the bad and good that has happened since that day three years ago. I will willingly allow him to use me to help others. I will look at the sunshine and blue sky and the faces of my children and thank him, with my whole heart, that I am here to enjoy it.


P.S. If you are struggling with panic attacks or anxiety and need someone to talk to, I am here and would be happy to be able to talk to you and share what I have learned.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

10 Things Thursday


10 things in my refrigerator right now.

1. fresh strawberries
2. homemade potato soup
3. 1 and a half gallons of milk
4. 2 half jars of baby food (peaches and chicken veggie)
5. pink stuff*
6. 8 colored Easter eggs
7. a jar of artichoke hearts
8. a variety of cheeses
9. a half eaten hamburger
10. leftover fry sauce

(There's more than that, but it is called 10 Things Thursday.)

*Pink Stuff recipe

1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 can crushed pineapple-drained
1 can cherry pie filling
1 16 oz. container of Cool Whip

Mix it. Chill it. Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

That Counts


When we do school, we mark each lesson that we complete and also count hours that we spend doing learning activities. We can also count things like swimming lessons for PE hours. And concerts for music hours. And pumpkin farm field trips for science hours.

But my question today is, what should I mark for this morning? The boys have spent most of their school time building and watching a trap meant to catch a chipmunk under the front porch. It consists of a box, a stick, a string, and a saltine cracker with peanut butter on it. During this time, they have also discovered a dead mouse, caught some kind of weird looking beetles, found a tiny seedling tree growing next to the porch, and worked/played together without arguing once.

Could be science (animals and plants). Could be math (angles and probability). Could be health (don't touch a dead mouse and effective hand washing). Could be history (old fashioned trap). I think I'll count time for all of them.

And now I'm going to go sing them a song so that I can count music, too.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Party Time

Adam's birthday is only 15 days before Julianna's. His is in just over a month, so I've been thinking about party plans for both of them. He picked out Pokemon for his theme and I picked out a cute, girly 1st birthday butterfly theme for Jules. Yesterday I was looking at the calendar trying to decide on dates for the parties. If I do it right, I can have the parties 3 weeks apart. Since mostly the same people will be coming to both parties, I want to make it as painless as possible. But today, I considered something that I wanted to avoid since we found out when Julianna would be born. I considered, for just a minute, having a combined party. The truth is, Adam would probably be fine with it. He adores his sister and would be happy as long as there was cake and presents. And of course, Jules wouldn't know the difference anyway. But I would know. So after that brief thought, I decided that they each need their own parties. Their own special days. So we will have two parties. One in mid-May and one the beginning of June. Two cakes. Two Saturdays. Two songs. Two sweet, cute kids.

But if you get an invitation, you will get both in the same envelope. I won't be using two stamps.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Lessons

I am always learning about being a mom. I've been a mom for almost 10 years and yet it seems that everyday brings a new mommy lesson. This week alone, I have learned several things. Here are a few.

1. Do not wait until the week before Easter to buy your daughter's new tights. There will be none to be found in a 15 mile radius. And she will have to wear her old ones with the knees that are gray from crawling around.

2. Do not wait to put on your daughter's cute little shoes with the butterfly buckles until you get to church. Just because they fit two weeks ago doesn't mean that they will fit this week. And she will end up spending the day shoeless.

3. If you dress your daughter in a cute little pink polka dot dress complete with tulle bows, people at church will ooh and ahh and smile at her cuteness even though she has on old tights and no shoes.

4. Do not be late for an Easter egg hunt. Once they say "GO," it lasts for exactly 23 1/2 seconds. We were not late and the boys and even Julianna found some brightly colored eggs filled with all kinds of goodies.

5. Never count on the weather to cooperate in North Idaho. It rained and was so cold during the egg hunt. I'm not sure which was worse, this year or last when we had a foot of new snow on the ground.

6. If little boys get new weapons (toys, of course), someone will end up crying. And the amount of crying is proportional to the number of weapons. (This one I already knew, but was reminded of it yesterday.)

7. Sometimes kids can surprise you. We had a mini egg hunt at my mom and dad's house yesterday after lunch and I was prepared to have the three boys divide the eggs equally. One found 11, one found 13, and one found 18. I waited to see what would happen and none of them said anything. They were happy with what they got. Maybe they are learning some of those "life's not fair" lessons. Or maybe they were just distracted by the quarters and chocolate.

8. I always think that Abby and Julianna can't get any cuter. But then every time I see them together, they do! (Abby is so sweet. I can't believe how happy she makes me.)

9. Girls are NOT less active than boys. I thought I was going to have it easy with a girl this time. Umm, no. She gets into everything and is moving unless she's asleep. She is curious and adventurous and silly. And wonderful, even though I can no longer sit through a movie or church service.

10. Being a mommy gets better over time. I have loved every step--theirs and mine. Even the difficult ones. There is absolutely nothing like it.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Ten Things Thursday

Ten reasons why I love spring...

1. melting snow
2. sunshine
3. new grass
4. 70+ degree weather
5. not having to wear a coat
6. not having to dress the kids in coats
7. evening walks
8. days at the park
9. open doors and windows
10. seeing the end of the school year approaching

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Sock It To Me

I can't believe what I just did. I went into the boys' room and borrowed a pair of socks. Yes, my sons' socks fit me!!! Yikes!

(They were brand new, by the way. I'm not sure I'd borrow used ones.)

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Priceless

I had one of those moments today when I looked across the room and there was this little person cruising around holding onto furniture as she circled the living room and it took me just the briefest second to remember that she is mine. This tiny little girl with fuzzy brown hair and sparkling blue eyes is my daughter. The last 20 months have been a sort of surreal flurry of days filled with morning sickness and a growing belly. Then her birthday and diapers and sleepless nights and getting to know each other. Now we share days filled with new skills and smiles and pink sweetness. I sometimes have this strange feeling of disbelief that I have a baby mixed with a keen sense that I've known her forever. There have been moments of me wondering if I'm absolutely crazy for having another baby when I was 36. There have been moments of extreme happiness that I did. But there has not been one moment, not a single one, of regret. This little girl has brought so much to our family. She has made me a better mom. She has brought out the best in the boys and proven, just as I suspected, that they are great big brothers. She has softened her daddy's heart as only little girls can do. And she has captured the hearts of all who know her.

As amazing as it was to have Josh and then Adam, it's different somehow with Julianna. I'm not sure if it's because she's a girl or because I have almost 10 years of mommy experience or because I'm older this time and just more comfortable with the whole thing. I just don't know. But I do know this. God was right. (As if I needed proof.) He led me to this moment in my life as he has done so many times before. He put Julianna in my heart. Then he made her real. This little person, this little pink person, was meant to be here. And meant to be mine.

Last Sunday at church, she fell asleep on my lap with her head on my chest. She rarely falls asleep at church anymore even though it's right in the middle of her nap time. She's afraid she might miss something. She's nosey, I mean curious, like her mom. So I was surprised that her eyes closed and then stayed closed. I sat there looking down, awed by her sweet little face. And then this memory flooded into my mind from a year ago when I was pregnant with her. I remember sitting in church in the very same spot staring down at my bulging belly watching for an elbow or tiny foot to make it's way across under my shirt. I always loved watching my babies move in my belly. As I sat there thinking how quickly the last year has flown, I sighed with the knowledge that the next years will go just as fast. Josh and Adam, sitting on either side of me, were proof of that. So there I sat, with my daughter snuggled in my arms and my sons at my sides, treasuring the seconds, knowing all too well how fleeting they are.

So. Am I crazy for having another baby at 36, seven years after my last one? The answer is yes...and no. I am a little crazy, but it has little to do with my children and when they were born. But no, because this surreal part of my life is like a Picasso painting. It looks a little strange at first, but in the end, it's priceless.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Ten Things Thursday

Ten things about Julianna.

1. She has three freckles...one on her tummy, one on her left side, and one on her left knee.
2. She makes the cutest faces ever. Especially when she crinkles up her nose and smiles.
3. She is a thinker. I just wonder what she's thinking.
4. She loves music and will almost always stop to listen to anything she finds interesting.
5. She looks adorable in pink. And it's a good thing because 98% of her wardrobe is pink.
6. She does not sleep as much as all the books and magazines say she should (like Adam).
7. She loves to snuggle for a while right after she wakes up (like Josh).
8. She is a mama's girl...which I love.
9. She has the most beautiful blue eyes with the longest, darkest eyelashes.
And
10. She is 10 months old today.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The One With The Smoky Voice

Remember that episode of Friends where Phoebe gets a cold and when she starts to sing Smelly Cat at Central Perk, she sounds good. She loves her new, cold induced, smoky, cool voice. And for once, others appreciate her voice, too. Well, I thought of that Sunday when I started to sing at church. This cold, that I hate having, made my okay alto voice sound all smoky and cool like Phoebe's. It was kind of weird singing hymns and worship songs in that kind of a voice, but it was cool none the less. I do hope, though, that next week I have my plain old healthy voice back. I will not, like the desperate Phoebes, go around licking sick people's coffee mugs to regain my smoky, cool voice. That would just be weird.