Lost Post: A Sister is a Girl's Best Friend

Just found this post in my drafts. Not sure why it never got posted. And even though it's not even close to her birthday, all the rest is true and could be said any day of the year.

I'd like to tell you about my sister. She is almost six years younger than me and is way cooler than me. She is beautiful and funny and smart and one of the best moms I know. She and I share memories that no one else can because of our shared childhood. We can share a look and know what the other is thinking. We can say "Dougherty" and giggle. We can talk about the funny things our parents do and laugh together. We can call each other with troubles and cry together. I know that no matter what, I can count on her to understand and love me anyway. And she knows the same about me. She is, and has always been, my best friend and I don't know what I'd do without her.

I love you, Ada. Happy Birthday.

Dilemma Update

Josh got into the charter school for 8th grade. And Adam is #1 on the 7th grade waiting list so he has a really, really good chance at getting in before school starts.

We are all a little nervous about the whole thing. But I had to reassure the boys...and myself...that I had been praying that they would get in if that was God's plan and that they wouldn't if it wasn't. So it must be the plan. Now I just have to prepare them...and me...for the changes to come.

Dilemma

Most families, I think, send their children to the elementary school closest to their homes. And there they stay until they move on to their district's middle school and then high school. No questions. No special considerations. But that's not how our children's education has worked out.

For the entirety of my children's education they have either been homeschooled, in my class, or just down the hall from me at our Christian school. But now the time has come for a change. Our private school goes through 8th grade this year, but we're not sure what grades we will have next year. Josh will be in 8th grade next year. Adam will be in 7th. Chances are, this is the last year that we will all spend our days in the same building.

Also, this year the boys are in the same class since their grades are combined. That's a challenge for them since it means that they are together all day every day. They wake up and fall asleep in the same room at home. And they spend all day in the same room at school. That's a lot of time for anyone to spend together. Most days are okay. But some days aren't so much.

Those two things lead to the conclusion that one or both of the boys needs to do something different for school next year..

And therein lies the dilemma. Where do they go from here? Both boys are really smart and get good grades. They are well-behaved...mostly. They could be successful anywhere they went.

So, here are our choices and the pros and cons of each.

A local charter academy
Pros: Science, technology, and math centered curriculum. Just what both boys like best.
         It's a relatively small school which is what they are used to.
         No tuition since it's a public charter school.
         Monday through Thursday schedule. Fridays off is a huge selling point for the boys...especially Josh.
Cons: Limited availability of spaces for new students.
          Secular curriculum.
          Limited extra-curriculars.
          Inconvenient location.
          Class size of 30, which seems really big to me.
          Only goes through 8th grade so Josh would have to move again the following year.

Public School
Pros: No tuition.
         Busing.
         Lots of opportunity to make new friends
Cons: Big schools.
          Big classes.
          Surrounded by worldly influences, teachers, and peers.
          Teaching that most likely will not match our spiritual beliefs.
          Josh would have to change schools two years in a row.

Another Christian School
Pros: Christian staff and curriculum.
         Small school and class sizes.
         Extremely convenient location and hours.
         Monday through Thursday schedule.
         Goes through high school, so the boys could stay there until they graduate.
         Arrty's alma mater.
Cons: Monthly tuition that would be very challenging to our budget.
          Uncertainty about open spaces for new students.

My ideal choice would be the Christian school. The boys don't have much of an opinion since they don't know anything beyond where they've been. (Actually, Josh's choice would be to not go to school at all and spend his days fishing. And Adam is fine anywhere as long as there's not a lot of homework.)

So, here we are at a crossroads. One that has come way too fast. And one that is so very important. I've researched. I've been praying. I've asked advice. So now I will wait for guidance. And like with all of my parenting, I'll do everything I can and hope for the best...and a lot of grace from above.

10 Things Thursday

10 people I'd like to have lunch with if humanly possible.

1. Jesus
2. Abraham Lincoln
3. Elizabeth Cady Stanton
4. Mark Twain
5. Mrs. Noah
6. Paul Newman
7. Harriet Tubman
8. any of my ancestors
9. Adele
10. my 20 year old self

Two Score and One

In honor of my 41st birthday, here is a list of 41 of my favorite things (in no particular order).

1. sunshine
2. Julianna's belly laugh
3. books
4. my parents
5. butterflies
6. music
7. Arrty's faithful love
8. blue skies
9. writing
10. Josh's hugs
11. clearance sales
12. chai latte
13. the beach
14. salvation
15. hummingbirds
16. ice water
17. the library
18. Adam's mischievousness
19. studying my genealogy
20. my sister and her sweet family
21. my sister friends
22. musical theater
23. dreams
24. peace
25. summer mornings
26. the zoo
27. coconut cream pie
28. a clean kitchen
29. naps
30. Thanksgiving
31. hope
32. walks
33. my students
34. surprises
35. family time
36. wildflowers
37. memories
38. going to the movies
39. the Bible
40. photographs
41. birthdays

Blessed Sunday

I was blessed with a reminder this week. One that I needed. I was reminded to listen to the Spirit of God who lives in me. To listen to Him and act.

You see, sometimes I have these thoughts of things I need to do and sometimes I even write them down on my to-do list. And sometimes I don't do them even then. I think of doing them and plan on doing them and want to do them. But I don't for whatever reason. Usually these Spirit led thoughts are about other people. Thoughts that I need to call a certain person or send a card to someone who needs it. But then, somehow, times passes by and I don't do it and the thought and opportunity is gone.

The reminder this week came in the form of a sweet lady from church. One who has been on my heart and in my prayers and on my "send a card to" list for a long time. I have prayed for her and sent thoughts of peace and comfort her way. But I failed to send a note or card or even an email. I didn't think too much about it. Surely she was getting lots of love from those who are closer to her than I. Surely she didn't miss my one little card telling her I loved her and was praying for her. Besides, it's the thought that counts, right?

Well, this lady, the one who'd been on my heart, came to me this week with the worry that she'd done or said something that hurt my feelings. The time we'd spent together before had changed and since I'd seemed to have pulled away, she was worried. The pulling away wasn't intentional. Just changes in schedules and family needs. There were no problems. We love and cherish the friendships we have with this family and the others with whom we had mutually spent time. But, because I hadn't told her that, she thought that maybe the separation was her fault. But nothing could be further from the truth. I adore and respect her so, so much.

So here's where the reminder came in. Because, if on any one of the hundred occasions that I'd thought of her, I would have called or sent a card, her worry could have been alleviated. That's why I'd had those thoughts in the first place. During a time in her life when the last thing she needed was to be worried about me, she was. And the Spirit, who knows her thoughts as well as mine, was telling me to let her know I loved her so that her worry would be taken away. But even though I heard the Spirit's whispers, I didn't listen. I didn't act. And by ignoring the nudging guidance of the dear, sweet Spirit, I hurt someone else. Someone who I should have and could have encouraged with just a word. He knew. He told me. I didn't listen. I failed.

But hopefully, hopefully, this reminder will help me to be a better Spirit listener and to fail a little less in the future. And the next time I hear His whisper, I'll try with all my heart to not let the chance to obey pass me by.

Wednesday WORD

Do good instead of evil and try to live at peace. If you obey the Lord, he will watch over you and answer your prayers. 

Psalm 34: 14-15

10 Things Thursday

10 things about school today.

1. We had a Valentine's Day party.
2. We went on a skating field trip.
3. The kids ate cupcakes and marshmallows.
4. And candy and cookies.
5. We passed out valentine cards and treats.
6. And because of all that, my kindergartners were vibrating with excitement.
7. Dads on skates should probably be warned when racing against a mom who is a roller derbier.
8. At least she just beat them in the race and didn't take anyone out.
9. She wouldn't even take out the middle schoolers I pointed out to her.
10. And tomorrow I have to go clean my classroom because it looks like Cupid exploded all over it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Blessed Sunday

It took my friends a long time to talk me into joining the world of Facebook. They would say things like:

"I'm calling to tell you our movie plans since you're not on Facebook." 

and

"Did you hear that So And So is pregnant/had her baby/is engaged/went to Costco today? No? Oh, right, you're not on Facebook." 

and 

"You'd know that my sister's friend's daughter's goldfish died IF you were on Facebook!" 

I had no desire or need to have one more thing to take up my time. Especially one that involved a screen. But then, I fell into the trap and joined. Mainly to be able to sell things on Shop and Swap. (I've sold a total of ONE item.) Since then, I've found that I really enjoy getting to know far away friends and relatives and catching up with old friends and sharing my life with all of them. I love meeting everyone's kids and watching them grow. I'm glad I get to share, in at least a little part, in their families' joys. And I am blessed to be able to pray for them when they need that, too. And I also like being in the loop for movie nights/birthday parties/book clubs...

Never did I think that I would count Facebook as a blessing. But it has become that. Last night I had a private message conversation with someone from my past who is a new Facebook friend. We talked about kids and marriages and high school and mutual friends. And the funny part is, I think it was the first conversation I ever really had with her. She's a few years older than me and when we were teenagers I thought she was super pretty and cool (which she still is, by the way). I was way too shy then to talk to her much. But thanks to the years and Facebook, we're friends now. And that makes me happy.

So with a sigh and resignation to hearing, "I told you so," I will say that Facebook is a blessing. But far and away more of a blessing is the old and new friends it has brought into my life.

Whispers

I've come to believe and embrace the truth that prayer is not just talking to God while he sits back and takes notes on all the things I need and want and ask him for. It's not even Him basking in the glory of my praise and adoration. Prayer is a conversation. A two way street. Yes, I ask and praise and maybe even cry out to God, but I also listen. I have become acutely aware that in those quiet moments when it's just me and my Lord, he speaks. In the quiet whispers and in my thoughts and in spontaneous reminders of his Word. I've even come to understand that my conscience is His Spirit living in me. That understanding makes it really hard to ignore my conscience. Which is what it's all about, right? To not ignore those thoughts and feelings and nudges that come from the Spirit.

Sometimes it's hard. I'll be praying about something and this thought pops into my head that gives some clarity to the situation. I used to think, "Hmmm...that's a weird/wise/wonderful thing for me to think right now." But as I've grown older, and closer to God I suppose, I've recognized those thoughts as Him speaking to me. And it's not always what I want to hear. So it's hard.

That happened yesterday morning. I was praying about two of the girls in my afternoon class. They struggle a little...maybe even a lot. And they have less than perfect home lives. And they are searching and trying so hard to be loved and so in need of some guidance. So I was praying for them. For their hearts and souls and for God to protect them. And for God to send someone to help them. To love them and teach them to love themselves and each other and Jesus. And then it happened. He whispered. And His words were not what I expected. He told me that I was that person. The one He had sent into their lives. My soul screamed, "NOOOOOO!" Not because I don't love them and care about them and want to help them. But because it's just something else to fill the little time I feel like I already have full. And, honestly, they kind of drive me crazy. I spend every afternoon with them in class, which is one thing. But taking the time and making the effort to do more? I don't know about that. But there was that whisper. And who am I to ignore it? Who?

So now I'm trying, and struggling, to come up with a plan. One that will make a difference in the lives of two girls who need something different. And I am listening for His whisper once again to help me do what He wants me to do. Because I trust that He never gives me more than I can handle. Even when it's two teenage girls.

(I'd be glad to hear any suggestions from those who might have some. It takes a village, you know.)

10 Things Thursday

!0 things about today.

1. I forgot it was Thursday. For some reason I was all mixed up this week about which day it was. Weird.
2. It was my kindergarten class's day to lead chapel, which means two girls lead the Pledge of Allegiance and two boys lead opening and closing prayer. We learned that one of my girls loooves the microphone and one doesn't so much.
3. Another teacher covered my class for a while so that I could go to some local businesses asking for donations for our school's annual fundraising auction. Surprisingly, I didn't hate it as much as I used to. And I discovered a cute little Italian place that I want to try.
4. I got done with my donation list a little early and stopped at Arby's for lunch. All by myself. And sat there and ate. And only felt a tiny bit guilty.
5. After lunch, I graded my afternoon class's spelling pre-tests and was happy that I had two 100%s, two 95%s, and one 90%. I wasn't so happy with the rest. (Note to self: work on spelling more with the struggling ones.)
6. After that we read about industrialism and inventions in the early 19th century. Did you know that in his lifetime, Andrew Carnegie gave away $350 million and John D. Rockefeller gave away $550 million?! Me either.
7. A bird flew into my window on the way to school this morning. It was dark when we were coming home so I'm just going to assume he jumped up and flew away as soon as we were out of sight. And that he had a bunch of little birdie friends hiding on the side of the road waiting to laugh with him about the look on my face.
8. I'm glad it was a bird that hit my car and not the moose we saw earlier this week.
9. The boys and I got haircuts after school. I was thrilled. They were not. Mean mama won't let them be shaggy.
10. Tomorrow is Friday. I know that's not about today, but I just thought I'd throw it out there.

Blessed Sunday

My 11 year old son leaning over in church and whispering to me about his sister who was sitting on his other side, "I love her so much!" That's a blessing.

10 things Thursday

10 of my favorite things from today.

1. Hugging on my favorite niece in the hall at school.
2. Laughing multiple times in chapel.
3. Discovering a new way to get my kindergartners to work quietly.
4. Answering the question about why my afternoon class was eating suckers with the reply, "Because I gave them suckers."
5. Making Kathy hiss "shut up" at me.
6. Hearing Patty's story about her call from the mayor.
7. Seeing how excited my kindergartners got about the new seating chart.
8. Tacos for dinner...even if I did have to cook.
9. Quiet reading time.
10. Bedtime.

(9 & 10 are still to come... but I know they'll be on the list.)

10 Things Thursday

In honor of A Butterfly Moment soon surpassing 40,000 page views, here are the top ten viewed posts (and number of views to date) on my blog.

1. The Story of How I Came To Sit Beside Ellen Travolta (1418)
2. Why I Don't Go To The Mall  (498)
3. Tragedy (375)
4. A short story... (326)
5. Potty Training 301 (316)
6. 32 + 1 (294)
7. Yeah, Minnie! (220)
8. 10 Things Thursday (184)
9. Disney on Ice (178)
10. Pronounced (173)

And the top 10 countries to view my blog.

1. United States
2. Russia
3. France
4. Netherlands
5. United Kingdom
6. Germany
7. South Korea
8. Malaysia
9. Canada
10. Australia

Show and Tell

stuffed penguin with green mittens and scarf named Pengpeng

doll named Rainbowlicious whose "...eyes close when she lays down and when she stands up her eyes are open."

plastic, purple snake

Zuzu pet puppy

Huggy Buggy the fat butterfly

dog Dream Lite*

Velveteen Rabbit--"Her first name is Velvet and her middle name is Velveteen and I haven't decided her last name yet."

plastic baby bottle shaped like a bunch of grapes

dog slippers used for beds for littler animals

pirate ship shaped like a dragon

Christmas flipbook

unicorn Dream Lite named Rainbow (last name Party--nickname Dreamy)**

eagle and shark toys "This is my eagle and I like to play with it and this is my shark and I like to play with it."


*The dog Dream Lite was the one thing Julianna wanted most of all for Christmas. She loves it! It really does shine the stars and shapes on the ceiling. I would have loved it when I was little!

**I love when stuffed animals have first, middle, and last names. I think the nickname was a first after many years of show and tell. And a rainbow party would be dreamy!

Blessed Sunday

Over the past two days I have been blessed to spend time with some of the sweetest, cutest, snuggliest babies in town. Yesterday I was able to play and snuggle with my sweet nephew, Asher. He is such a wonderful little guy. He smiles and laughs and giggles almost all the time. He is funny and talkative and adorable. He sat with me and we read and sang and discussed all the wonderful things outside while watching the other kids play in the snow. And for a few sweet moments, he snuggled on my lap and slept. What a sweet face he has! I love him all to pieces and treasure all the baby moments with him since he's the last baby in our family for a while.

Then this morning during church services I was asked to watch the babies in the nursery. There were six little ones to enjoy. They were all so good and we had lots of fun playing and emptying out all the toy boxes in the whole nursery. They are all very special babies with very special families.

So here's what I discovered from all the baby time I enjoyed this weekend: I'm glad they went home with their mommies and not me. I am done with babies. And although I love them and loved every minute spent with them, I am glad to not have to change their diapers and get up with them at night and follow them around with a broom and a handful of baby wipes. Baby-ness is wonderful and I will always be grateful for my time of mommying babies. But those days are over for me. And I can finally say that that's okay. It took a long time for me to be okay with it. But I am. I really am. I'll just love on other people's babies and then smile as I hand them back to their mommies as soon as they start crying or stinking. Now that's what I call blessed.

10 Things Thursday

10 things I got for Christmas.

1. Boots from my dad on our pre-Christmas shopping trip. I love them. I have wanted some like them for a long time, but never bought them for myself. They are my new favorite shoes...at least until sandal time.
2. Silverware from mom (and dad). The silverware we had been using was a wedding gift, I think. We were down to five forks after all these years. And there are five of us. So I had to wash forks after every meal. Or plan meals that didn't need forks.
3. Cups. Which doesn't sound so exciting, but they are my favorite kind of cups with lids and straws. I use one every day to take ice water to school. And since two of mine have disappeared (NOT to Arrty's office), I needed a few more. One was filled with socks and one had a TJ Maxx gift card in it.
4. CDs. Three lovely, thoughtful, mixed cds from my sweet sister. One is titled "to chill to." One is "to sing to." And one is "to move to." I love them all. They make me smile...and chill...and sing...and move.
5. Brave. The movie. Not the adjective. Although it is both my favorite animated movie and my favorite adjective.
6. A mug. With lots of big words that I had to look up on dictionary.com. It is perfect for tea and hot chocolate. I love it and the person who gave it to me.
7. A journal with butterflies on the front. Just perfect for lists and reminders and book ideas.
8. Fuzzy, polka dot socks. Which are comfy and warm and make my feet happy.
9. A romance novel. That I picked out for myself when I couldn't find "The Life of Pi." I read it Christmas week. Let's just say I should have waited for "The Life of Pi." It was terrible. Just terrible. And still I read the whole thing.
10. Another book that will most certainly be better than "The Christmas Bride" and a Hastings gift card. With which I will buy "The Life of Pi."

Bonus: Adam gave me a fuzzy, gray blanket that he got as his gift at the youth group Christmas party. It was so sweet of him to pass it on to me since he knows how much I love a nice, soft blanket.

I also got a big, red mixing bowl, a cupcake carrier, chocolates, pens, pajamas, movie tickets, a monkey cup, homemade fudge, a calendar, chocolate covered graham crackers, a brush, a Texas Roadhouse gift card, a Dutch Bros. gift card, a cupcake ornament, a beverage warmer, Diet Coke and Oreos, and probably more that have been used, put away or eaten.

I'm very blessed and a little spoiled.

Another End, Another Beginning

So here I am at the end of another year. And getting ready to begin a new one. Honestly, other than having to write 2013 instead of 2012, tomorrow will be much the same as today. But it is a chance to look at my life, where I've been, and where I'm going. I've had the same resolutions for far too long to write them down again. I know what I need to do...or not do. And hopefully being older, and wiser, will help in finally getting all those things taken care of so I can move on. On to bigger and better things.

But when midnight strikes tonight, it will not change who I am. Who I have been. Who I want to be. I am grateful to know that I can start over every day, not just tomorrow. Each morning when I open my eyes, I am given the blessing of another day. None of which during the last 40 years have been perfect. Nor will any during the next 40. As a matter of fact, some of my days have stunk. Some were full of fear and tears and pain. But even more have been wonderful. Full of laughter and joy and peace. And the older I get, the more of my days are of the wonderful variety. And fewer and fewer of the stinky.

For the last few years my family has been in a sort of limbo waiting for this and that and the other. And finally, finally we are enjoying some security and stability. We still have a lot to overcome, but there is a light at the end of a very long tunnel. And that light is what I've been waiting for most of all.

So as the old year ends and the new one starts, I will feel blessed. What else is there to feel when I am healthy and happy and surrounded by those I love more than life itself?

Happy New Year. May you be blessed to overflowing, too.

Christmas Vacation Ramblings

Christmas vacation started a day early, so we didn't get to have our class Christmas party. We will be having a New Year's party in my class in January instead. Then it's right back to learning how to read.

Saturday was date night. Arrty and I went to Red Lobster for dinner and talked and ate crab and solved all the world's problems. Date nights are rare...and nice.

Sunday night we put up our Christmas tree. (Do not judge me.)

Since we don't have a traditional Christmas meal at our house, I decided to start one...Christmas Eve breakfast. This year it included eggs, sausage, bacon, cheesy hash browns, and biscuits. Upon smelling the yumminess, Josh declared me "the best mom ever." Who says teenagers are hard to please?

Christmas Eve morning was spent baking and making treats. Then we made a few stops on the way to the Christmas Eve service to deliver goodie plates to a few special folks. We also waited in line at Dutch Bros. for $1 drinks. And Arrty didn't even complain too much. It was Christmas Eve, after all.

The Christmas Eve service was lovely and singing carols while all in the room were holding flickering candles was my favorite part. Even if the two little girls sitting with me came alarmingly close to setting the old people in front of us on fire.

Then it was time for Christmas Eve festivities at Mom and Dad's. Tons of food including the traditional WV sandwiches and homemade fries. Then we opened presents that weren't surprisingly at all pajamas. Mine are purple polka dotted.

Christmas morning I woke up before the kids and was showered and holding a warm cup of tea before they appeared. We opened stockings and presents and enjoyed each other's company. I was relieved that the boys were happy with their gifts. And I was surprised to find that I missed the days of being surrounded by Legos and Transformers.

Then I did some cooking in preparation for going to Arrty's grandma's house for lunch where we were served Cornish game hens and the best mashed potatoes on the planet. Then there were more presents. And laughter and Christmas cheer.

Then we headed to Mom and Dad's for dinner where I thought I wouldn't be able to eat another bite. I was wrong. There was prime rib cooked to perfection and several yummy side dishes. Then more presents. There are twelve of us and we open gifts one at a time. The kids were very patient waiting for their turn to open. It was busy and crazy and wonderful.

Since then there has been lots of movie watching and playing games and reading. Which makes for a perfect vacation if you ask me.

Oh. And apparently the BEST girl's night EVER at Kathy's. Which it kind of was.

Blessed Sunday

I was blessed this morning at church.to sit next to one of my very favorite people in the whole, wide world: my sister. 

And if that wasn't enough, we got to sing together. She with her beautiful soprano voice that matches perfectly with my alto. It was wonderful and natural and a perfect way to start the day and a new week.

 (Her birthday week, by the way.) 

I adore my sweet sister and count her among my blessings each and every day.