Who Are You People?

I have this little stat counter thing on my blog that tells me how many people visit my blog each day, where each viewer is, how they found me, and lots of other information about my blog. Well, last week I had an average daily page view of 36 with the highest being 50. (Thanks for front paging me, Dave.) That might not seem like a lot in the world of a million page views, but to me it's something. But even with my staggering numbers of viewers, my weekly comment average was only 1.2. My question is, "Who are you people?" In an attempt to find out, I am going to have a giveaway. I've noticed that when other bloggers give stuff away, they get tons of comments. So I'm going to try it. Here's what you'll get if you win:

A sample of Avon Bubble Bath,

A tube of my favorite Avon lip balm,

A purse size Avon spring lotion,

along with a few other Avon surprises and a book from my extensive collection.

You don't even have to really comment. Just say "hi" and you might win a fun little Avon gift bag. I'll randomly choose three winners on Friday. Good luck! And thanks for stopping by.

Announcement

My sister has started a blog! Actually she started two! Check them out here and here. And add them to your favorites, because they are going to be good.

Today

There are days in my life that are turning points. And when those dates come around each year, I think of those times and how my life has changed. September 16, the day I was baptized. July 11, the day I got married. October 10, May 18, June 2, the days I became a mom of one and two and three children. And of course, there are many others.

Today is one of those days. April 17 was the date of my car accident. Three years ago. It seems like a dream sometimes. Like it didn't really happen. Or like it was a scene in a book I read or movie I saw. Those few seconds of rolling over and over in a metal box. Those few seconds of wondering what was happening and what would happen the next moment. Those few seconds of praying like I've never prayed before. Those few seconds changed my life. That evening in the ambulance and hospital room and the painful days that followed were just the beginning. That event caused me to look at life in a whole different way. I've always felt that I have to learn things the hard way. And that day was the beginning of a long, painful journey to where I find myself today.

A lot of bad things happened because of those few short minutes in my life. Physical pain like I'd never felt before. Fear of cars and driving and loss. Long hours of physical therapy that left me physically and mentally drained. Months and months of severe anxiety and panic attacks and depression. Sadness, guilt, worry, doubt, pain inside and out. I wasn't getting better no matter how hard I tried. No matter how much I cried. No matter how much I prayed. It was, in fact, getting worse. It finally got bad enough that I had to finally face it and fix it. So in January of 2007 I got help. And the good news is that I'm better. Not back to "normal." I'll never go back to who I was before. I've hurt too much. I've felt too much. I've thought too much.

But what I've very slowly learned is that this bad thing that happened has helped me grow. I've grown in my faith. I've grown in self awareness. I've most definitely grown in my compassion toward others. When before I'd think, "Why don't they just get over it? Why can't they just move on?" Now I understand. It's not that easy. It's a brain thing, not a heart thing. I've also learned a whole lot about post traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks and anxiety disorder. I have been able to use what I experienced and learned to help others. I can't count how many people have told me that they went through the same thing or who have come to me to share their own struggles. That has been a blessing for me and for others. It took a long time for me to see it that way. For a long time I couldn't get past "why me." But once I did, I could see the whole thing more clearly.

Other good things have come from this one bad one, too. I started this blog to distract myself from the panic attacks. (At least I think that's a good thing.) I pray more. And I pray for strangers more, especially if I see an accident or hear a siren. I am able to see what is really important in life. And that life is short. Too short to waste it.

I don't want to pretend that I've always been okay with what happened. I wasn't and still have days when I'm not. I've been angry. So angry. And I've had times when I haven't been able to see any light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, I was lost in a very long, dark tunnel for a long time. I did not get better on my own. I had help. A lot of help from above and some from here on earth.

So, am I glad it happened? Absolutely not. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. And absolutely. There is a reason. I've seen part of the reason already. And as hard as it was, and is, to deal with, I know that God has and will use what I have learned to help others. So, today, on this day, I will praise him. I will be thankful that I am here and healthy and whole. I will thank him for the bad and good that has happened since that day three years ago. I will willingly allow him to use me to help others. I will look at the sunshine and blue sky and the faces of my children and thank him, with my whole heart, that I am here to enjoy it.


P.S. If you are struggling with panic attacks or anxiety and need someone to talk to, I am here and would be happy to be able to talk to you and share what I have learned.

10 Things Thursday

10 things in my refrigerator right now.

1. fresh strawberries

2. homemade potato soup

3. 1 and a half gallons of milk

4. 2 half jars of baby food (peaches and chicken veggie)

5. pink stuff*

6. 8 colored Easter eggs

7. a jar of artichoke hearts

8. a variety of cheeses

9. a half eaten hamburger

10. leftover fry sauce

(There's more than that, but it is called 10 Things Thursday.)

*Pink Stuff recipe

1 can sweetened condensed milk

1 can crushed pineapple-drained

1 can cherry pie filling

1 16 oz. container of Cool Whip

Mix it. Chill it. Enjoy!

That Counts

When we do school, we mark each lesson that we complete and also count hours that we spend doing learning activities. We can also count things like swimming lessons for PE hours. And concerts for music hours. And pumpkin farm field trips for science hours.

But my question today is, what should I mark for this morning? The boys have spent most of their school time building and watching a trap meant to catch a chipmunk under the front porch. It consists of a box, a stick, a string, and a saltine cracker with peanut butter on it. During this time, they have also discovered a dead mouse, caught some kind of weird looking beetles, found a tiny seedling tree growing next to the porch, and worked/played together without arguing once.

Could be science (animals and plants). Could be math (angles and probability). Could be health (don't touch a dead mouse and effective hand washing). Could be history (old fashioned trap). I think I'll count time for all of them.

And now I'm going to go sing them a song so that I can count music, too.

Party Time

Adam's birthday is only 15 days before Julianna's. His is in just over a month, so I've been thinking about party plans for both of them. He picked out Pokemon for his theme and I picked out a cute, girly 1st birthday butterfly theme for Jules. Yesterday I was looking at the calendar trying to decide on dates for the parties. If I do it right, I can have the parties 3 weeks apart. Since mostly the same people will be coming to both parties, I want to make it as painless as possible. But today, I considered something that I wanted to avoid since we found out when Julianna would be born. I considered, for just a minute, having a combined party. The truth is, Adam would probably be fine with it. He adores his sister and would be happy as long as there was cake and presents. And of course, Jules wouldn't know the difference anyway. But I would know. So after that brief thought, I decided that they each need their own parties. Their own special days. So we will have two parties. One in mid-May and one the beginning of June. Two cakes. Two Saturdays. Two songs. Two sweet, cute kids.

But if you get an invitation, you will get both in the same envelope. I won't be using two stamps.

Lessons

I am always learning about being a mom. I've been a mom for almost 10 years and yet it seems that everyday brings a new mommy lesson. This week alone, I have learned several things. Here are a few.

1. Do not wait until the week before Easter to buy your daughter's new tights. There will be none to be found in a 15 mile radius. And she will have to wear her old ones with the knees that are gray from crawling around.

2. Do not wait to put on your daughter's cute little shoes with the butterfly buckles until you get to church. Just because they fit two weeks ago doesn't mean that they will fit this week. And she will end up spending the day shoeless.

3. If you dress your daughter in a cute little pink polka dot dress complete with tulle bows, people at church will ooh and ahh and smile at her cuteness even though she has on old tights and no shoes.

4. Do not be late for an Easter egg hunt. Once they say "GO," it lasts for exactly 23 1/2 seconds. We were not late and the boys and even Julianna found some brightly colored eggs filled with all kinds of goodies.

5. Never count on the weather to cooperate in North Idaho. It rained and was so cold during the egg hunt. I'm not sure which was worse, this year or last when we had a foot of new snow on the ground.

6. If little boys get new weapons (toys, of course), someone will end up crying. And the amount of crying is proportional to the number of weapons. (This one I already knew, but was reminded of it yesterday.)

7. Sometimes kids can surprise you. We had a mini egg hunt at my mom and dad's house yesterday after lunch and I was prepared to have the three boys divide the eggs equally. One found 11, one found 13, and one found 18. I waited to see what would happen and none of them said anything. They were happy with what they got. Maybe they are learning some of those "life's not fair" lessons. Or maybe they were just distracted by the quarters and chocolate.

8. I always think that Abby and Julianna can't get any cuter. But then every time I see them together, they do! (Abby is so sweet. I can't believe how happy she makes me.)

9. Girls are NOT less active than boys. I thought I was going to have it easy with a girl this time. Umm, no. She gets into everything and is moving unless she's asleep. She is curious and adventurous and silly. And wonderful, even though I can no longer sit through a movie or church service.

10. Being a mommy gets better over time. I have loved every step--theirs and mine. Even the difficult ones. There is absolutely nothing like it.

Easter Graphics provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Ten Things Thursday

Ten reasons why I love spring...

1. melting snow
2. sunshine
3. new grass
4. 70+ degree weather
5. not having to wear a coat
6. not having to dress the kids in coats
7. evening walks
8. days at the park
9. open doors and windows
10. seeing the end of the school year approaching

Sock It To Me

I can't believe what I just did. I went into the boys' room and borrowed a pair of socks. Yes, my sons' socks fit me!!! Yikes!

(They were brand new, by the way. I'm not sure I'd borrow used ones.)

Priceless

I had one of those moments today when I looked across the room and there was this little person cruising around holding onto furniture as she circled the living room and it took me just the briefest second to remember that she is mine. This tiny little girl with fuzzy brown hair and sparkling blue eyes is my daughter. The last 20 months have been a sort of surreal flurry of days filled with morning sickness and a growing belly. Then her birthday and diapers and sleepless nights and getting to know each other. Now we share days filled with new skills and smiles and pink sweetness. I sometimes have this strange feeling of disbelief that I have a baby mixed with a keen sense that I've known her forever. There have been moments of me wondering if I'm absolutely crazy for having another baby when I was 36. There have been moments of extreme happiness that I did. But there has not been one moment, not a single one, of regret. This little girl has brought so much to our family. She has made me a better mom. She has brought out the best in the boys and proven, just as I suspected, that they are great big brothers. She has softened her daddy's heart as only little girls can do. And she has captured the hearts of all who know her.

As amazing as it was to have Josh and then Adam, it's different somehow with Julianna. I'm not sure if it's because she's a girl or because I have almost 10 years of mommy experience or because I'm older this time and just more comfortable with the whole thing. I just don't know. But I do know this. God was right. (As if I needed proof.) He led me to this moment in my life as he has done so many times before. He put Julianna in my heart. Then he made her real. This little person, this little pink person, was meant to be here. And meant to be mine.

Last Sunday at church, she fell asleep on my lap with her head on my chest. She rarely falls asleep at church anymore even though it's right in the middle of her nap time. She's afraid she might miss something. She's nosey, I mean curious, like her mom. So I was surprised that her eyes closed and then stayed closed. I sat there looking down, awed by her sweet little face. And then this memory flooded into my mind from a year ago when I was pregnant with her. I remember sitting in church in the very same spot staring down at my bulging belly watching for an elbow or tiny foot to make it's way across under my shirt. I always loved watching my babies move in my belly. As I sat there thinking how quickly the last year has flown, I sighed with the knowledge that the next years will go just as fast. Josh and Adam, sitting on either side of me, were proof of that. So there I sat, with my daughter snuggled in my arms and my sons at my sides, treasuring the seconds, knowing all too well how fleeting they are.

So. Am I crazy for having another baby at 36, seven years after my last one? The answer is yes...and no. I am a little crazy, but it has little to do with my children and when they were born. But no, because this surreal part of my life is like a Picasso painting. It looks a little strange at first, but in the end, it's priceless.

Ten Things Thursday

Ten things about Julianna.

1. She has three freckles...one on her tummy, one on her left side, and one on her left knee.
2. She makes the cutest faces ever. Especially when she crinkles up her nose and smiles.
3. She is a thinker. I just wonder what she's thinking.
4. She loves music and will almost always stop to listen to anything she finds interesting.
5. She looks adorable in pink. And it's a good thing because 98% of her wardrobe is pink.
6. She does not sleep as much as all the books and magazines say she should (like Adam).
7. She loves to snuggle for a while right after she wakes up (like Josh).
8. She is a mama's girl...which I love.
9. She has the most beautiful blue eyes with the longest, darkest eyelashes.
And
10. She is 10 months old today.

The One With The Smoky Voice

Remember that episode of Friends where Phoebe gets a cold and when she starts to sing Smelly Cat at Central Perk, she sounds good. She loves her new, cold induced, smoky, cool voice. And for once, others appreciate her voice, too. Well, I thought of that Sunday when I started to sing at church. This cold, that I hate having, made my okay alto voice sound all smoky and cool like Phoebe's. It was kind of weird singing hymns and worship songs in that kind of a voice, but it was cool none the less. I do hope, though, that next week I have my plain old healthy voice back. I will not, like the desperate Phoebes, go around licking sick people's coffee mugs to regain my smoky, cool voice. That would just be weird.

Woo Hoo! It's spring break!

I am so looking forward to a week without lessons planned. Spring break while homeschooling is different than any other spring break we've had because we tend to take time off and do things at other times, too. But this week, we've planned a whole week with no lessons. (Well, I am going to sneak in a little literature, but what they don't know won't hurt them, right?) We are all looking forward to getting outside in the warmish spring weather. Maybe we can go to the park or for long walks or downtown to the boardwalk. They boys can ride their bikes and we can get out in the yard to do spring cleanup and maybe play a little catch. It's going to be so nice to open the windows and let in the fresh spring breeze.


I think I'll open the blinds right now to let in the morning sun...





Oh, yeah. I forgot for a minute that we are in North Idaho. Happy spring break.

So, how's the weather?

I spent yesterday watching movies and trying to recover from a spring cold. The first movie I watched was Sense and Sensibility. I nearly laughed out loud when Mrs. Dashwood said to her youngest daughter,

"If you cannot think of anything appropriate to say, you should restrict your thoughts to the weather."

I am so going to start saying that instead of, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I might even say it with a British accent!

Why I Don't Go To The Mall

The other day I went to the mall with a friend* and since it was raining, we decided to duck into a salon and go through to the main part of the mall. When we stepped in, we apparently also stepped into 1987. All the women working there had bad blond dye jobs and really big hair. Kind of ironic at a beauty salon. And it smelled like perm solution and nail polish. But what was kind of weird was that they were also selling shoes and were having a big sale. I walked straight through and out into the main part of the mall, but my friend, who can't pass up a bargain, started shopping for shoes. So I stood outside the salon and waited for her. A few minutes later she stepped halfway out of the store to ask my advice about a pair of shoes. "They're cute," I said, "but shouldn't you pay for them before you take them out of the store." She headed back in to finish shopping and pay. Meanwhile, the blondest, biggest-hair beautician came out and told me that I needed to come back inside the salon because they were calling security and he wanted to talk to me. "Why," I asked. "Shoes were removed from the store before they were paid for," she answered none to kindly. I tried to explain that my friend was just asking my opinion and had all intentions of paying for the shoes. That didn't matter, I was told, if merchandise is removed from the store for any reason before it's paid for, they had to call security. Whatever. So I stood there surrounded by the Beach Blond Beautician Brigade (BBBB) while my friend continued shopping. I don't really blame her, though, it was a really good sale. While I was standing there, I spotted a few pairs of shoes that I might like. But I told them angrily, "I might have bought those and those, but certainly not now." Pretty soon the security guy came into the salon. He looked a little like a cross between Brad Pitt and Toby Keith (without the cowboy hat and guitar). I explained the situation to him. He laughed it off and said it wasn't a big deal. This did not make the BBBB very happy. But I didn't care what they thought. I just wanted to get out of there. (I only thought for a second about buying shoes. They were really cute and really cheap.) I told my friend, who was still shopping, that I would wait for her outside and to please pay before coming out this time. A little while later, she came out with bags of shoes, thankfully paid for...and then I woke up.

What a weird dream. Because, one, I rarely go to the mall and only then if absolutely necessary. Two, I've seen the mall cops and they do not look like the one in my dream. And three, the friend who was with me, who truly loves a good deal, would have had my back. She always does.

*This friend, who shall remain nameless, knows who she is. And I just have to say, the shoes you picked out were really cute. Can I borrow them? :)

Sigh

I've had a hard time thinking about writing this week with my heart still with Stellan's family. It's seems strange to care so much about a child and his family who I have never spoken to or met. But I pray for strangers all the time, even when I don't know their stories. I pray for families I hear about on the news. I pray when I see an ambulance or firetruck drive by with sirens blaring. I pray for those that I only know from their written words and who live all across the world. So knowing Stellan's story and reading his mama's words everyday makes me care for them even more. So I'll keep praying and hope you will, too.

This whole week I have been reminded of what a blessing healthy children are. I thank God everyday that I have three healthy, beautiful, amazing children. And when I see children who aren't so healthy, I say a quick prayer of thanks that mine are and for blessings on those who aren't. Last night when I was up with Julianna at 1:30 and we were rocking in the quiet dark of her room, I didn't feel one ounce of frustration about having to get up with her. I just sat there, staring at her sweet face, grateful that we were in her room, in our home, safe and sound.

I have also been encouraged by Stellan's sweet mama. She so obviously trusts the Lord and knows that he will do the right thing even if it's not what she thinks the right thing is. Wow! I truly don't know if I could be so gracious in her shoes. I hope I could. I hope I could give my sick child to God and trust him with all my heart. I hope and pray that I never have to find out how strong my faith is in such circumstances.

I have also seen the power of blogging this week. MckMama has thousands of people praying for her family all across the world because of her blog. There are bloggers out there who are doing all kinds of wonderful things for her and her family during this difficult time. What an amazing resource we are a part of.

So today I will continue praying. And I will hug my children a few extra times. And I will remember that He can do more than we can ask or even imagine.

Prayer Request

Please pray for Stellan. He is the 4 month old son of MckMama, another mommy blogger. He, and his parents, have had a long journey in his short life both before his birthday and since. He had a serious heart issue before he was born, but was born healthy a few months ago. Yesterday, though, his heart trouble returned and his little heart is beating up to 300 beats per minute. The doctors have yet to get it under control. Pray hard for this little one and his family. You can read all about him at http://www.mycharmingkids.net/.

Girls

So I got a phone call yesterday morning reminding me that I had signed up to host a small group of our church's youth group girls for dinner last night. I knew I had signed up and had been thinking about it and planning what to serve. Only I thought I had signed up for next Thursday. But even though I was a little caught off guard, I was still willing and able to host the dinner. I knew that I had a bunch of veggies to make a salad and the stuff for a chicken noodle casserole that I had been wanting to try. I even had a fresh loaf of french bread. And a box of brownie mix and a new container of vanilla ice cream. All the makings of a perfectly respectable dinner.

So a little before six o'clock, our guests arrived--three 7th grade girls and the children's minister, Allison. For the past few months, they have been visiting different homes to eat together and fellowship and pray. It's a super idea and I'm so glad that Allison is doing it and that I was able to be involved. A few minutes after arriving, one of the girls said, "Let me guess. We're having some kind of chicken casserole?" "Yep," I said with a smile. Apparently that is what they've had every week. But at least mine had noodles. They hadn't had one with noodles yet. They were all very polite and appreciative even if it was chicken again. (I didn't tell them that I had actually planned to have "make your own pizza" night. Maybe next time.)

I am not around teenage girls very often and even though I taught seventh grade last year, it's completely different out of the classroom. They were silly and funny and smart. They played off each other's silliness and made me smile. I tried to remember what I was like when I was thirteen. I think I was probably silly, but in a different way than these girls. I was also more reserved around adults, but I don't know if that was good or not. And when I was thirteen, there was no youtube or texting so the conversation was much different. One thing remains the same, though. One of the girls has a crush on Johnny Depp. What girl doesn't when they are a teenager...or a thirty something?

The best part of the whole evening was when the girls shared about how their week was going. I learned more about teenage girls in that half an hour than I could from reading twenty books on the subject. They have the same issues that I had at that age. School, friends, parents. They have good days and bad just like everyone. They worry about their families and their friends and their future. They love and live passionately. And did I mention that they are silly? But what came after that was priceless. We went around the circle and prayed. Each girl prayed for what was on her heart and each was sincere. Sincere in what they were feeling and sincere in their belief that God heard them and would be there for them. What a blessing to see young girls, so full of life and fun and with so much ahead of them, trusting the Lord and wanting to know and serve him better.

I couldn't help but think, as Julianna climbed all over me, that someday she will be thirteen. A teenage girl. A girl caught somewhere between child and woman. What will I do? What will I say to her? How will I encourage her to be who she was created to be? Who will she be in those few short years? Only time will tell. I guess for now I will pray even harder for her and for guidance as her mom. And I guess I should start collecting Johnny Depp posters.

And then there were two

Guess what I found this morning? Julianna's second tooth!! The first one is just big enough to see when she smiles, so out of curiosity I felt next to it this morning and there it was. The tiniest little ridge of a second tooth. This should make her very happy because she is taking after Adam in preferring baby sized finger foods to squishy baby food. Her favorites so far are banana, crackers, cheese, and of course, Cheerios. But she's also tried toast, cheese quesadillas, ham, strawberries, noodles, green beans, several varieties of Gerber baby snacks, and whatever Kathy has given her without me knowing. She is quite a good eater for only being in the 25th percentile in size. Maybe it's because she needs all that energy for her constant adventuring.

Does that mean I need more calories since I chase her around all day? Probably not.

Where'd you put the Oreos?

I don't like it when people mess with my routine. For the past several weeks the owners of my grocery store of choice have been remodeling. I don't like it. I don't like it that every time I go in there things are moved around. And I won't like it when it's finished because I had the store memorized and could get in and out quickly. Now it takes twice as long to shop because I have to zig zag back and forth through the store because my list is written in the order of how the store used to be arranged. I hope when the project is completed they give away maps of the new store layout so that I can study it and write my list accordingly. Sure, the finished section of new floors look nice and the spruced up produce department is cool, but even still I get a little agitated at all the change. And I'm not the only one. When I was in there Sunday afternoon, an elderly lady was being guided to the coffee when she asked, in a disgruntled voice, "How many more months am I going to need help to find what I need around here." The answer from the young employee, "I think it's supposed to be finished in April or May." But I will still shop there because it is the most convenient and, well, changing stores would be an even bigger change than relearning where the cereal is.

And then, Friday I ran into Costco to get strawberries, tangerines, and baby formula. I was in a hurry so I was darting back to the produce without even stopping at the book section. When I got to where the fruit is supposed to be I was surrounded by wine. What?!?! Now Costco is doing it to me. The fruit is where the wine used to be. It totally messed up my whole hurrying thing. What is this world coming to when two of the three stores I shop at are moving things around on me? At least the formula was where it was supposed to be.

If they start moving things around in Target, I don't know what I'll do.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle

We took the boys to see The Jungle Book performed by the Christian Youth Theater last week. I really enjoyed it and I think the rest of the family did, too. I was really impressed by some of the young people who were the actors. They were all between the ages of 8 and 18 and some of them were really good performers. The little girl who played young Angeli made me tear up a little with her solo. What a cutie. There were a few, though, who I think were probably being forced by their parents to participate. The looks on their faces were either from that or stage fright. But all in all it was a lot of fun to watch.

They presented the whole story from Mowgli getting lost to his adoption by the wolves to his reunion with his family years later. Three different boys played Mowgli through the stages of his life. One really sweet scene was when the teenage Mowgli and Angeli were singing about how each thinks is the right way to show affection to someone they like. Mowgli has learned from the animals how to show affection, so Angeli has to teach him how humans do it. For a few seconds she lowers her parasol in front of she and Mowgli and the audience can guess that they are kissing behind it. So that's how human do it?

After the show, I asked the boys if they thought they might want to be in a play. As expected, they said, "No." But a little while later, Josh said, "Mom, if I was going to be in The Jungle Book, I'd want to be the oldest Mowgli." "Oh, yeah," I replied, "Why?" His answer was, "Because he gets to do something with the girl behind the umbrella."

Oh, my. I think I'll encourage him to be Shere Khan. At least then he'll just get set on fire.

A one and a two...

We were invited to go to a performance by the Spokane Symphony Orchestra today with some of the students from the school we were at last year. We rarely turn down the opportunity for a field trip so we tagged along. On the way we stopped by the school to pick up three students to help with the carpooling. That made five boys with me in the car. I commented on how quiet they were. A second later, one of them started talking Pokemon with Josh and the conversation continued all the way there. One boy in the way back of the car was very intent on something that I assumed to be a handheld game of some sort. When I looked closer, I was surprised and pleased to see that he was reading the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.

The concert was great. The conductor, with the help of his musicians, introduced each of the instruments and explained how each worked. It was very interesting and held the attention of several hundred students in the audience. I was also impressed by how many students knew the four groups in the orchestra and the names of the instruments.

When we got back in the van, I asked each of the boys which instrument they would like to play.

Josh: "The bassoon."

Z: "The piano." (He already plays.)

Adam: "Drums." (I should have guessed.)

J: "What. Oh, I don't know, I wasn't paying attention." (He was the one with the book.)

And then there was C. When I asked him, he said, "None." "Well, what if you had to?" I asked. "I wouldn't," he answered. "What if you had to either play an instrument or go to prison?" He said, "I'd go to prison." Wouldn't it just be easier to play the triangle?

And by the way, I'd want to play the harp...to go with my angelic personality.

Missed

This morning something happened that a few years ago I thought would never happen to me again. Something that when it happened before was slightly annoying but now I look back on with fond memories. Something that often interrupted my only moment of peace and quiet most days. Something that I didn't know I was missing until it happened again. What could it possibly be you ask? It's tiny little fingers appearing under the bathroom door when I'm in there. Tiny little fingers attached to tiny little arms attached to a tiny little body that, on hands and knees, had followed me down the hall without me knowing. And this morning when I saw those tiny little fingers, do you know what I did? I laughed. I laughed right out loud sitting there. Not for one second was it in the least bit annoying. I just laughed and soaked it in. One, because tiny little fingers are so adorable wherever they are, even peeking under the bathroom door. And two, because I know how quickly those fingers grow and no longer follow me wherever I go.

Now I look forward to the next step which, of course, is little toys flying under the door. With the boys it was plastic lizards and snakes and dinosaurs. What will it be with Jules? Barbie shoes and Polly Pocket pieces and barrettes? Who knows? But when it happens, and it will happen, I'll let you know.

Until then, I'll enjoy moments like these that are oh so fleeting.

37

Two years ago when I turned 35, I wrote this list of 35 things I had learned over my 35 years of life. Here I am two years later turning 37. Two years older and two years smarter. (Well, maybe only a year and a half smarter.) So I thought I'd go back to see if I have any new insights (found in italics) on these things that I have learned. And, of course, add two more things that I've learned over the last two years.

*Sunny days make me feel better than gray days. The sunnier, the better.
*A child’s laughter is the best sound on earth. And it always makes me laugh, too.
*Good meals are best shared with good friends. Especially if it's followed by dessert.
*God’s timing is perfect. But is very rarely my idea of perfect.
*Change little boys’ diapers as fast as possible. And do the same for little girls.
*Father (and Mother) really do know best. And they know not to say, "I told you so."
*It’s fun being married to my childhood sweetheart. Shared memories are a gift.
*Always order the combination plate (and be prepared to share). It takes more than one item to make a combination plate. Always go for at least three.
*God did not give me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. And the greatest of these is love.
*Wear pajamas as much as possible. Which is one of the great things about homeschooling.
*Summer vacation is best spent on the beach. And with kids.
*A clean house makes me feel good. I wish I had a maid.
*Prayer is my most powerful tool. And my most used tool.
*There’s nothing better than a good nap. Absolutely nothing.
*Sisterhood gets better with age. And is one of my most treasured blessings.
*Marriage to a godly husband is a great gift. Especially in times of trial.
*Bugs aren’t scary at all in the hands of a five year old. Except for spiders.
*Music soothes the savage beast and the grumpy child. Which are often very much alike.
*Going to the movies alone is good. And happens far to infrequently.
*Teaching children (especially my own) is very rewarding. And each moment is priceless.
*Grace is amazing. And makes all the difference.
*Sister-friends are the best friends. Now and always.
*Chasing butterflies is good exercise for body and soul. Especially the soul.
*Sometimes I need help. But don't like to ask for it.
*Motherhood is wonderfully scary. And just gets more wonderful and more scary.
*Health is underrated. Physical, mental, and spiritual.
*The Lord truly works in mysterious ways. Julianna!
*Ice water is my favorite drink. With huckleberry lemonade a close second.
*Laughter really is the best medicine. And the doses are easy to swallow.
*The book is always better than the movie. Always.
*Eating cold watermelon on a hot summer day is the best. Mmm...watermelon.
*Family is why we are here. Family is why I am here.
*God’s ways are best. Amen.
*God’s ways are best. Amen.
*God’s ways are best. Amen.

And now for two new ones:

*Having a baby when you are of advanced maternal age is amazing.
*The Lord works for the good of those who serve him.

Hot!

Update: Julianna is getting better. She had several days of high fever and wanted to do nothing but sleep. The fever finally broke after a few days of antibiotics. Yesterday she was more active and even smiled a little. We were able to take her to church this morning and she did fine other than being a little cranky from missing her morning nap. Now if she'd just start eating again she'll be on her way to her silly little self. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

Julianna woke up with a slight fever yesterday morning. After the new tooth, I thought maybe she was getting another. She was warm, kind of sleepy, and didn't eat much all day. Since it was family dinner night at my mom's house and I didn't want to take her in case it was something contagious, Arrty volunteered to stay home with her so that I could take the boys for dinner. When I got home and picked her up, she was burning up. I knew that she was at least 102 degrees. Mom's know these things. When I took her temperature, it was 102.5 under her arm which means you have to add a degree making it 103.5. Yikes! She also had red spots all over her body which I attributed to the fever. I gave her some Tylenol and after a while her fever went down (but not away) and she even got down off my lap to play a little. But all through the night, she was feverish and miserable and didn't sleep much. So this morning when her fever was still between 102 and 103 I decided to take her in to the doctor. He said that the fever, rash, and redness in her eyes made him think it was either a viral infection or a strep infection. (She also has an ear infection in one ear.) So he put her on antibiotics which will hopefully help her get better quickly. He then did something that I wish doctors wouldn't do. He said, "I don't want to worry you but her symptoms are also associated with a rare disease called..." (I don't remember what he said. I was too busy praying.) Why do they do that?!?! If I come back in a few days and she's not better or getting worse, then tell me about the rare disease!

As of now, she has had her first dose of antibiotic and a dose of Tylenol and is finally sleeping peacefully with only a slight fever. And can I just say that there is nothing more worrisome and sad than a sick baby.

Please pray for Julianna over the next few days that the antibiotics work and that she's back to her silly, sweet self soon. Thanks.

Let Her Eat Steak!

Julianna has a tooth!

Finally. I have been looking for it for months because her brothers both had teeth before they were 6 months old. She's 8 1/2 months old. Thursday night she was fussy and crying which isn't like her at all. She is normally really happy and content. She also had a slight fever this week and didn't seem to have as much of an appetite as usual. I've been feeling around on her bottom gums for teeth for awhile and I think she was getting sick of it because most of the time she'd stick her tongue out to push my finger away. But yesterday when she was in the bathtub distracted by the splashing and the floating frog toys, I reached into her cute little mouth and there it was. The tiniest little hint of a toothy ridge. I was so excited and called the rest of the family in to tell them the news. Everyone cheered and smiled.

And once again, Jules was probably wondering what all the fuss was about.

Babyness

I didn't think it would happen so fast. I remembered that it would happen, just not yet. This time of following a baby around the house making sure she doesn't put anything in her mouth that shouldn't be there. Making sure she doesn't pull herself up on something that will tip over with her. Making sure that she is safe in all of her new adventures and wanderings. Julianna started crawling only a few weeks ago and now she is going everywhere. We close all the doors to rooms we don't want her in, but even still she finds plenty to keep the rest of the family hopping to make sure she, and her surroundings, stay safe. At the moment she has pulled herself to standing and is busy pulling dvds off the movie shelf. They were in alphabetical order. Now she's laughing as she drops another. Now she's sitting and shaking a rattle as hard as she can. Now she's crawling toward me...pulling up on the chair...and now I'm back after some snuggling and giggling. So, yes, I know all about the following the baby thing. It just seems that since it was so long ago that my boys were babies, I'm a little surprised when baby things happen. And that they happen so quickly.

Here are some other baby things I've been reminded of lately.

*Cheerios that have been sucked on then dropped in the seat of the high chair stick like they've been super glued.
*Things like magazines or grocery lists will become a mid-morning snack if left in reach of a 8 1/2 month old.
*There's this game called "how many times will mommy pick up the toy I just dropped before she realizes that we're playing this game."
*Babies learn things on their own. For example, Julianna knows not only what dancing is, but how to do it when she hears the word.
*No matter what you put in front of things you don't want a baby to get to, they figure out a way to get there.
*Even if you have a basket full of really fun toys in the living room, baby's favorite toy is the remote control.

And some things I've learned about Julianna in particular.

*She loves music. (It must have been that Def Leppard concert she went to six weeks before she was born.)
*She especially loves the birthday song.
*She loves it when other people clap but she will only clap if no one else is clapping.
*She is ticklish under her arms.
*She loves yogurt but not chicken noodle dinner baby food.
*She enjoys chocolate. (I gave her the tiniest taste of my valentine Hershey bar and she tried to dive out of my arms to get to the rest of it on the table.)
*And just when I thought it wasn't possible, she gets cuter every day.

Heart Day

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. But this year, I haven't had to spend time this week helping the boys fill out little cards for classmates. I haven't had to fill treat bags with tiny chocolate bars and lollipops. I haven't had to put the names of kindergartners on Care Bear valentines. I haven't had to plan a party that, regardless of the plan, would include 3 1/2 minutes of frantic 5 year olds putting cards in each others decorated kleenex boxes, 6 minutes of oohing and ahhing over said cards, and then 10 minutes of a game I like to call "how much sugar can a kindergartner ingest in one sitting." And I've missed it. I miss days like this when I know that you can feel the excitement. Days that go beyond reading and counting. Days when the bond between teacher and student grows deeper simply because of the valentine that is lovingly chosen by each student especially for me. I even miss that feeling at the end of a party day consisting of one part excitement, one part sugar rush, and 98 parts exhaustion. It's days like today when I miss being a teacher.

Okay, so I'm still a teacher. I'm always a teacher. But this year our valentine's party will consist of picking valentines for each other off the rack at Target, showing them to each other, then putting them back. This is a tradition Arrty and I started many years ago and this year will be expanded to include the kids. We will also go to the valentine aisle and each pick out a treat. Then we'll go to lunch and a movie. Then stop on the way home to pick up the heart shaped pizza that I bought in the school fundraiser and head home for games and family time. This year I have four valentines. The one I'm married to and the three we've created.

So, yes, I miss party days. Crazy as that sounds to the other teachers reading this. It even sounds a little crazy to me. And just in case you read this before your valentine's party, Kathy, Katrina, and Marci, eat a heart shaped sugar cookie covered with pink frosting for me.

Reason #27...

...why not to leave a laundry basket of clean towels in the living room.



Your child will spill a bowl of chicken noodle soup into them while he's eating lunch.

Exactly

Me: Adam, go take a shower.

Adam: I don't want to take a shower.

Me: Adam, go take a shower.

Adam: Why? Showers don't even do anything.

Me: giving him the look

Adam: Well, except get you a little bit clean.

Me: Exactly.

Smurfy

Yesterday we were walking through the toy aisles at Target when all of a sudden I exclaimed, "Smurfs!" The boys thought I was crazy, which is nothing new, until I pointed out the little blue plush Smurfs on the shelf. I then explained to them what Smurfs were and told them to pick one out. I couldn't resist. They each chose a Smurf and I grabbed a Smurfette for Jules.* Then this morning I googled Smurf and guess what? There is a new Smurf movie in the works. The release date is December 2010. Apparently it takes a while to come up with all that smurfy dialogue.

Then this morning I was flipping channels on tv and saw Strawberry Shortcake, Care Bears, and two versions of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was right. I guess the 80's really did have the best cartoons.

*Julianna was more interested in the tag on the Smurfette than the Smurfette itself. She was chewing on the tag while she rode in the cart so I took it from her so that there was at least a partial upc code to scan when we got to the register. Well, she did not like that one bit. She screamed and threw herself around in the cart seat like I've never seen before. I tried to give her the toy we had brought for her to play with, but she wouldn't have anything to do with it. She was only happy when she was once again chewing on the Smurfette tag. (Note to self: Take the tags off toys before giving them to Julianna.)

Tagged

Alyson tagged me with this. I was supposed to bold the ones I have done and I took it a step further and asterisked (*) the ones I would like to do. Anyone who stops by and wants to do it yourself, feel free. (Kathy and Marci, you can post it in my comments if you want.)


1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars

3. Played in a band

4. Visited Hawaii*

5. Watched a meteor

6. Given to charity

7. Been to Disneyland (actually is was Disneyworld)

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris*

13. Watched a lightning storm

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty*

18. Grown your own vegetables (I can't even keep a cactus alive.)

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France*

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Drank an entire Sonic Route 66 by yourself

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice*

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise (Does a lake cruise count?)

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person*

34. Traced your family tree at least 4 generations*

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Learned a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied*

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person*

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David*

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt* (We were there but didn't wait to see it erupt.)

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant*

44. Swam with a dolphin

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance (unfortunately)

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person*

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris*

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been IN a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Cut your own hair

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies (I've bought a lot, though.)

62. Gone whale watching*

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial*

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square*

74. Driven a stick shift

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London*

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person*

80. Published a book*

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem*

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House*

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous (Patty Duke went through my line at Kmart once.)

92. Read an entire series of books by one author

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby (3)

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Seen the Pacific Ocean

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Seen Mount Rushmore in person (twice)

101. Learned to play an instrument (the recorder)

On The Move

Julianna has been trying really hard to crawl the last couple of weeks. She would get on her hands and knees and rock back and forth. She would even move her hands ahead a little and then dive to get a toy that was just out of reach. But Tuesday it happened. Hand, knee, hand, knee, forward movement. She crawled! And since then she has been practicing and can go quite a distance. I'm not sure that she really understands why the rest of the family claps and says, "Yeah, Julianna," or "You're crawling!" She's just happy that she can get to all those places she could only see before. So here's what that means. She can more easily and quickly move around the living room. I need to double check baby proofing. She can get into the kitchen now. I have to sweep every day. She can get to her brother's toys. I need to explain again why legos must be put away. She is growing. I have to treasure every second.

And apparently, enough of this...

...and this...
...leads to this.
The hole was tiny in the morning when she got up, but after just a little while of baby acrobatics, it grew to this. Oh, yeah. She's also ready for the next size of jammies.

Saturday

What I'd like to do today is curl up with a blanket and a good book.

But what I've done instead is...

take care of a sick baby
unload and reload the dishwasher
vacuum
dust
sweep
mop
organize the boys' school stuff for next week
wash, dry, and put away three loads of laundry
put away groceries
feed two constantly hungry boys
make chocolate chip cookies with said boys (okay, that one was fun)
check and reply to email
read a few blogs
research cloth diapers online

Oh, yeah. And write one itsy, bitsy blog post.

That's a lot of soup...

I was making dinner the other night and needed to open a can of olives. As I watched the can spin around on my electric can opener, I realized that I had received that can opener as a wedding gift. 16 1/2 years ago. I figure I open about 5 cans a week times 198 weeks of marriage. That's 990 cans that have been opened by that can opener. Then I began to think of other things that I still use that I got as wedding gifts. The blender, toaster, kitchen knives, silverware, dish towels, popcorn popper, mixer, crock pot, and several mixing bowls are some of the things that came to mind as I stood in the kitchen. Then I thought about things that are used in the rest of the house. Like the clock that hangs on the living room wall. And the bath towels and wash cloths in the hall closet. And various frames that hang throughout the house. It seems amazing that so many things have lasted so long. The towels are starting to get worn and my crock pot hasn't had a knob for a long time, but everything still does what it's supposed to. So, I'm thinking about starting a new tradition. When a couple celebrates their 20th wedding anniversary, I think they should get an anniversary shower. A big party to celebrate their marriage complete with balloons and cake and gifts. All their friends can shower them with congratulations and new kitchen appliances. I only have three and a half years to get this trend started. Because I figure that's about when my can opener will give out.

Woo Hoo!

So this morning I drove into town to pick up the boys who had both spent last night away from home. After I picked up Josh, I decided to stop by McDonald's to get breakfast. Some friends from church work there and happened to be working this morning. They asked me if we had signed up for the drawings that they were having to celebrate their grand re-opening. When I told them we hadn't, they gave us the forms to fill out. I filled out four, one for each of us who is old enough to know what a prize is. On the way home, I was thinking how cool it would be if we won the big prize. But I didn't think we would. How often do you really win in those kinds of drawings? Well, a few hours after we got home, the phone rang and it was a lady from McDonald's. And guess what? WE WON!! And guess what we won? We won an XBOX360!!! I can't even tell you how excited the boys are. Thrilled is an understatement. So this evening when I go back into town for something else, I am going back to McDonald's to pick up our new XBOX360!!!

I knew that all those trips to McDonald's would pay off someday.

Ramblings

I was holding Abby (my new niece) the other day when I went to visit my sister. My mom was holding Julianna. After about 30 seconds, Jules decided that she didn't like that one bit. We had to switch babies. When she was the baby on my lap, she was fine.

Speaking of Abby, she gets more adorable every time I see her. She is such a blessing.

During that same visit Aidan transformed himself into the cutest pirate ever. Even cuter than Jack Sparrow.

Speaking of Aidan, he has also informed me that he no longer wants to trade his baby for Julianna. He told me that he was afraid his sister was going to look like a green alien and since she doesn't and is cute after all, he'll keep her.

Josh and Adam went to take their Idaho Reading Indicator tests yesterday and both scored way above grade level. Good news for me as mom and teacher.

Speaking of reading, I bought the new "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" book for the boys the other day at Costco. That evening, I picked it up, turned to the middle, and started reading it. I laughed out loud so many times that I went back and started from the beginning. Now I want to go back and read the first two in the series.

Julianna is so close to crawling. She gets on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth. Sometimes she even gets on her hands and feet like Mowgli. And even though she doesn't quite have the whole crawling thing down, she is still able to get around pretty good by rolling and scooting.

Speaking of Julianna, I had a very strange thing happen last Sunday when I was teaching the cradle roll Bible class. Jules and Lily were the only two babies in class and in the middle of singing songs about ducks, I looked at Jules and had to remind myself that this beautiful, sweet baby was mine. Some days it seems so surreal.

Awww...

Josh: "I feel privileged just be able to know Julianna."

Mmmm...smooshed bananas

This morning I was feeding Julianna her breakfast of baby oatmeal and Gerber stage 2 banana baby food. The smell of the banana mush suddenly made me remember eating it when I was little. Only I remember eating it when I was 4 or 5 years old. Too old to be eating baby food. Maybe it was when my sister was a baby and mom shared some of her food with me. Or maybe it was because I wanted it and mom obliged. I was a little spoiled. And still am. Even now she makes me my own personal sized pea salad without onions. She's the best.

Who Knew?

Who doesn't know that their own child can sit up on her own? ME! Yesterday I was changing Julianna's diaper and sat her up on the changing table and let go for just a second to see what she would do. And she sat there looking at me and grinning! Since then I have tried several other times and it wasn't just a fluke. She is still a little wobbly but undoubtedly can sit up on her own. How did I miss that? Maybe I've been too busy watching her rocking on her hands and knees about to crawl. Sitting and crawling? What's next?

Numbers

16.5--the number of pounds my sweet daughter weighs

7--the number of times Josh laughed out loud during "Bedtime Stories"

0--the number of times I got up with kids last night (yeah!)

2--the number of loads of laundry I did today

14--the number of minutes Adam laid on the bed with me this morning while I read and he played his gameboy

1--the number of books I read in the last 24 hours (Stargirl)

3--the number of pacifiers and teethers I fished out from behind the bed today

27--the number of minutes I held my sweet niece on my lap yesterday

27--the number of times that I smiled at my sweet niece yesterday as I held her

9--the number of things I learned about ancient Rome this week while homeschooling

6--the number of times I said, "Yes, you have to write all your spelling words."

26--the number of spelling words to be written

1.8--the number of seconds it takes Julianna to roll across the living room floor

1.9--the number of seconds it takes Julianna to find something that she shouldn't have

22--the number of times I smiled today because the sun was shining

100--the number of times I have been blessed today

Sugar and Spice

There have been many, many children in my life over the years. It all started when I was a teenager and took babysitting jobs. Then for several years my mom and I owned a preschool and cared for more kids than I can count. Then I started teaching and taught kids from kindergarten through the eighth grade. I have also taught numerous Bible classes and have even done a few stints as a Vacation Bible School teacher. All of the children that I have come in contact with have somehow influenced my life. Some have given me good stories to tell. Some have taught me more than any college professor ever could. Some made me glad that I could send them home at the end of the day. And some touched my heart.

Then there are the children of my sister-friends. They are so very special to me for two reasons. One, because they are all great kids. And two, because I love their mothers so much that the feeling naturally spills over onto them. I share with their moms the pride and happiness that come along the way. I share in their lives now and hopefully for a long time to come.

Then, of course, there are my own children. Oh my goodness. I never, never could have imagined a love like I have for these three little souls that have been graciously sent to live with me for a life time. First there was Josh. I was scared before he was born because being a mommy was something that I wanted but didn't know anything about. I read all the books. But nothing could prepare me for the reality of having a child. Or for the feeling of having my heart walk around outside my body. Then 19 months later Adam came along. I wondered how I could possibly love another child the way I loved Josh. Knowing that Adam was a boy before he was born helped me bond with him during the busy-ness of having a one year old. And when he was born, even though I thought it wasn't possible, my heart again left me to reside with someone else... this tiny, bald person that I hardly knew but loved more than life itself. Then seven years later it happened again. I remember lying on the operating table last June and hearing for the first time, the cry of my daughter. She was loud. And I was in love. Before I even saw her face I loved her. And in that moment my heart fled for a third time. Every single day I thank God for three beautiful, healthy, happy children. Is it always easy? No. Is it always fun? Not always. Is it always amazing? Yes.

And then there are two other children in my life who I could only love more if they were my own. One is my nephew, Aidan. He is amazing. He is smart and funny and creative and imaginative and sweet. He surprises me in a new and wonderful way every time I am blessed to spend time with him. There is some kind of special aunt love that makes me feel about Aidan like I feel about no one else. It was only he who brought out that unique feeling. Until Friday. Friday I met Abigail Mae, my brand new niece. She already amazes me. She amazes me because of her sweet little face and round cheeks. She amazes me because she has more hair than her seven month old cousin. She amazes me because of the miracle that she is. And she amazes me because she is part of my sister who is my best friend. I am so looking forward to getting to know this new child in my life. To finding out who she is and who she will become. To watching her grow up with Julianna and seeing them play together and be best friends. To being someone she can come to and count on and laugh with. I am already planning our first slumber party. We will watch movies and eat popcorn and bake cookies and paint each other's fingernails. Abby and Jules will do their mommies' hair and then Ada and I will do theirs. And then when things start to settle down, Ada and I will sit together in wonder as we watch our little girls whispering and giggling together. And I will reach over and take my sweet sister's hand in mine and we will remember the day Abby was born and tear up just a little. And smile a lot.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I was in the waiting room at the hospital waiting to see my sister and new niece. I was sitting there with Julianna playing happily on my lap. She is absolutely adorable and often gets noticed by strangers. About the fifth person to notice her was an elderly (and as you will see, slightly confused) lady who was out walking the halls. She came over to get a closer look and asked, "How old is he*?" To which I replied, "SHE'S seven months old." (She was wearing a green camouflaged sweatshirt with pink roses on it and pink pants.) "Oh," she said, "Are you her...(wait for it)... GRANDMOTHER?" After the shock wore off, I informed her that I was, in fact, her mother. I know that I am of advanced maternal age (36), but that is ridiculous!

*It doesn't matter if Julianna is dressed in pink from head to toe and covered with a pink blanket, holding a doll, somebody (usually an older lady) asks if she is a boy or girl. It's very strange.

Bedtime

This is how bedtime goes in our house. Teeth brushing, goodnight hugs for Jules (if she's still up) and dad, reading and/or singing, prayers, tucking in, goodnight hugs for me, Josh making sure his blankets are perfectly aligned, Adam making sure all his stuffed animals are in the right order, more hugs, me saying, "Sweet dreams," me turning off the light. Adam saying, "Mom." Me saying, "What?" Adam saying, "Goodnight." Me saying, "Goodnight." Again.

And just when you think it's over...someone is up to use the bathroom. And then the other is up to get a drink. Which reminds the other that he, too, is thirsty. More goodnights. More hugs.

Then since Adam got out of bed, he needs me to come straighten out his blanket. More goodnights.

And just when you think it's over...
one of the boys: "Mom."
me: "What?"
one of the boys: "Can you lay with us?"
me: *sigh* (At this point I really just want to sit with a glass of ice water and watch The Mentalist or Grey's Anatomy in peace.)

But I get up and go in to their room anyway. There was a time not so long ago when I wouldn't go in to lay with them. "You are 7 (or 9) years old," I would say, "You should be able to go to sleep on your own." Then one night a few weeks ago I did go in with them and as I lay looking at the faces of my sons in the dark, I realized that any night now could be the last time they ask me to lay with them. The last night that they need me to be there as they fall asleep. The last night that I get to watch as their eyes close, and their breathing slows, and their sweet faces relax into sleep. And when that night comes, I don't want my answer to be "no." So I go in to lay with Adam, who scoots over to the wall, looks at me and smiles. As his eyes close, I pray for him. His future. His protection and health and happiness. His soul. The little girl who will someday be his wife. That he will use his sense of humor and love of fun to help him in his life. Then after a few minutes I walk across the room to lay with Josh, who scoots as close to me as he can, looks at me and smiles. As his eyes close, I pray for him. His future. His protection and health and happiness. His soul. The little girl who will someday be his wife. That he will use his leadership abilities and soft heart to help him in his life. Then after a few minutes I start to get up but Josh asks me to scratch his back. I do and after a few more minutes I really do get up and walk to the door. "Mom," comes a voice. "Yes," I answer. "I love you," says the voice. "I love you, too. Sweet dreams," I say. Again.

Gone

So why is it that all through every day I have these brilliant blog posts go through my mind and then I sit down to write and everything is gone? I know that they are still in there somewhere, I just can't find them. Oh well, maybe tomorrow.

Ramblings

I am so ready to move somewhere with NO snow.

Julianna is 7 months old today.

The Christmas tree is officially gone.

This is the last week day of Christmas break.

Only one week until we meet the newest member of our family. (My niece!)

I saw and loved "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" this week.

I no longer need an alarm clock. Julianna wakes up at 5:45 on the dot every morning.

Therefore, I need a nap.

Happy New Year!

May yours be filled with blessings too numerous to count, peace that passes understanding, and moments full of laughter and love.

Skillz

I have acquired a new skill over the last few weeks. I can now tell the outside temperature based on the slushiness of my Diet Coke being stored in the garage. I can get within a degree or two every time.

(Having nice, cold Diet Coke without using up all my fridge space is the one and only good thing about winter.)

Florida, Anyone?

Or Arizona? Or Aruba? Or Hawaii? Yeah, Hawaii sounds good.

I Believe

We've never really done the Santa thing with our kids. They just see him as a character from books and movies. I asked them about it this year. If they wished we had Santa come to our house. They said no. They were fine with things the way they've been. "Besides," said Adam, "There's no way he could get to all the houses in the world in one night." So we believe in the spirit of Santa, but not so much the guy in red himself.

But after this year, I'm seriously considering rethinking Santa. You see, he has been visiting us for weeks. Our family has been affected by the economic downturn and somebody told Santa. He has sent envelopes with money and gift certificates. He has delivered boxes of food and gifts. And on Christmas Eve he outdid himself by leaving on our front porch boxes and bags of gifts for our family. I was completely overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of our own personal Santa (or Santas). This Santa knows us well because the sizes were right on the clothes and the gifts for the kids were perfect. There were games and puzzles and toys and even a few very thoughtful things for Arrty and I. We have played lots of hands of Uno Spin and Adam is working on his puzzle as I type. And Julianna is completely in love with the blue elephant and butterfly doll that she received. (I saw the same doll while shopping and almost bought it for her because it is so cute and perfect for her since her room is decorated with butterflies.) For a brief moment I started to wrack my brain to try to figure out who could have done such a wonderful thing for our family, then I decided that the gift tags said Santa, so I would just go with that. I hope, though, that somehow all those who have been so very kind to us know that we are truly grateful.

And I hope that next year, we'll be able to do the same for someone else.

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I enjoyed seeing Marmitetoasty's Christmas tree ornaments so much that I decided to share a few of ours. Our tree is covered with all kinds of ornaments. Some are handmade by the kids. Some were given to us as gifts. And some were bought during our traditional ornament shopping trip.

Adam made this one when he was 4.

And he made this one in kindergarten.

Josh made this one in 1st grade.

And he made this one when he was 5.

This is our 2008 family ornament.

Adam's 2008 Bumble ornament.

Josh's 2008 Santa fisherman ornament.

Julianna's 2008 skating Care Bear ornament.

My angel in an egg ornament. It must be at least 25 years old.

We all love to open the ornament box and remember Christmases past. And look forward to all the Christmases to come.

Merry Christmas

I really should be frantically wrapping presents. But I'm instead here blogging. I just had to say Merry Christmas to those of you who may happen to stop by. I hope you have the best Christmas ever!

A rose by any other name...

I have encountered a problem that I wasn't expecting when we named Julianna. Some people pronounce it Juli-aw-na. But it's Juli-anna. Just like it looks. Don't get me wrong. Juliawna is a fine name, but it's not my daughter's name. So what do I do? So far I have let it go if it's someone we rarely see, like the doctor. If it's someone who we see often I just make sure to say her name correctly a few times hoping they'll catch on. I honestly never thought there would be a problem with the pronunciation or spelling of her name. (Apparently you can spell it Juliana, too.) I hope that she doesn't spend her life correcting people about her name. I can just see her in 15 years rolling her eyes and saying, "It's Juli-ANNA."

Snow Day

I make the rules and I say that if schools get a snow day, homeschoolers do, too. At least these homeschoolers do. Besides, it's going to take my students and co-teacher all day to dig us out.

This is Arrty standing next to his Explorer. I'm glad he's the one with the shovel and I'm the one with the camera.



The boys are trying to make a path out to the dog's house. The snow is up to their waists. We also use the swing set to measure our snow. It's well past the seats already.

They're making progress slowly but surely. By the way, the dog was in the house last night so he isn't snowed in his dog house. You can't see him but he was trying to "help" with the path. He's a huge chocolate lab and as he ran through the snow, all I could see was the top of his head.

Ramblings

*We went to a Christmas party at Santa's house this week. Really. He and Mrs. Claus are in our Bible study group. Check out the link. It was great fun and even better fellowship. There was dinner and a gift exchange and "Frosty the Snowman" read by Santa himself.

*I have discovered that there is a magical moment each night when, if I put Julianna to bed after prayers and songs, she will go happily to sleep all on her own. If, however, I miss that moment she isn't nearly so happy about the whole thing.

*Speaking of Julianna, she had her 6 month check-up this week. She is 25 inches long and weighs just under 15 pounds. She is in the 25th percentile for height and 20th for weight. Lots of people tell me that she's tiny, but I guess I didn't realize it since I've known her since she really was tiny. But she is perfectly healthy and right on track with her development.

*I went Christmas shopping this week and was once again surprised at all the grumpy people. Even those who were also Christmas shopping. I was so not grumpy. How could I be when I have people to buy presents for and a little bit of money to buy presents with?

*After the boys helped Arrty's grandma move yesterday, his aunt Cathy took us all out to dinner at Tomato Street. We don't eat there often and I always forget how yummy it is. I had tomato basil soup with garlic bread and chicken parmigiana with fettuccine Alfredo. Mmm. I ate the leftovers for breakfast, but I wish I had more for right now.

*I am feeling a little overwhelmed this week because even though our family has gone from 2 1/2 jobs this time last year to half a job now, we are still being provided for by our heavenly Father. We have a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs and a pantry and fridge full of food to feed our children. And we are so very blessed by the people in our lives who love us.

Overheard...

...while the boys were watching a movie.

Adam: "She's a bad singer."
Josh: "It's opera. It's supposed to be bad."

Bloggers

I was just explaining to Adam why Julianna can't have stuffed animals to sleep with. That it's not safe for her yet. To the boy who has no less than 20 stuffed animals in his bed, that made no sense. He said, "Where did you hear that? You don't always have to believe what bloggers say!"

Really? Bloggers? I thought I could always believe bloggers.

6 Months

Julianna turned 6 months old yesterday. 6 months. Half a year. I can't believe it. She does something new everyday it seems. I think because I'm an older mom this time I am appreciating this whole baby thing more. And because she's our last. Really this time.

When I was pregnant I knew that I was going to breastfeed even though it certainly isn't my favorite part of mommyhood. I was hoping to make it to 5 or 6 months with her like I had with the boys. Then she was born. The first day was easy. She was a good nurser from the beginning and I was more confident and less anxious about the whole thing. The second day was not easy. She wanted to eat all the time. And when I say all the time, I mean ALL THE TIME. I remember praying that second night, when she was attached to me yet again, for my milk to come in so that she would be full for a few minutes. And of course, it did and she was. But at that point I was a little worried. I told myself to stick it out for a week. Then when I made it that week, I thought I'd try one more week. Then I thought I would shoot for a month. By the time she was a month old, we were both old hat at the whole thing.

So here we are at 6 months and I'm trying to decide what to do. I have reached my original goal. But now it's so easy. And convenient. And free. And Jules doesn't have any teeth yet.

So I'm thinking maybe just a little longer. A couple more weeks. Or at least until that first tooth appears.

Ughh!

Julianna has another cold. She was better for a whole 4 days. Now there is more coughing and stuffiness. Where did she get it? None of the rest of us are sick. I'm usually not overly paranoid, but I'm wanting to keep her home and away from the world just to keep her well. Poor little thing.