Here Comes the Sun

Every time I'm tempted to complain about the heat, I remind myself about the miles and miles of snow that was in our yard a few short months ago. And I remember that at least I don't have to shovel the heat to get to my car.

Kids

Maybe it's sleep deprivation. Or maybe it's the fact that I spend my entire day solely taking care of my children. But I really can't think of a thing to write about other than the kids.

First, I just have to say that Josh and Adam are the world's greatest big brothers. Even after two weeks, they still can't stay away from their sister. They think she's the cutest, sweetest baby ever. They fight over who gets to sit by her and hold her and kiss her first. They help me any way they can and even go so far as to getting the diaper changing stuff ready (as long as they don't have to touch the dirty one). I just have to wonder how long this will last. I'm thinking that when Julianna is 6 and Josh is 14 and Adam is 13, there might not be so much doting. But maybe there will be. It will certainly be fun to watch.

And Julianna. It still feels like a dream that she's here at all. I wake up to her sounds at 2:00am and look down at this little girl with the face of an angel and lungs of an opera singer and wonder where in the world she came from. The whole journey with her has seemed somehow surreal--from the pregnancy to delivery to now. And I look forward to getting to know her and finding out just why God sent her to us.

So now we have to say "kids" instead of "boys." As in, "Are the kids ready for church?" And I get to play dress up with my little doll-faced girl in all her piles of pink. And I get to watch as my family, every one of us, changes a little each day. And I get to see, in the faces of my children, how blessed I truly am.

Today's Schedule

1. Change baby's diaper
2. Feed baby
3. Burp baby
4. Rock baby
5. Repeat 100 times

Five

Julianna is peacefully sleeping...on her brother's lap. Neither of the boys can get enough of her after a week of her being here. They are always wanting to kiss or hold or talk to her. And they even want to help change diapers, which before her arrival, they were determined to avoid at any cost. They are in love with this little girl that they have waited so long for. And I love that they feel nothing but love for her right now.

She is officially one week old. It doesn't seem possible. It seems like just yesterday she was still in my belly hiccuping the day away. But she's here in all her lovely baby-ness. She is soft and sweet and beautiful. She is everything I knew she would be and more. She keeps me up at night and keeps me busy feeding and changing her, but I am loving it. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do everything that I needed to do and that sleep deprivation would be the end of me. But I'm actually feeling pretty good and, since she will by my last baby, I am trying to soak in every second of being the mother of a newborn again.

She was born with minimal difficulty, considering the whole abdominal surgery thing. I admit that I was pretty scared as the morning went on with all the preparations and at one point had to give myself a little pep talk. I said something like, "She's in there and she's coming out. Say a little prayer and get in the operating room." Which is what I did. The anticipation was the worst part. The reality was tough, but I made it through and most importantly so did Julianna. And after two and a half days in the hospital, we made it home. What a relief to be in my own home without nurses poking and prodding at all hours.

So, here we are, our little family of five. And so far it's been good. The bonding and the planning and the loving. And I know that it will only get better.

She's Here

Julianna Grace was born Monday, June 2nd at 8:04am. She weighed 7lb 14oz and was 21 inches long.

And now she wants to eat. Be back later.

Ready Or Not

This very well might be my last blog as a mother of two. In a few short days, I will have three children. Two boys who I can't remember life without. And a new daughter who will, I'm sure, turn my life upside down once more.

Early in the morning, if I'm lying on my side in just the right position, it doesn't even feel like I'm pregnant. Then I try to roll over. And all of a sudden there she is. Sometimes during the day I'll be going about whatever it is I'm going about, and I'll look down and can't see my feet for my belly. And it hits me. I'm about to have a baby. Not, I'm pregnant. I know that. But, in less than 72 hours I will be holding my daughter. This child who has grown in my belly for the last 9 months. This child who has caused so much emotion. This child who must be a girl because she already has way too many clothes. This child whom God has sent to be part of our lives. She will be here so very soon.

The room is ready. She has a place to sleep and diapers to wear and books for her brothers to read to her. But am I ready? Am I ready for sleepless nights and a helpless infant? Am I ready to have my heart once again walking around outside my body in the form of this tiny little person? Am I ready to have enough of everything I need to mother three children? Well, here's the thing. It doesn't really matter if I'm ready or not. She's on her way. And in all honesty, I am ready for one thing. To see her little face and to see who she is and to see who I am with her.

We've been connected, she and I, for long enough. And I've enjoyed every second of it. But it's time to move on. It's time to step into the next phase of our lives together. My family's life with 5 instead of 4. Her life as a member of our family that everyone can hold and love. My life as the mother of three and of a daughter. As scary as it still is and will probably continue to be, I am ready. I am ready to hold my daughter and share her with the world. And pray every second that she is safe and healthy and happy in that world.

Double Hockey Sticks

Should I be glad that Adam corrected the word "helicopter" on a movie by saying that it should be "heckicopter?"

Shiny Nest

Well, it finally happened. I am nesting. You know. That time during your pregnancy when you want to clean everything. So Sunday I cleaned the kitchen top to bottom and worked for a while in the boys room putting away laundry. Then last night I cleaned both bathrooms using five different cleaners. My tubs haven't been this shiny in...well...in a long time.

I actually did most of the cleaning after the boys went to bed (and after American Idol). And in spite of very swollen feet and ankles, did a pretty good job. But it wasn't until this morning that I realized just how long it's been since I really cleaned my house. Not until Josh walked into the bathroom and exclaimed, "What happened in here?!?" He said that, not because of a mess, but because the bathroom was so clean.

I guess I need to break out the Softscrub a little more often.

Fishy

This was today's entry on my online calendar. No wonder it's so challenging to teach English!

Ghoti = Fish

The curious and counter-intuitive nature of the English language is splendidly illustrated in a joke misspelling of the word ‘fish’ usually attributed to George Bernard Shaw. The joke is that ‘fish’ could be spelled ‘ghoti’ for these reasons:

gh as in ‘cough’ • o as in ‘women’ • ti as in ‘nation’

7

Today my baby turned 7. My adorable, funny, silly, smart, thoughtful baby. He is even more amazing today than he was seven years ago. I remember like it was yesterday the day he was born. He was such a cute baby with his blue eyes and barely there blond hair. We knew he was a boy so there was no surprise there, but the fact that I could be so amazed by this little person was. After all, I had just had a baby 19 months earlier. And that was amazing. But even though I had been through it before, I was once again awed by the miracle of life. And this tiny baby boy was proof again of God's gifts.

That day I had absolutely no idea just who he was. I knew he was different from his brother. I knew that before he was even born. But in the past seven years I have gotten to know this person who makes me laugh like no one else can. This person who amazes me with his thoughtful questions. This person who can drive me crazy with the silliness that is also one of my favorite things about him. This person who loves bugs and watermelon and jigsaw puzzles. And who loves to laugh and make others laugh. Who makes sound effects when he plays video games and sings when he's in the bathroom. And who would hate it if he knew that I just told you that he sings in bathroom. Adam is amazing and wonderful. He reminds me everyday to enjoy the moment and that if it's not fun either make it fun or don't do it.

And best of all, he has taught me to chase butterflies.

Show and Tell Finale

*a shiny rock that A. got from the haircut lady
*two brand new sparkly pencils that L. found in her backpack just in time for show and tell
*a pot containing 8 cacti that are "real and if you break them you will have to pay $8.00"
*1 green monkey, 1 Spongebob book, 1 Spiderman mask, 6 Neopets and stories for each
*a Magna Doodle (kind of like an etch-a-sketch only with a pencil to draw with) that can be used to draw pictures of me with a mohawk
*a stuffed goose and a baseball poster that J. won for our book fair coloring contest
*a chapter book with lots of pictures and stickers and a bracelet
*a stuffed dog and 2 posters from the book fair
*a story about how C. can ride her bike without training wheels and how her sister taught her how and helped her. And apparently it's hilarious that she crashed with her training wheels but doesn't crash without them!
*a jack-in-the-box named Jack Jack in the Box H. (Jack is his first name, Jack in the Box is his middle name and H. is his last name--the same as L.'s because he lives with him--and Clowny is his nickname.)

This is officially my last Friday and so my last show and tell report. It's been fun this year to see what the kids consider special enough to show their friends. Or at least to see what they have in the bottom of their backpacks that they pull out when they forget show and tell day. The best part though, is what they "tell." Five year olds can be very...umm...creative.

And I think that workplaces should institute show and tell day. We would all be able to get to know each other a little better. Or at least get to see what we have in our desk drawers if we forget something from home! :)

To The Nines

I had a doctor's appointment today and he happily announced that this baby would probably be my biggest one yet. Nine pounds he guessed. Not that I care how big she is, I'm have a c-section after all. But I don't really feel that big and have only gained 15 pounds since the beginning. And the way I figure it, if the baby weighs 9 pounds and then there's 4 pounds of other baby stuff, I will only have to lose 2 pounds later. Sounds good to me. Bring on the 9 pound baby!

A Few Reasons (for Ada)

(in no particular order)

*me
*Aidan
*Adam
*Mom and Dad
*Josh and Adam
*Arrty (yes, even him)
*your niece (I'm totally not cool, so she's going to need you for lots of advice and shopping trips.)
*days at the beach
*naps
*pie and ice cream
*friends
*Mexican food
*4th of Julys
*singing
*hot chocolate
*garage sales
*concerts
*road trips
*sunshine
*s'mores
*fresh flowers
*story telling
*Christmases
*new hair cuts
*unexpected cards in the mail
*childhood memories
*prayer
*good books
*soft pjs
*a clean house
*spirit filled praise songs
*chick flicks
*family dinner
*the Lord's love

Showered With Blessings

First let me say that I have been extremely blessed lately. Yes, there are things that could be better. But all in all, I see the Lord at work in my life everyday through circumstances and the people I love. I was feeling especially blessed yesterday and am tearing up just thinking about the goodness in my life. Here's one of the reasons why.


Yesterday was my baby shower. And it was the best ever. My sister and mom did such a great job organizing everything and had the cutest pink decorations including streamers and balloons and made the yummiest punch complete with frozen teethers to keep it cold. My friend Kathy decorated the cake with beautiful butterflies to stick with the nursery theme. And Katrina organized the games which included diaper tossing, name ideas, and the all time favorite of mommies-to-be, the belly measurement guessing game. (Carrie's 12 inch guess has made us friends forever!)


And I was completely overwhelmed by all the ladies who were there. Over 40 ladies attended including church family and relatives. It was such an amazing outpouring of love and support. And the presents!!! Oh my goodness. Two tables were overflowing with gifts wrapped in ribbons and bows. And once I started opening them there was a huge explosion of pink. I received so many great things for the baby and the nursery. I now have pretty much everything I need to bring this baby home. And she will never be naked or cold because of all the clothes and blankets from all those who love our family. And Mom and Ada gave me a brand new glider rocker for the nursery full of lots of other baby necessities. I already tried it out and it's absolutely perfect. I almost fell asleep sitting there looking at the room where my new daughter will sleep and grow and be loved. I am just so very grateful for everything and for everyone who has been so good to me. In addition to all the great gifts at the shower, we have already been given a crib, stroller, car seat, swing, play pen, and tons of clothes from people in our lives who no longer need them.


And what I couldn't help but think on the drive home yesterday in my van filled to overflowing with baby stuff, was that I am so blessed. God knows what I need before I do and he provides every time. He wanted me to have this baby. He told me to have this baby. And he hasn't failed to provide in every way possible since she became a reality. I fought his will. I was afraid to have another child. But he has shown me once again that his way is best. His will is perfect. And following that will is the only way to live. And I have fallen in love with his will in the form of the baby growing inside me. Who will, by the way, be the best dressed in town.

What's In A Name?

I am being asked at least once a day if we have a baby name chosen yet. The short answer is no, but the longer answer is this:

When I was pregnant with Josh, I read every baby name book I could get my hands on from cover to cover and made two lists--one with boy names and one with girl names, since we didn't know which he was. Then I gave it to Arrty to confirm or veto each name. Then from there we chose our top two first and middle names on each list and wrote them on a post-it to take to the hospital with us. But then when he was born, we looked at him and looked at the names and they just didn't fit. So we had to rethink the whole thing. Sometime that night or the next morning, Arrty said, "Whatever happened to Joshua?" I answered, "Nothing happened to it." It happened to be third on our list. So we thought about it and decided the day after he was born (not a week or two later like I'm sure will be brought up by certain people in my life) that he was Joshua. And it has turned out to be the perfect name for him even though he prefers Josh these days.

So when I was pregnant with Adam we decided to go in with a list and an open mind concerning names. We did know that he was a boy, so that narrowed down my baby name book reading and list making. Adam was on the top of our name list and happened to fit him when he was born so it didn't take long to decide about that one. And once again it was the right choice. He is Adam through and through.

And this time it's the same. I have gone over and over the name books and written down the names that I like. The field is a little narrower this time because we want a name that starts with "A" or "J" like the rest of the family. (I hate it when Max, Mike, Michelle, and Milly have a baby brother named Ted.) And it will have some kind of biblical meaning like Joshua and Adam. (I hate it when Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have a baby sister Savannah.) And frankly there aren't many "A" or "J" girl's names in the Bible. (Jezebel is out, by the way. And Abby with our last name sounds like a Beatles Album.) So we are having to be creative and use our naming freedom on the middle name. As of today, we have two favorites which both fit our criteria and will go to the hospital with us. Then when we see her little face and look into her little eyes we will know who she is. Until then she is "the baby."

So do we have a baby name chosen yet? No. And kind of.

Rock Of Ages

First let me say that 80's rock rocks. Just hearing some of those songs makes me feel young(er) and brings back so many memories. Now let me say that there are three kinds of rock concert attendees. There are those front row chicks (and dudes) who stand for the whole thing and scream and wave their arms and hope to catch thrown guitar picks or get splattered with sweat from the lead singer. Then there are those who sit in the balcony and come to hear the music and experience the event but don't necessarily want to go home with any rock star sweat stains. Then there are the few who want to be in the front row but either can't afford it or didn't buy tickets soon enough and end up sitting in the balcony acting like they're in the front row. I found out last night that I am in the middle group. My husband and I went to see Def Leppard, REO Speedwagon and STYX. We really had a lot of fun and sang along with everybody else and clapped and even screamed a few times. But a front row chick I am not. I watched them from my perch high above and had to smile at their youth and exuberance. And tried to remember if I was ever like that.

The music was great. I absolutely loved hearing all of those songs that I have heard and sang along to 1,000 times being performed live. There's just something about live music that can't be compared to any other musical experience. And those guys in their 50s or maybe even 60s still put on quite a show. It was really fun. But also made me feel just a little old. Here are some of the thoughts I had while watching the show.

Does it really have to be so loud? They could turn it down just a little and it would still be good.
This isn't going to cause my unborn child to have hearing loss is it?
I wonder how the band's hearing is these days.
Just how old are these guys if they started the band in 1971--the year before I was born?
It's a little creepy that shirtless 50-something year old guys are flirting with the 20-something year old front row chicks. Wait, just how old are those front row chicks anyway?
I now know the perfect job for the kids in my class who can't sit still and are constantly making noise--rock star.
How far back in her closet did that woman have to dig to find that outfit from her senior year?
How much Aquanet hairspray did it take to do that to her hair?
I hope that's just her 80's rock concert hair and not her 2008 everyday hair.
How many beers is this guy down the row from me going to drink tonight? I hope he has a designated driver.
I didn't know that I knew so many STYX songs.
Should I go to the bathroom now to beat the crowds during intermission?
I can't believe I just saw "drunk girl" from Saturday Night Live in the bathroom. She should be glad that she stopped hugging strangers before she got to me. I'm not much of a hugger of drunk strangers.
$3.00 for a bottle of Diet Coke. Totally worth it.
I am surprised by the age range of people here--probably 7 years to 70 years.
I didn't know that Def Leppard did that "Hey Kids, Rock and Roll" song.
You would never know that their drummer only has one arm.
I wonder if the boys are in bed yet?
What am I going to do about that problem at school?
I have to remember to make lemon bars tomorrow night for our school auction.
Oh, yeah, back to Def Leppard.
I wonder if they like lemon bars.

Just kidding about that last one, but after 3 1/2 hours of ear blasting 80's rock, I do admit that my mind wandered just a little. But at the end of the night, I was glad we went. We both had a great time and have a once in a lifetime memory. And now when the cd changer goes to "Come Sail Away" or "Armageddon It" or "Can't Fight This Feeling" we can look at each other and smile and remember the night we saw Def Leppard and STYX and REO Speedwagon live. From the balcony.

Warning: Staples Are Sharp

We made it exactly 6 years and 11 months before having to take Adam to the doctor for anything more than a ear infection or check-up. But this morning that all changed.

Every morning before school, the teachers get together to pray. So this leaves the boys alone in my classroom for 10-15 minutes. Well, I guess this morning when I was in prayer, Adam was in the hall reading stories that his class had written that had been displayed on the wall. One fell off while he was reading it, so being the responsible boy that he is, he got my stapler out of my desk and went to put it back up. Somehow, he ended up with a staple in his thumb instead of the wall. And not just sticking in a little so that I could pull it out. But completely in, both sides, just like he meant to do it. He tried to pull it out. I tried to pull it out. It wouldn't budge. So I made arrangements for my class and we headed for the doctor.

The thing about Adam is that he won't cry in front of people. With me he'll let it out, but he hates for others to see him cry. So before we could leave the school, some of the kids saw his thumb and even the older boys were impressed with his injury. And he wasn't even crying, which made him that much cooler. When we got in the car, he did cry a little but not nearly as much as I would have if I had a staple in my thumb like that.

We reached the doctor's office in just a few minutes and within a few more minutes we were in the little room where they apparently remove staples from little fingers. Our family doctor is so great. He has seen the boys since they were born and knows our family very well. He looked at Adam's thumb and explained to him exactly what he was going to do. He had to numb the thumb before pulling the staple out which involved a needle. He told Adam to close his eyes and that he didn't have to watch. Which he did for a second, then he had to look. And it didn't bother him at all. From then on, he watched the whole thing. The doctor was very impressed with how brave he was. And so was I. I was glad because if he would have fallen apart, I probably would have, too. We were all very glad that we had gone in to see the doctor once we saw how deep the staple was. It was completely into his poor little thumb just like if I was putting up a poster or something. Ouch. So, 45 minutes and $179 later, we were done and headed to the pharmacy for antibiotics. And Adam had a bandaged finger, a little jar with his staple in it and a beanie baby to show for it.

So all in all, it turned out okay. And I guess 6 years and 11 months without any major injuries isn't bad for a danger boy like Adam.

Show and Tell

*an acoustic guitar complete with planet stickers ("because they are boy stickers")
*a Webkinz horse (Miss Horsey) and bunny "named Slider because he loves sliding" and Miss Horsey is Slider's mom (I guess that can happen in Webkinz** world.)
*a Spiderwick book from a Honey Nut Cheerios box
*a talking, singing, light up Little Mermaid doll who "has two pairs of lipstick on--red and pink" and "sparkles in her hair"
*a Sleeping Beauty princess doll with a horse drawn carriage (purple, of course)
*a whistle that sounds like a train, a "T" book (everything starts with "t"), and a mini checkers game
*a roll of Smarties candy that K. just picked from the treasure box, and a Barbie cell phone on which K. just dialed 911 and asked for the police to come because apparently her classmates are "driving [her] crazy!" (I know the feeling!)
*another guitar--electric this time with all kinds of buttons that make different kinds of music

**Webkinz is a stuffed animal that comes with a secret code which allows the owner to go online and play games with that animal. It's actually pretty cool. My boys love it because it combines two of their favorite things--stuffed animals and computer games.

Today

Today...I am 33 weeks pregnant and have eaten 33 Oreos. (Just kidding. It hasn't been quite that many.)

Today... I learned that just the mere mention of Lucky Charms has the exact same effect on kindergarteners that actually eating the sugary, marshmallowed cereal does.

Today...marks 2 years since my car accident. Two years ago my life was turned upside down when the car I was driving turned upside down (3 times).

Today...I finally settled with the insurance company about my accident. Finally.

Today...I was reminded by a 5 year old that it's okay to say things like, "Yesterday I got 3 new Star Wars action figures--Obi Wan, Luke, and Han," and, "Today I have soccer practice," and, "Tomorrow I'm bringing my guitar for show and tell," when you pray. It's okay to talk to God like he's our friend because he is.

Today...I discussed with my 7th graders the theory of evolution...from a Christian perspective. I love that God is a part of everything we do in our school and that I can freely share my beliefs with my students.

Today...I am glad that tomorrow is Friday.

Good Day Sunshine

The sunshine over the weekend was so great...while it lasted. But it at least reminded me that it's possible to have sun instead of snow and I know it will return. Saturday we spent the day visiting with family and playing and sitting in the yard in the sun. We have just enough snow melted to have a border of grass around our yard just wide enough for patio chairs. The rest of the yard is still covered with about a foot of snow. I even told Arrty that it was a good thing that God sent me a sunny day. He knew that I really needed it to lift me up.

Then Sunday we went to church, had Chinese food for lunch and went for a drive around the lake. We were heading toward Sanders Beach, when the boys realized that we were close to The Stickman's house. They were so excited to stop and see him again. We knew he was out because just up the block we saw a couple walking with their dog and they had brand new Stickman walking sticks. The Stickman was as welcoming as always and reminded the boys of the treasures they could take home with them. It didn't take the boys long to choose their five rocks. They love the rocks! And Josh quickly chose his stick mostly because he liked the stones that were on it. But Adam was a little more selective. He picked up and studied many before finally choosing one that had wonderful bug markings and interesting stones on it. And Arrty even left with a new stick that he is looking forward to using on our next walk. Meanwhile, Josh found a 3 inch piece of stick and a piece of sandpaper and started working to sand down the end. By the time we left, both boys had raw sticks and all the supplies they needed to become "stickboys." They even got a mini-lesson on the steps they need to take to finish their sticks. It took some coaxing to get them to leave. I think they would have stayed all day sitting in the sun and working on their new projects. Once we got back on the road, I had to make a new rule. No carving or sanding in the car. But as soon as we got home, they started on their sticks again and are making good progress on their very own woody works of art.

So, thanks once again, Stickman, for the great visit and stories, and especially for making my boys' day by sharing your supplies and love of sticks with them. And for the memories that they will have forever. We'll be by this summer to get a stick with pink stones for their new baby sister. :)

Errgh!

No show and tell report today because the parents of my students are DRIVING ME CRAZY!! (Not you, Kathy. You know I love you.) And frankly, I don't really care what their kids brought for show and tell. They'll be lucky if I even teach their children anything today. They don't read the notes I send home and then complain because I don't let them know what's going on. They don't do the 10 minutes of homework twice a week that I send home and then complain when their children aren't learning fast enough. They don't participate in class projects and then I have to make up where they leave holes. Their kids get into things they're not supposed to and then they blame me (or the other teachers) because we obviously don't watch them well enough. They don't send lunches with their kids and then complain that we don't keep calling cell phone numbers until we find someone who will actually answer. And then they complain that when they didn't call back about their kid's lunch all I gave them was cheese and crackers, string cheese, canned peaches, a granola bar, and fruit snacks from MY OWN LUNCH. (You're welcome, by the way.) So even though the kid's will do show and tell today, I'm not going to pay attention. I'm rebelling for that 30 minutes in protest of parents who don't do what they should and expect, nay demand, that I make up for it. Errgh!!!

(Okay, I admit that only a few parents are like this. Most are great and truly appreciate what I do for their children. Those I love. And I really don't take it out on my students when their parents frustrate me. We learned 3 new special sounds today and practiced counting nickels, adding, and handwriting. And I love all of my students, even if their parents are....not so lovable.)

Sprung

One of the boys in my class is a child who many would say "marches to the beat of a different drum." He's just a little different. I can sometimes see in his eyes that he isn't at that moment in my classroom, but in another world altogether. He is very bright and enthusiastic about learning, though, and always raises his hand to answer questions. But he gets very agitated if he doesn't get to give his answer. And often says that he "never" gets to answer even though I usually try to include everyone sometime in each lesson.

Today in chapel, this question was asked, "What are some ways we can spend our time?" Some of the answers were playing baseball, reading the Bible, skateboarding, playing computer or video games, swimming, and praising God. This child was raising his hand and as more answers were given, he began waving his hand and making little noises trying to get called on. He was quite frantic by the end of the question time and kept his hand raised even after we moved on to the Bible verse. Actually, the principal had to finally tell him to put his hand down, which brought on the tears since he didn't get to give his answer. So on the way back to class, I asked him what his answer was. The answer, that he was so determined to share with the whole school about how he would spend his time was, "Spring is almost gonna sprung."

And all I could do was smile and think, "I hope so."

Schooled

This week on Huckleberries Online, there was a debate about homeschooling. Which was very timely for me because we are seriously considering homeschooling the boys next year. All of my concerns were brought up by the variety of commenters. I'm not concerned about my teaching qualifications since I am a certified teacher and have taught in my own classrooms on and off for the last eleven years. I have even taught my own kids when they were in kindergarten. So I think I can handle the curriculum and scheduling. But what about what other people will say? Should I let that stop me from doing what we all want? My kids are smart, social, "normal" kids and won't all of a sudden start hiding behind me when we go out in public or lose all ability to speak. And they get lots of other socializing with church and family and friends. They get above average grades now in first and second grade. I'm not going to let that slide. We will actually have school everyday and they will learn what they're supposed to. So if they will turn out to be well educated, well spoken, and well rounded, does it matter that some people think it's a little weird?

I have had homeschooled students in my classes at school before, and I am the first to admit that some come in way behind academically and socially. But most come in above average in both areas. I will totally agree that it all depends on the parents and whether or not they are actually homeschooling or just handing the kids a workbook and hoping for the best (or not really caring if they do it or not).

So I guess my dilemmas is this. Is it right for our family no matter what people say? At this point I'm thinking, "Yes." The boys love the idea and it's something that we have wanted to do for a few years now. I just have to get past the point of what people may think about us. But I know that all they'd have to do is talk to my kids for a minute and they'd realize that maybe, just maybe, homeschooling is okay after all.

Snow Shmow

I was going to write complaints about the foot of new snow in my front yard, but have decided to instead embrace it and put up my Christmas tree and pretend that it's Christmas break instead of Spring break. Or maybe I'll just stay indoors all day and ignore it.

Or maybe I'll just write about something else altogether. Like the mean lady who took my blood on Thursday when I went in for an appointment with the hematologist. About six weeks ago, my doctor discovered that I was anemic (low iron and red blood count). He sent me to a specialist to make sure everything was okay. Well, after a week of anxiety and 2 1/2 hours in the cancer center, he told me to take more iron and come back in a month for another check. Well, Thursday was my follow up. There is a lab just across the hall from the doctor's office so I went in at 3:15 for the blood work before my 3:30 appointment. The last time I went, the guy who took my blood was super nice. He made small talk about the weather and noticed that I was a little nervous so was especially gentle. (I don't like the whole thing at all--the needle, the blood, the pain.) But Thursday, I knew I was in trouble as soon as the lady called my name. She never made eye contact and seemed a little irritated that it took me 3 seconds to get my 7 1/2 month pregnant body out of the chair and headed in her direction. She led me to her station and said nothing but, "Which arm? Make a fist." She didn't even warn me before she poked the needle into my arm like everyone else always has. And I'm pretty sure that she put the needle in especially far. Then when she told me to release my fist, I apparently didn't release enough because she reached down and flicked my fingers open more. Once she got the two tubes she needed, she said, "Okay. Have a nice day," and walked away leaving me sitting at her station a little stunned and positive that she didn't really want me to have a nice day.

Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she missed lunch. Maybe she's just mean and likes to cause pain to really nice, pregnant, kindergarten teachers. Whatever it was, I just hope she has the day off when I go in for my next appointment.

Ramblings

I just checked my calendar, and yes, it is in fact MARCH 27th and not January 27th. I will say this once and then leave it. I am so sick of snow. We still have a ton in the front yard and 4 foot piles along the driveway. I'm just so glad that all the new stuff melts before the end of the day. And that it's not on the road.

Today is parent/teacher conference day. I only have a few of my students that make this time challenging. It's always hard to tell parents that their child should repeat kindergarten. And I'm sure it's hard to hear. But honestly, now's the time to hold them back. The younger the better. They end up getting a much stronger foundation in the long run, are better prepared for the rest of their education, and aren't so affected by the social aspects that are present later on.

I got a phone call a few days ago from the hospital to set up a pre-admission appointment for the baby's delivery. The nurse laughed when I exclaimed, "Already?!?!" She must hear that a lot.

I officially start spring break tomorrow at 11:00 after my last conference. Woo hoo! I will be spending it converting the computer/playroom to a nursery and doing fun things with my family (Chuck E. Cheese, Triple Play, movies, bowling).

The people who work at McDonald's on Hanley Ave. are so nice. The morning lady that takes the money always calls me "sweetie" and speaks to the boys when we stop for breakfast. Even the teenagers that I deal with in the drive through are super polite and friendly. Either they are very well trained or just an extraordinarily nice bunch of people. Or maybe it's because they know that my french fry cravings pay half their salary.

Easter Sweets

Yesterday afternoon, the boys and I colored Easter eggs. It has become a tradition and until they tell me they no longer want to, we will do it every year. (I hope they never outgrow these kinds of things.) They like things simple, like me, so they just colored the eggs and left them. No stickers or anything. But this morning Adam came across the stickers and decided to distribute them. He gave his dad the "DAD" sticker and he gave me the "MOM" sticker and who knows where the others ended up. But he brought one and stuck it on the big polyester belly of my maternity pants. It was a picture of flowers that said, "Happy Easter, Sister." How sweet is that? I left it for as long as I could but it eventually lost its stickiness and so I took it off and saved it for my Easter scrapbook page.

Sweetness. Just one more reason I'm glad I'm a mommy.

Today

The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.
Henry Van Dyke (1852–1933)
Fisherman's Luck (1899)

Today...A kindergartener declared herself 20 feet tall after measuring herself in what she considers feet.

Today...is the first day of spring and I had to drive through a blizzard to get to school.

Today...my youngest son discovered that he can no longer reach around me to give me a hug. At least he blamed it on the baby.

Today...I planned my 4th quarter lesson plans. Time flies.

Today...I made it through the day without eating fries (so far).

Today...I did not make it through the day without eating Oreos.

Today's quote...Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of. Benjamin Franklin (1706-90)

Today...I am blessed.

Famous Last Words

THOMAS HOBBES
‘I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.’

LOUIS XIV
‘Why are you weeping? Did you imagine that I was immortal?’

ANNE BOLEYN (upon the scaffold)
‘It [my neck] is very small, very small.’

THOMAS GAINSBOROUGH
‘We are all going to Heaven, and Vandyke is of the company.’

PHINEAS BARNUM
‘How were the receipts today in Madison Square Garden?’

EDITH CAVELL
‘I realise that patriotism is not enough. I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone.’

JOHN LE MESURIER
‘It’s all been rather lovely.’

ISADORA DUNCAN
‘Goodbye, my friends, I go on to glory.’

Dream A Little Dream

Saturday night I dreamt that I was pregnant with 13 babies. 13!! And the funny part was, I wasn't upset. I was only concerned that I wouldn't be able to carry them full term. And that I was going to have to come up with 13 names. I was slightly annoyed at my husband, though. His favorite number is 13 and I thought he did it on purpose.

I woke up rather relieved to know that there's only one in there. Thank goodness. One at a time I can handle. A litter is a whole different story!

School Days

• Last night we had our school's annual talent show. It's always a lot of fun to see what the kids put together for the show. The preschool classes did a traditional Hawaiian fishing dance called the Hukilau. They were so cute in their flip flops and leis. And I have to say that my nephew was the cutest and the best dancer and singer. My kindergarten class performed a collection of poems and songs from around the world since we just finished a social studies unit on "Children of the World." Their favorite was "Kookaburra," a song from Australia. The 1st and 2nd grade class, that both my sons are a part of, sang a song called "I Am A Promise." They were supposed to dress up like what they want to be when they grow up. It was easy for Adam to decide. He's wanted to be an entomologist for a while now. That's someone who studies bugs, in case you were wondering. But Josh couldn't decide. He tends to change his mind depending on what he's interested in at the moment. Since I had to get the costume ready, I suggested a baseball player. (I already had the jersey and hat.) He agreed and was actually pretty excited about it. They did a great job, too. The 3rd and 4th grade class performed to "The Battle Of New Orleans." It was very entertaining. The older kids performed in small groups or individually. There was keyboard playing, singing, poetry, karate, and dance. It was great fun. (But I'm glad it's over.)

• I must have been a little grouchy this week. This morning when I gave my class free time, one little girl declared, "Teacher is better today."

• Show and Tell
  *Build a Bear Workshop bear (white bear with green clover spots dressed in a red dress with a variety of bows to go around her ears)
  *an Idaho state flag, a picture of Mount Rushmore, a story about eating buffalo burgers and a story about a cowboy battle and a cowboy graveyard from L. who just got back from a cross country trip
  *binoculars, six Star Wars action figures, a ship and Chewbacca's gun
  *a Slinky with a very thorough demonstration of all the things you can do with it (headband, jump rope, telescope, stair climber, bracelet, jumping, rolling, stretching, throwing, and much, much more--It's fun for a girl or a boy!)
  *a ballerina jewelry box (pink, of course)
  *a miniature electric guitar (electronic, no strings)
  *a German short haired pointer named Heinz
  
  
• Today is National Pi Day. You know, pi, like the math thing that equals 3.14. But for my 7th graders it meant a short discussion on pi, and then real pie--chocolate and coconut cream. They were very grateful. For the pie and because they didn't have homework.

Ouch

Adam: "Dad, can you get this band-aid off my dog?"
Dad: "Sure, Adam, but why did you put a band-aid on your dog?"
Adam: "Because I cut him with my light saber."

Of course. Why else would a stuffed dog need a band-aid?

Oh, To Be A Gopher

This was on my online calendar this week. I found it interesting since I am on day 190 of the 280 day human gestation period. Do you think it means anything that our gestation period is closest in length to that of a yak? And just think, if I were a warthog, I'd already be done!

Some Gestation Periods
(approximate no. of days)

Aardvark..........210
Dingo.................60
Gazelle..............180
Hedgehog...........39
Leopard............100
Mink...................50
Orang-utan........240
Giant Panda.......140
Rabbit.................30
Gopher................15
Llama................350
Warthog............170
Yak...................260
Zorilla.................37
Shrew..................18
Tapir.................370
Skunk..................60

Today

Today...The sun is shining! Woohoo!

Today...After further tests and a visit to the hematologist, I know that all is okay with me and the baby. And I have been reminded once more of the power of prayer.

Today...I have discovered my new favorite cd--Boys and Girls by Ingrid Michaelson. (It was a birthday gift from my sister. She knows me so well. Thanks, Ada.)

Today...During reading groups I discovered that all my kindergarteners are finally starting to become readers. Some read fluently and some are just putting sounds together, but I can see improvement. What else can I ask for?

Today...My 7th grade math class called me a magician. All because I could show them exactly why x=4 in 3x-2=10. (On Tuesday I was the world's best teacher and math was the best class ever just because I gave them ice cream cups to celebrate my birthday.) I can't wait to see what they think when we celebrate "pi" day on March 14th with actual pie!

Today...My husband called me in the middle of the day to tell me he loves me and appreciates what I do. Awww. (This from the man who has done all the laundry and most of the dishes for the last few months.)

Today...Is Thursday which makes me happy. First because Lost is on tonight and secondly because tomorrow is Friday!

March

It's March...and it's snowing AGAIN.

March is a good month. And not just because it's my birthday month.

March 1st is my favorite (and only) nephew's birthday. We went to his birthday party on Saturday. It was a pirate party. He, of course, was Captain Jack Sparrow...even cuter than the original, I might add. And all of the kids were given pirate garb and pirate names. My sister did such a great job with the party. The cake was the cutest. It was a pirate ship complete with cannons. The kids all had such a great time and the adults had fun watching them. There was a scary moment when Josh was momentarily possessed by the pinata monster and almost got into a fight with a 5 year old girl over two tootsie rolls. He later apologized and gave her some of his pirate treasure.

Yesterday was March 2nd and I realized sometime during the day that it was exactly 3 months until my daughter will be born. A slight panic set in knowing that it will go so fast and her bedroom is still the computer/toy room. I have to get moving so that she doesn't have to sleep in a dresser drawer.

Today I had 4 students (out of 13) absent. And I'm sorry that they are sick. Really. But it was nice having a smaller class. Especially since two of the ones who were gone are what teachers call "challenges."

And tomorrow is my birthday. The big 3-6.

So March has already been good and there's lots more to look forward to. Most of all SPRING. That is if it ever stops snowing!

Show and Tell

*an 8 year old stuffed rabbit named Rosie who is on a leash because she runs away
*a ziploc baggie with coins and a piece of a broken flashlight
*a blue motorcycle that gets launched off a ramp "that powers it up" and a green motorcycle with a guy that does tricks
*Trixie the wiener dog who "is a little hyper and goes crazy" (and another 5 minutes about how Trixie jumps and barks and licks...)**
*three Barbies with full explanation of hairstyles and fashion
*a fairy statue with colorful wings
*a tooth in a bag that L. lost last night by wiggling it with his tongue. He's going to put it under his pillow tonight and hopes to get a quarter. (complete with explanations about the bag, his name written on the bag, how the tooth fell out, and how many teeth he has left--29)
*a little black purse from Target with a glow in the dark wallet (A glow in the dark purse! What a great idea. You never know when you might need chapstick or a mint during a movie or something.) K. also shared a story about going out to dinner at the "Red Crab" (umm, I think she meant Red Lobster) and having ice cream with chocolate syrup (ooh, ice cream sounds good)
*2 little plastic dinosaurs that T. "likes a lot and that's all"
*a baby doll in a carrier
*a miniature light house that's most fascinating feature is the door

**L. had to call her dad to bring her show and tell because she forgot it at home. She said she couldn't decide if she wanted to bring Trixie or Mrs. Potts. I thought it was two toys and was surprised when Trixie showed up and was alive. Later I asked L., "If that was Trixie, who is Mrs. Potts?" She answered, "Oh, she's the teapot on Beauty and the Beast." Of course she is.

You Never Know

There is a hammerhead shark in my bathroom sink.

He is 2 inches long and made of plastic, but that didn't make him any less startling when I turned on the light and went to wash my hands. He seemed quite happy in the 3 inches of water in his tiny pool. A little lonely, maybe, but that won't last long. I'm sure he'll soon be joined by other ocean dwellers. I couldn't bear to let out the water to wash my hands and I didn't want to poison him with soap, so I turned off the light and went to the kitchen sink instead. And so Mr. Hammerhead stayed there for the rest of the night and into the next morning, when sadly all the water had slowly drained out of the sink and he was left lying on the bottom.

Yes, I was a little startled by such a sight in the sink, but not surprised. You see, I live with two little boys and you never know what you might find and where you might find it. In pockets, under couch cushions, in tubs and sinks and toilets (don't ask). Even under pillows and rugs or at the bottom of the washer or dryer. I've found coins and rubber bands and candy and gum and animals (plastic and real) and tiny little pencils with no erasers. After trips to my parents' house I've found pockets full of nuts and bolts and wires and tools and creations made with such treasures. After trips to the beach I've found rocks and sticks and sand and UBOs (unidentified beach objects). In the spring and summer there seems to be a never ending jar or bug box full of creatures of some kind sitting on tables around the house. And don't get me started on rock collections and leaf collections and stick collections and candy wrapper collections.

After 8 1/2 years, I've pretty much gotten used to the unknown findings in my life. That is at least until the boys become teenagers. Then I'm afraid I'm in for a whole new set of unknowns. But until then not much can surprise me. Not even a hammerhead shark in the bathroom sink.

Roller Derby

No show and tell this week.

On Friday we packed up all the kids and went roller skating. The 7 1/2 minute bus ride seemed like an hour and a half. And it took a good 30 minutes to get all my kindergartners in skates and all the laces tied. But after that, they were off. Some of them had never skated before and it showed. But they are fearless and were soon scooting around the rink. Except for two. One chose to crawl around and one chose to crab walk around. Whatever works I guess. They all had a lot of fun and I got to sit back, drink a diet coke, and watch as they smiled and laughed and fell and learned all on their own.

My youngest son, Adam, asked me to play air hockey with him in the arcade at one point. That's kind of our thing. Whenever we go anywhere with an air hockey table, he issues a challenge. And of course, I couldn't pass it up. He was quickly ahead 3-1. Until he forgot that he was on skates and instantaneously disappeared under the table. Nothing was left but his little round handle spinning on the table. Luckily he wasn't injured and it was so funny how fast it all happened that I was glad I could laugh. He ended up beating me 5-4. I'd like to say I let him win, but I didn't. He completely out played me. Ahhh...the teacher has become the student I guess.

And I'm not quite sure how it happened, but one of my students ended up with only one skate. The other one he apparently took off and stashed somewhere. He eventually found it and was able to reclaim his shoes. I'm still not really sure where it was all that time.

After two and a half hours, we were loaded back on the bus and headed back to school. The kids were all exhausted (and therefore actually quiet for a minute). And now they are all better skaters and have another fun memory of their kindergarten year.

Pressing Answers

Yesterday Adam was watching old Tom and Jerry cartoons when he said, "Mom, did you see that? Jerry had a pie with one of those things that Grandma has at her house in it. You know the thing that she wiggles over the clothes after she sprays them with water. And he threw it at Tom." Spraying? Wiggling? Clothes? "Oh, you mean an iron." "Yeah, mom, that's what it's called."

(For the record, I do have an iron and am almost sure that I have used it in the last 6 1/2 years. It goes with that long surf-board shaped shelf in the laundry room that the detergent sits on.)

Happy Valentine's Day

I publish a monthly women's newsletter at church that has upcoming events, ministry notes, a "getting to know you" page, and an article that I write. The following is the article I wrote for February.

Jen’s Gems
From The Heart

I remember when I was in grade school and February meant valentines. Sure there was Groundhog Day and President’s Day, but only on Valentine’s Day could I give away little cards with cheap envelopes with glue that didn’t stick and candy hearts with sayings like “U R Cute.” And not much has changed for kids these days. My boys have already chosen the valentines they will give their class (Star Wars for Josh and Happy Feet for Adam). Not only that, they already have them filled out and sealed. Only nowadays, they come with little sticker hearts to seal them instead of little white envelopes. They carefully read each one and compared it to a list of their classmates to choose the perfect card for each person, just like I used to do. You have to be careful, you know. You have to be sure to give the boys a card meant for boys and the girls a card meant for girls. Only the girl’s cards can’t be too valentiney or they might think you like them. Unless that’s what you want, then it’s even more complicated. So after an evening of deliberation, they had chosen the right card for each person and had carefully filled out the to/from part and sealed them with a heart. Now they just have to wait until the 14th to put them in the construction paper containers on each desk at school.

The hardest and most important part of the whole process is choosing for each person a card that says just what you want to say to them on that day. I think God does that for us. His valentines don’t have cartoon characters on them and they aren’t sealed with little stickers. His valentines come in the form of book, chapter and verse. I can just see him each night looking at his list and finding my name. “Hmmm,” he thinks, “What do I need to say to Jen tomorrow?” Then the next day when I open my Bible, there it is. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 when I need to be reminded of his comfort. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” Or Proverbs 3:5-6 when I need a little faith strengthening. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Or 2 Timothy 1:7 if I need to be reassured of who I am in him. “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

So each day I have the opportunity to get a valentine from God. Sometimes they are the ones that say, “Have a Happy Feet Day” or “May the Force be with you, Valentine.” But sometimes they say, “Here I am” or “Remember me.” But what I have to remember and take to heart each day as I open his valentine, is that where I am is where he wants me to be…in my life and in his Word.

This Week

I have at least one idea every day for a blog post, but finding the time to actually sit down and write gets tricky. So here are a few "long stories short" from the last week that could have been their own posts.

Josh and Adam went to Katie's video game birthday party last Friday where awards were handed out at the end of the night. Adam got the award for "Good Sportsmanship"...and Josh got the award for "Most Uses of the Word 'Dude'." Ah, they make a mother proud.

Saturday I went to see "Juno." I loved it. Juno (the character) is a crack up and wonderfully smart, funny, and courageous. Ellen Page definitely deserves her Oscar nod.

I also found out the one downside to going to the movies alone. If you have left over popcorn, you have to take it into the bathroom with you after the show because there's no one to stand watch outside. At least I ate enough to be able to fold the top of the bag down. (And by the way, if you are walking in front of a pregnant women who just drank 32 ounces of diet coke, get out of the way!)

We watched the Superbowl on Sunday and it turned out just as I predicted...I napped through the game (well, the 2nd and 3rd quarters at least), and woke up for the commercials.

A miracle occurred at school this week. During chapel on Thursday, for the first time in 91 days of school, every kindergartener actually stood tall with the right hand on their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance without me having to correct a single one. I was pleasantly surprised until the little girl two students to my right decided to very loudly speed things up and was 4 words ahead of everyone else. So I guess a miracle almost occurred.

I always thought the mood swings of pregnant women on tv were exaggerated. Until this week. Some kind of mutant hormones kicked in and I was a grouch for three days straight. Not even my nightly peanut butter and honey sandwich could fix it. (All better now, thanks.)

As a teacher, I sometimes have to teach things that are a little silly. Like how to read an electric meter. What are the odds that one of the five students in my 7th grade class will end up being a meter reader? Especially since they are determined to be professional baseball players and video game designers.

My mom called me two nights this week. One night at 7:00 pm and one at 7:15. We chatted casually, but the real reason she called was to tell me that she and dad were going to bed and not to call them. One of the perks of an empty nest I guess.

In the "you learn something new everyday" category: Kathy's friend list is completely full. Until one of us kicks the bucket, the rest of you are out of luck. And Katrina is in love with the semi-colon; she thinks it's the best of all punctuation.

Show and Tell

*a first grade reading book (C. goes to the first grade class for reading group since she is such an advanced reader. Yeah for her!)
*a princess cell phone (I think it was still in M.'s backpack from last week.)
*a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle book (Cowabunga, dude!)
*a completely empty wallet (kinda like mine) :)
*an orange toy motorcycle "with a kickstand"
*a Barbie laptop with learning games (very pink)
*a wallet from Walmart with two zippers holding 16 cents and a "credit card" (issued by the CDA library)
*a handheld Disney Princess game (again, very pink)
*a pink baby blanket
*a remote controlled airplane
*a silver football that can "go in mud, it can go in snow, dirt and water"
*N.'s bags o' show and tell which include a Toy Story car, Darci the rubber chicken (a blog all on her own), a spinosaurus, Woody from Toy Story, a dinosaur guy "that came with a T-Rex but it got broken", a stickosaurus skeleton with removable skin that can "glow up" in the dark, a velociraptor (N's favorite dinosaur) --and from bag #2--a T-Rex, a longneck, another T-Rex that is smaller, another type of T-Rex, another long neck, a brachiosaurus, and a triceratops (After show and tell each week, I give the kids time to play with all the things they have brought. N. informed me that he brought Woody for the velociraptor's lunch and Darci for his dessert! They are meat eaters, after all.)

One More Reason To Avoid Morning Radio

This morning one of the djs decided to discuss how she wants to take pole dancing lessons. And went into how pole dancing is not stripping. But how she has always been fascinated by strippers and blah blah blah strippers and yadda yadda yadda strippers. And before I could change the station, Adam said, "Mom, what's a stripper?" "Umm, it's not something you need to know about today," I hedged. "But mom, what is a stripper?" I thought for a second about telling him, but how do you describe a stripper to a six year old. It probably would have been okay because he would have thought it was extremely gross. But I decided to avoid it for now and told him to change the subject...to something easier to explain, like why the sky's blue or how to perform brain surgery.

Show and Tell

*a princess cell phone that talks, of course
*Sam, the stuffed puppy that great-grandma "made" (She apparently lives in China because that's what the tag says.)
*a care bear and a twisty thing that you can make anything with
*a Star Wars ship with "yanders" that help it "yand" when it's done flying
*two little silver hearts that belong to mommy and daddy that are special because they got them when they were kids
*a state quarter collection with only 5 left to get
*a baby doll with a button that only works when you shake her head (with full shaking demonstration) and a purse that contains a tiny pink teddy bear, a baby bottle, a pacifier, and a baby blanket
*a story about when L. lost a tooth and the tooth fairy came and left two dollars and then when she was at her house the tooth fairy went to her grammy's house and left another dollar and a toothbrush on grammy's porch. (L. told a much longer version of the story which also included an aside about a camping trip with grammy and how her papa hunts and killed a deer and about great grandma who lives at the hospital and needed a clock in her room and how her mom took her one and how great grandma comes to their house on holidays.)
*a teddy bear that records what you say and then plays it back
*two very pink My Little Ponies with all kinds of brushes and hair clips

Snow Day

The boys laughed when I told them to not get lost in the arctic tundra. But look. It looks like I should have polar bears wandering around my front yard. That is the top of our swing set between our house and the neighbor's. Only about a foot is still sticking out of the snow.

These are the trees across the road from our house.

This is Adam making the perfect snowball.

Josh tried to shovel the front walk, but with a foot of new snow, he didn't get far.

The boys love all the snow hills along the driveway. They built caves and made slides all the way.

Luckily, Arrty got the snowblower running again and has been able to keep up with the storms.

Even Jake got in on the snow fun! His four legs made it a little more difficult to get to the top.

As you can see, we truly did have a snow day today!

Enough Is Enough

You know that there is officially enough snow* in the yard when your kids go out to play and pretend to climb Mt. Everest.

*We've gotten 17 inches since noon yesterday and it's still falling.

Yesterday's Mail

Here's what I got in yesterday's mail:

1. A water bill which I am more than happy to pay. Running water is easily worth $25 a month.

2. A "last chance warranty" notice for the car I rolled 2 years ago.

3. The first issue of my TV Guide renewal subscription. I don't really use it much for the show listings, I just like to read the other stuff. And I can get it for 25 cents an issue. And as an added bonus, Josh Halloway from "Lost" was on the cover.

4. Tickets. Concert tickets. For Def Leppard AND REO Speedwagon AND Styx. I know! I'm so excited. It's going to be totally awesome. The concert isn't until April so I will be humongously pregnant, but I got aisle seats so I should be okay. And the baby better get used to loud 80's music. She will be growing up with two brothers who already know all the words to "Living On A Prayer" and spontaneously sing "Mr. Roboto."

Baby News

Today it happened. I had to wear maternity pants and a maternity shirt. Up until now I have been able to get away with one or the other. But I have decided that unless the shirt is very long, I should wear maternity clothes. Believe me, no one wants to see my pregnant belly.

I haven't blogged about the baby lately. I'm never quite sure just what I'm comfortable sharing on the world wide web. But I can tell you that the baby is a girl, which we're thrilled about, and that she is scheduled to arrive in early June as long as she doesn't decide to be early.

I have been studying baby name books for the last month or so and have some ideas about names, but we won't decide for sure until we meet her. (No smart alleck comments from the peanut gallery about waiting a week to name her. You know who you are!) It will be a Bible name in some form and will probably start with an A or a J since the rest of our names start with those letters. I know that kind of limits our choices, but my favorites fit the bill anyway.

She has started to kick a little. Not enough for anyone but me to know but just enough to remind me a few times a day that she is, in fact, in there.

A mom of one of my students gave me 5 boxes of clothes last week and after going through them, I am sure that I won't have to buy clothes for this child until she's 5. And another couple that we've known since childhood is giving us a crib, stroller, and car seat. What a blessing it is to be surrounded by such generous people.

So all in all, the whole baby thing has been going okay. God put this baby in my heart long before he put her in my belly and I am convinced that He is in charge of the whole thing. So I will eat pickles and peanut butter (not together) and enjoy this time with my baby. And I know I've said it before, but this really is the last one. Really.

Bathtime

Me: Boys, it's time to take a shower.

Adam: Do we have to? I don't want to.

Me: Yes. I don't want you to be the stinky kid in class.

Josh(whispering): Mom, I don't think you can make Adam not be stinky.

In case you're ever on Millionaire...

This was on my page-a-day online calendar today. It's just a bunch of random trivia. I thought this was interesting. George Burns...okay. Groucho Marx...have to find. Morgan Freeman...great. Alanis Morissette...huh?!

Actors who have played God

George Burns

Mel Blanc

Martin Sheen

Graham Chapman

Val Kilmer

Groucho Marx

Sandra Bernhard

Robert Mitchum

Morgan Freeman

Robert Morley

George Plimpton

James Garner

Alanis Morissette

Something's Fishy

Conversation between a student and I in the hall today:

Me: "L., you have to tell me when you go to the restroom. I need to know where you are."

L.: *stares*

Me: "L. Do you understand? You have to ask before you leave the room."

L.: "Shrimp! I smell shrimp!"

(Sigh...just another day in kindergarten.)

Got News?

Is it wrong that I get all my news from John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Huckleberries Online? John and Stephen are funny and I really enjoy their shows, but my favorite news source is HBO. It's the first place I visit everyday that I go online. I can always count on DFO to keep me up to date on what's happening in our little town. Since I discovered HBO, I have been better able to form an opinion and comment on things that I wouldn't have a clue about otherwise. And I know more about local and national politics than I ever have before. Not to mention the movie, book, and food reviews, great northwest photos, and all around interesting local info.

But, my favorite part of HBO is the people. I only know a few in real life, but I sometimes feel like I know many of them. Katrina, my real life friend, was my inspiration to blog in the first place. Bob makes me laugh with his creative and sarcastic comments. Phil makes me want to homeschool every time I read about his adventures with his son. I am reminded of God's amazing grace when Kendra shares her stories. OrangeTV never lets me down with his restaurant advice. DFO has encouraged me to blog more by sharing my blog with the HBO world. The Stickman has helped me to see the beauty in a stick and where it comes from. And no one has ever made me want to pick up and go to England just to meet someone new like Marmitetoasty.

I love going into the comments section just to see what everyone is thinking and saying on any given day. I am never disappointed. There is always something interesting or educational or funny as can be. And I love visiting the blogs of other North Idaho bloggers. I really never know just what I might find.

So thanks to DFO and the HBO regulars for enlightening me, inspiring me, and making me laugh every day.

Show and Tell Day

Today we had:

*a very cute American foxhound puppy named Copper
*a baby doll who is not "a stinky baby"
*a blue light saber that L. will use to be Luke Skywalker for Halloween (It's good to plan ahead I guess.)
*a headlight (a flashlight on a band that you can wear around your head)
*a china doll on a carousel horse (given to J. by her big sister)
*two bouncy balls (complete with demonstration on just how high they can actually bounce in the classroom)
*2 pictures of M. and her friends
*a giant "my little pony" named Pinky Pie that talks
*a hand held electronic game with games including Spongebob, Disney Princesses and Dora the Explorer
*a digital camera that is "shiny and even shows the pictures on the back"

P.S. In chapel today, our memory verse was found in 1 Corinthians 6:20. But apparently it can also be found in 1 Correctly 6:20, 1 Crispian 6:20 and 1 Coorinas 6:20.

A Few More Things To Be Happy About

Friday, December 21st was the last day of school before Christmas break. So when I got back this week, I had the last few days of my "5 Things To Be Happy About" calendar to enjoy. Here are a few of my holiday and end of the year favorites:

*winter break from school
*stringing popcorn and cranberries
*a morning's hibernating
*night lights
*poinsettias as housewarming gifts
*a buffet spread
*breathing deeply
*reading "Goodnight Moon"
*pajamas all day
*joy to the world
*warming up by the fire
*nurturing a child's imagination
*travelogues
*an elaborate coat of arms
*peanut butter on apple slices
*playing footsie
*generosity
*standing by someone you love
*proposing a toast
*a mean game of solitaire
*donating to charity
*creature comforts

Today IS A Snow Day

They said it was going to snow. And they were right. I will trust my local weather people from now on...or at least until they're wrong again.

There is nothing better than getting up, turning on the tv, seeing your school's name followed by the word closed, and then going back to bed. (Actually after all that I couldn't sleep and ended up getting up anyway. But just knowing that I could go back to bed was all I needed.)

On second thought, one thing is better than that. An afternoon nap on a snow day.

Today Is Not A Snow Day

This is the second day back to school after Christmas vacation, and I admit that it's been better than December. The craziness of that month makes an "active" class even more "active." We have actually learned two new letters and started to add. Not bad for two days. And I can still see some of the top of my desk which is usually covered with drawings and papers and books and a variety of other things that magically appear throughout the day. So all in all, it hasn't been bad if you don't count having to get up early and driving on the icy roads.

But still, yesterday when there was a glimmer of hope for a snow day, I was hoping that just maybe we'd get to stay home today. All the weather people were saying this BIG storm was coming our way. All kinds of warnings about inches and inches of snow on the way were all over the tv and radio. We even had calls come in to the school office to see if we were cancelling school yesterday before a flake even fell. And so, as I lay down to go to sleep last night, I listened carefully for the wind to blow in the storm that would allow me to have a pajama day with my family.

But...this morning at 6:00 the alarm went off and I got up and looked out the window. Guess what? Not a snowflake fell all night. Well, I thought, maybe it's worse than it looks. Maybe it snowed in town. So I turned on the tv to see if there were any school closures. There were a few delays in the areas that always seem to be delayed, but no closures. Sigh.

So here I am. My students are at library and I should be grading papers, but it was supposed to be a snow day, so I'll blog instead.

And there's always hope for tomorrow. They say it's supposed to snow tonight.

1/1/08

Happy New Year!!

Time flies whether you're having fun or not.

(In case you're wondering, I am having fun.)

For Ada

• Dougherty?
• lightening bugs
• "Let me tell you a little story about a man named Jed..."
• pink stuff
• smoking game hens
• old Christmas tape
• counting cars on the porch
• naps on mom's couch
• phone calls to laugh
• phone calls to cry
• cross country road trips
• cowboys and indians (You get the honey bottle!)
• days at the beach
• handstand scores
• family dinners
• years together
• years ahead
• I love you.

Belated

I totally missed my one year anniversary of blogging. I thought that it was during Christmas break last year that I sat down one day and created this little blog of mine. So yesterday I went back in my archives to see just when it was. And guess what? It was November 4th. So it went by without even a mention.

I can remember that day, though. I was in the midst of a severe, long lasting panic attack. It was a Saturday and my husband was teaching his NIC class and so I was home alone with the boys. That's when my anxiety was the worst. When I thought that I was going to die and there would be no one to find me but Josh and Adam. The only way I could make it through those long days was to try to distract myself from the pain in my chest and the thoughts in my head. I had been thinking about blogging for a while and when I ran out of other diversions I went to blogspot and created "A Butterfly Moment." A butterfly moment is a moment of perfect peace. A moment when everything goes away except the beauty and joy of life. And that is so what I longed for at that time in my life.

Since then, my life has changed so much. I went from that darkness and despair to worse and then finally to help and healing. I gave it to God and with his guidance, which included counseling and medication, I am better. Oh, so much better. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the Lord for my life and my sanity...for him giving me the strength and health to get out of bed in the morning able to take care of myself and my family...for that peace that I couldn't quite reach during those days of darkness.

My blog helped me then. It helped take my mind off my worries. It gave me an outlet for my thoughts. It allowed me write. It was there for me through one of the toughest parts of my life so far. And so were all of you. All of you who stop by and read my ramblings. Those of you whose comments have given me strength and encouragement without even knowing it.

So thank you for being a part of my life for the past year. It's been a blessing and I hope it continues to be for a little while longer.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Love Christmas Vacation

10. No lessons to plan or papers to grade or students to discipline.
9. Holiday festivities with family.
8. Giving gifts.
7. Cookie trays.
6. New pjs on Christmas Eve.
5. Wearing those pjs all day long.
4. New music (Carrie Underwood, Rascal Flatts, Bon Jovi, Hairspray) and movies (Ocean's 11&12, Mary Poppins, 13 Going On 30, Hairspray).
3. Not having to set the clock or make lunches.
2. Naps.
1. Time spent with my family without any time schedule.

Decking In The Halls (Almost)

Last night was our school's Christmas program. And I almost started a riot.

First I should explain that since I am the only teacher who can read music, I am officially the music teacher. That's how it works at Christian schools. And that's fine with me. I actually enjoy it. So since Thanksgiving I have had 20 minutes a day to teach 50 kids, ages 4 to 10, their songs for the Christmas program. We learned "Here We Come A-Caroling," "Deck The Halls," "Jingle Bells," "O Come All Ye Faithful," "We Three Kings," and "We Wish You A Merry Christmas." You would be surprised how quickly kids learn the words to songs. Even the four year olds knew to sing "traverse a far" instead of "travel so far" in "We Three Kings." And they sounded pretty good, too. But I learned from years of doing this, that how they sound doesn't really matter. As soon as they walk on stage in their shiny dresses and new sweaters, the parents are happy. We could sing "Old MacDonald" and they wouldn't care. They just love to see their little angels on stage looking for them and smiling and waving and singing their little hearts out. And I've learned that most groups of kids, unless being directed by a professional with many hours of practice, aren't going to sing like the angels they look like.

So here's where the story begins. At approximately 7:48pm the program was over and my students had been collected by their parents. So I headed upstairs to join in the fellowship and cookies. I saw one of my parents and she asked me if it was okay if she took her family down to see the classroom. Of course it was. That's why I bribed the kids to clean it yesterday afternoon. So she headed down, but the grandma lingered behind. So I'm standing in a full foyer of happy parents when this grandma comes over and asks me if we have a piano in the building. I felt the tension right away and thought maybe it was going to be about the fact that we are a non-instrumental church. I told her no, we don't have a piano. "You don't have a piano anywhere in this building?" she repeated. "Umm, no." "Well," she says, "Your kids were singing flat the whole time and if you had a piano they would able to stay on key." I tried to walk away. Really I did. But this close talker got even closer. (Did I mention that in the beginning I was just trying to get out of the crowd. I get a little nervous when I feel cornered.) She continued, "I'm a music teacher and I could help." "No thank you," I said politely still trying to walk away. "Really?" she asks still getting closer. I was thinking to myself, "Who goes up to the director of elementary age students five minutes after the program and criticizes their performance?" "Not tonight. Don't do this tonight. Please stop talking to me. If you want to talk about this, come to the school tomorrow and I'll talk to you," I pleaded. Still closer. Still following. "Please get away from me." Still closer. Still following. I'm not sure what she was saying because I was actually in the beginning of an anxiety attack.

Now here you must know that I could see my dad over her shoulder watching this whole thing not knowing what was going on but seeing the panicked look on my face and this strange woman harassing me. My very overprotective dad with the quick Irish temper, by the way.

So he walked over and got between us and I'm not sure what he said to her because it gave me a chance to get away. My sister who was also watching all of this and knowing dad, got between the woman and dad. But then her husband came over and got in my dad's face. Bad move. So I hurried back over and literally screamed for my dad to get away from them and not make it worse. She still stood there like she wanted to say more to me even after seeing how upset I was. Finally they went downstairs and I looked around. There was this circle of people who loved me there ready for anything. I'm not kidding. My family and friends, including in-laws and ex-laws, were there not really knowing what was going on but they had my back. Kathy even commented later that that lady didn't know who she was messing with. True. Very true. It was like a scene from "West Side Story." Only with grandparents and Christian school teachers.

Meanwhile, the foyer is still full of parents thinking who knows what with me screaming and crying and a fight almost breaking out.

Here's what I have to say for myself and the possible slight over reaction. I still had a little bit of adrenaline running through me from the performance. I was sooo glad that the whole thing was over. For me it was like vacation had just started. And I'm pregnant and therefore more emotional than normal. And I'm a little freaked out by confrontation, strangers, large crowds, and close talkers. Put all of these together with someone criticizing MY kids, and there's going to be some screaming and crying. And frankly I'm glad that dirty looks was all it turned out to be. And that I was the only one who had to scream and cry.

I do also want to say that after thinking about it, I'm sure this lady was trying to be helpful. But it wasn't helpful. She ruined for me what was supposed to be a wonderful night for my family. And was, too, until she decided to give her two cents. I know the kids sang flat. And maybe a piano would help. But out of 200+ people who sat in the audience last night only one worried about four year olds singing on key.

And I wish she would have just gone home and blogged about it instead of telling me.

Countdown

Let me just say that there are 3 more days until Christmas vacation.

Tomorrow is Josh and Adam's class party so I should actually be preparing snacks* and wrapping their teacher's gift.

Thursday is the Christmas program which I am directing half of, so I have two more days to get four year olds to sit still and sing without doing something embarrassing in front of all the parents. (Actually, I hope at least a few do something embarrassing. Parents love that.)

Friday is the kindergarten class party. One word--CHAOS.

Saturday is vacation. Sweet, sweet vacation!

*Josh was chosen to bring a veggie snack to the party. He wasn't thrilled with that, so I got out my "Kid's Cookbook" to find something that he might be happy to take. He decided that we should make veggie bobbers. You cut a cherry tomato in half, put a slice of cucumber between the two halves, and hold it together with a skinny carrot stick. It looks just like the bobbers in his tackle box. He is now excited to take the veggie snack.

Milestones

I remember the day Josh was born. He had this long, dark hair that stuck out every which way and this perfect little nose and long fingers. He was so beautiful and sweet and miraculous. And I knew that day, that my heart was no longer my own.

Since then, he has grown and changed and become this little person that I've known forever and yet learn more about every day. And since the day he was born, he has hit all the milestones that children should. I have a picture of the first time he really smiled. I can see as clear as day the morning he stuck my finger in his mouth to let me know about his first tooth. I remember his first word, his first step, the first time he waved and laughed and said, "no." I remember his first day of school and the first time he read to me and the day that first tooth fell out. There have been so many firsts with him as my first child. Not only for him but for me, too.

And last night we reached another milestone. He spent the night at a friend's house. When the mom asked me, I have to admit that I was hesitant. I am just a little bit of a control freak and like to keep a pretty close eye on things. I've known this mom and her two boys for a few years now. They go to our school and the youngest was in my kindergarten class two years ago. So I decided to ask Josh if he would even want to spend the night at their house. I was secretly hoping he would say no so that I wouldn't have to decide. But he said a very enthusiastic "yes." So I talked to Arrty and we decided that it would be okay. We packed his bag and dug his sleeping bag out of the closet. He was to be picked up after school so that gave him the school day to think about it. At lunch when he came into my classroom, I asked him if he was still okay with the plans. He said, "Mom, I'm not going to change my mind." I guess he knows me as well as I know him. So after school, he got his stuff out of our car and loaded into his friend's car and almost left without even saying goodbye.

Before I headed home after a few hours of shopping, I called to check on him. The mom said he was doing great. She told me that when they got in the car to leave he was talking and laughing and when she asked him if he was excited, he said, "I'm so excited I'm shaking." When I talked to him he said that their new house was really cool, and that they had lots of video games and a new dog. And, no, he didn't want me to come get him. (I had to try, you know.)

So I went home with only one child, who was extremely spoiled on the shopping trip and got to stay up late, by the way. I only had to make sure one set of teeth was brushed and pull up the covers over one little boy. And so far this morning there has been no fighting over what to watch on t.v. or what games to play.

But as much as I have enjoyed the time with Adam and the quiet of one child, I have to say that I am counting the hours until I go to get Josh. And I promise to try not to embarrass him with all the hugging and crying.

Show and Tell Day

*a care bear wearing a diaper (which is apparently hilarious when you're 5)
*two stuffed doggies (Spot and her mom Snow, who is brown)
*a mickey mouse purse complete with library card and a story about the new CDA library and the books and movies that C. checked out
*"little human" action figures and their boat and a big boat that they can go in
*a black dog named Zero (He's a little round dog with almost no legs, hence the name.) He was the best behaved pet I have ever had visit for show and tell. He sat there and let all the kids pet him and hug him.
*a calculator--"This is the numbers and this is the screen and that's all."
*a Kenny Chesney cd with M.'s favorite song called "the very beginning song" And M. is going to marry Kenny some day. I hope I get invited to the wedding and that it's on that island that he owns!
*a stuffed something (horse, I think) with a bottle and a diaper (more hilarity)
*a Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium blimp from Wendy's which was the second best thing from Wendy's that day right after the Frosty.
*a dolly named Sally that "does this little thing" (she rattles), has Osh Kosh clothes, purple things in her hair, yarn for hair, piggy tails, brown eyes, a little tiny pink smile, a bow tied around her neck, who almost got lost two times last night but she was under L.'s pillow (I have to give L. a time limit. She especially likes the "tell" part of show and tell.)
*necklaces that A. made with special beads
*a game where you "try not to run into these little bell things"
*two remote control robots--a "big guy" and a "little guy"--that can walk forward and backward, talk, dance, sing, and hold things. Oh yeah. T. made them. Not bad for a 5 year old. And he sells them at Target, too!

Did You Know...

...that kindergarteners who pick their noses are the ones who are most bothered when others do the same thing?

...that sentences start with a capital and end with a "pyramid?"

...that if you tell five year olds to make a straight line when writing an "I" and then you don't, they will tell you every time?

...that seventh graders would rather do anything than multiply measurements...or multiply anything for that matter?

...that seventh graders will do pretty much anything for food, especially candy or fries?

...that "quiet" means two different things to the teacher and the students?

...that if you teach "Jingle Bells" to children, second and third grade boys will always teach them all the "Batman smells" version?

...that "Feliz Navidad" can also be sung "Police Mommy Dot?"

...that you should always try kindness first?

...that Christmas comes faster when your shopping isn't finished?

...that the kid who is sick and has to stay home doesn't want to, but the kid who is perfectly healthy would stay home in a second?

...that each day is full blessings with a few challenges mixed in?

Some things to be happy about today.

*old home videos
*shooting a whole roll of film
*hiding presents
*good news in the headlines
*a red cardinal at the bird feeder
*making Christmas cookies
*inviting your spouse to lunch
*grown-ups who still go sledding

Leftovers

Josh: "Mom, do you have ice cream to make shakes tonight?"

Me: "Yes, we have ice cream, but we made shakes last night and we're not going to have shakes two nights in a row."

Adam: "But we had turkey 8 days in a row!"

Today's Show and Tell

• toy cell phone so C. can text her sisters
• sticky tack (You know, that blue stuff that teacher's put posters up with.)
• miniature air hockey game
• stuffed horse that is "cuddly and soft"
• another toy cell phone
• two spider man action figures--one with a glider and one with a motorcycle
• little yellow unicorn (actually it's a pegasus)
• nothing to show, but this to tell, "A preying mantis is kind of like a cricket except it doesn't make noise."
• a stuffed kitty that meows when you rub her back (along with a 5 minute presentation on when she was lost, how she was found, and how L. convinced her sister to let her bring her for show and tell)
• a coin* that turns into a hand when you drop it into the lake (actually a nickel)
• a stuffed dog puppet that barks "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"
• a reading book (a teacher's favorite show and tell!)

*said coin was on the table when we started but somehow disappeared. I offered up a reward for the missing coin which sent my whole class into detective mode. It suspiciously appeared in the toy cupboard far away from where it started. I think it found it's way into a pocket and then into the toy cupboard so that the perpetrator could avoid being caught red handed. If you ever need to know, when a teacher offers a reward for something lost, they are watching to see which pocket the lost item appears in.

Fitting

Throw one little fit, and your co-workers think you are losing your mind. Or could at any moment.

That's what happened yesterday. As you know, my kindergarten class this year is challenging, to say the least. So on the way to school yesterday I was thinking about what I needed to do to regain control over my class. And whining to myself a little about how I have the biggest class and the most difficult students. So when my administrator announced in front of everyone that I might be getting a new student, I pretty much said, "No." No, I don't want a new student. My class is enough to handle and throwing a new student in three weeks before Christmas would put me right over the edge. I don't care how well behaved and smart he is. I'm already one student over my limit so, no, I don't want another student. And I said so. In front of everyone. With a few tears thrown in for good measure. (I'm blaming pregnancy hormones.)

So since then the other teachers have been stopping by my room to check on me and volunteering their rooms for troublemakers to sit in for a while. And probably checking to see that I haven't run screaming from the building leaving 13 poor five year olds to teach themselves that "a says a as in apple." Kathy, friend that she is, even offered to switch classes with me for the day. And she gave me a huge Toblerone bar today for a little extra encouragement. This would all be fine, except I was embarrassed enough as it was and then felt like a big baby. And I hate being babied.

Today was better. No tears (yet). And the class hasn't been quite as tough as usual. Maybe they sense the danger. And I didn't get babied quite so much. So all in all, I just might be able to make it through the next two weeks until Christmas vacation. And as big as the candy bar is, it might just last until then, too!

Mmm...Pineapple

I love fresh pineapple. And pineapple juice and pineapple chunks. And ham and pineapple pizza. And pineapple upside down cake. And I especially love the pineapple express. This wonderful gift from God that has miraculously appeared the last few days has melted over a foot of snow from my driveway and yard, has cleared all the ice from the roads that I have to drive, and has allowed me to throw my big down coat in the backseat of the van. It was 50 degrees when I was driving home today. It's like a reprieve from winter and I love it.

I know it won't last. I know the snow will come again and the coat will have to be worn. But for now, I am so enjoying a little warmth. A few more days and I just may be able to stand the rest of winter.

So Worth It

Guess what? I won a prize from nablopomo! I hardly ever win anything so it's quite exciting. I won a $40 gift card to iTunes from elizasmom. But can someone explain just what I do with a gift card to iTunes? Do I have to download music to an ipod or something? If that's the case, I know what I'm asking Santa for.

And if I didn't think so before, blogging for 30 days straight was so worth it.